DH is THAT soccer parent

[Anonymous]

OP again. Yes, Coach. You nailed it. It's a U09 team. Do you agree with the advice to involve the coach of our team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No parent should be allowed on the sidelines.

Parents shouldn't be allowed to watch their kids' soccer games?

Sorry, I agree it's a privilege that can and should be revoked for egregious behavior, but there are plenty of parents who enjoy watching their kids play, and know how to respect the coach, the players and the game.

[Anonymous]

Growing up a girl on my soccer team had a father like this. It was horribly embarrassing for her and I could tell psychologically damaging as well. OP, I'm sorry, this is a much bigger issue than being a bad fan on the sidelines. Please keep trying to find a way to deal with it for your and your daughter's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So, sadly, I will focus on trying to prevent DD from getting kicked off the team. That's about the only thing I have any hope of controlling. I'll talk to the coach.

You have all sorts of control, but you're sacrificing it to keep the peace. A scared, meager peace. Don't do that. Don't do that to yourself or your child.

Yes, ask the coach to send out guidelines for parent behavior, but also, get yourself into therapy or SOMETHING. You can't let this stay as it is. It's not healthy for any of you.

[Anonymous]

I think his soccer blow ups are the least of your concerns. He yells at you and his temper is so bad you're scared of talking to him? How would you feel if your daughter was in a relationship like that? Don't set that example for her by just trying to keep the peace and having her ignore him. Go to a new counselor, leave him, stand up for yourself, whatever works.

[Anonymous]

On our travel team, parents are not allowed to coach/yell/offer play suggestions or anything from the sidelines. We actually have a parent on the team that is suppose to keep parents in check, that's his job. I'm surprised that the refs haven't said anything.

[Anonymous]

Contact the coach.

I realize you might be too busy/tired/etc to want to battle this yourself. But if your husband has anger management problems and disrespects you and his daughter regularly, you really need to act sooner rather than later. It will never ever get better, and could get far worse.

You should probably see a therapist to guide you through your feelings on this. I read self-help books to help me deal with issues with my DH (who has improved a lot!).

Basically it boils down to respectful communication. Always model open, direct and specific communication. Never generalize or nag or use disrespectful tactics yourself and always call your husband out immediately when he becomes disrespectful (yells, insults, throws things, etc). Refuse to cooperate or discuss anything if not asked politely in a calm voice.

Be very consistent with this and unless he is far gone and dangerous things will improve.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is a bully. He is bullying you and he is bullying your children. Your children are watching him bully you and watching you allow it. They are watching you allow him to bully them. And now they are watching him bully other people's children. Please ask yourself why you are tolerating this and how far you are willing to go to keep the peace.

He's lucky one of the other fathers hasn't clocked him one yet. He better not be yelling at MY DC or I will rip him a new one. Asshole.

[Anonymous]

Why are you married to this man? I'm not trying to be facetious, but I can't see why you are better off in this marriage. The usual reasons that a daughter should have a relationship with her father don't really apply if he's actively damaging her self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

The coach needs to be the one to address it with him, not you through the coach.

A tip for the coach or the other coaches here. Just before the game starts, move the team to the other sideline.

AFter I did this the parents got it. I also make a barrier around the bnech with their bags.

We all yell, don't deny it, some are louder than others, some are more critical than others,.

Try this, tell yoru husband the game time changed for the next gamesay the game is at 10, tel him it moved to 12. Have your daughter get a ride to the game and see hwo she plays without him there.

[Anonymous]

Coach here, I would be happy to do the dirty work. Most of the time I am oblivious to parent coaching but if you pointed it out to me (even in a discreet way) I would embarrass the sh*to out of him. I'd call him out in front of everyone for sure. He sounds like a bully which would make if more fun for me.

Talk to the coach privately and ask him to help.

Sorry but your "D"H needs some cold H2O.

[Anonymous]

In a few years the referee will have the authority to issue a card to your daughter's team based on his behavior, and have his ass moved from the area. Maybe that will do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Parents canned be banned from attending games for this kind of behavior. It's happened in the past.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a TSL in your leagues/team? They need to shut him up, that's why they are there. Also the coach needs to address it. Perhaps also the team manager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a TSL in your leagues/team? They need to shut him up, that's why they are there. Also the coach needs to address it. Perhaps also the team manager.

Team Sportsmanship Leader may not be designated at U9 level. If so, then yes, he needs to be confronted directly.