Supervisor's wife diagnosed with cancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it's a serious cancer. Is the wife going to think that it's weird that one of her husbands young employees is writing to her?

Do I say I'm praying for her? Thinking of her (but I've never met her!)? Wishing her good health?

I think it is a very personal situation. you know the husband only, and he is your supervisor at work, not exactly a friend you know socially. I would let the husband know that he can count on you if he needs any extra-help at work or something so he does not have to be worried about the office if he has to take a day off to be at the hospital with the wife. I am sure he will appreciate that tremendously. If I was the wife in this situation, I personally would not appreciate to receive notes from strangers, including coworkers of my husband, telling me that they prey for me or something similar (I am not even religious). I am very private and in a situation like this I would, if anything, look to my family and close friends for confort. I think you mean well, but it is not your place to do anything for her. I see others disagree, but if I were you I would at least make sure she is the type of person who would appreciate your reaching out to her. I would not be happy and would be upset at my husband for sharing details of my health with strangers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked the husband the name of the restaurants that they like to get takeout/delivery. I sent a card with gift cards to Chinese/Chipotle/Starbucks.

My thoughts are with your family during this very difficult time.

(it does not matter that you are young and a woman)

+1. This is exactly what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Another cancer patient here.

Honestly, OP, in your situation, you don't need to do a thing. If you want to do something, I can tell you that one of the most important things I've learned in this experience is to be merciful and grateful for thoughts that come my way. You have many wonderful suggestions here, from a short note to meal cards, and they are all thoughtful and not likely to be dismissed as an intrusion.

Sure, you want to be respectful of boundaries and that is very important, but if you are talking about a single small act of support, in word or deed, I think that's nice.

Depending on her treatment, eating may be tricky, so something to consider besides meal cards might be a fruit basket (no citrus), or juice. One of the most original gifts I received from a coworker I didn't know very well was a made up six pack of organic juices from WF. Mango, pear, peach...really appreciated because I couldn't really stand solid food at the time.

I won't go on, but I hope this makes sense. A nice card, a small gift, an offer to help your supervisor take off needed time...it's all good, kind, humane, and appreciated.

[Anonymous]

When I was diagnosed earlier this year, my DH's co-workers were so thoughtful. They sent cards, and called with well wishes. When I had surgery they all brought over casseroles and goodies. It was so helpful no having to worry about food for a few weeks post surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - it's a serious cancer. Is the wife going to think that it's weird that one of her husbands young employees is writing to her?

Do I say I'm praying for her? Thinking of her (but I've never met her!)? Wishing her good health?

When I'm not sure how religious someone is I just say I'm keeping them in my thoughts.

Sending good wishes

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am a simple person, but just knowing that someone cared and wished me well, made me feel a lot of comfort.