What do you do about homework??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh - two weeks in and I'm dreading the next 9 months. His 2nd grade teacher expects 20-40 minutes of homework a day. I really don't think he has it in him, for a variety of reasons (some delays, personality, emotional issues, etc.). One worksheet and a few minutes practicing spelling is fine. Reading for fun (him or me) is fine. But 10-20 minutes of writing and another 20 minutes of reading required books that he may or may not be interested in isn't going to happen, and I refuse to spend the next 9 months fighting and yelling at him to get him to do it, especially when I know its not right or useful for him. What do I do - make my own decision about what he should or should not do? I'm already spread thin trying to make things okay in the classroom and in extracurriculars for him - I don't have the energy to fight with the school over homework too.

I could have written this post when my son was in 2nd grade.

Spelling we did out loud while he was jumping rope. We did 1/2 early, 1/2 after dinner/playtime outside (8ish), anything not completed I woke him a 1/2 hour early (motivation to get it done or an opportunity to do work with a clear head).

My 2nd grader would dictate to me and I wrote. For reading, we use Learning Ally or I read to him.

You may hire a teen for $10 to help with homework a few times a week. Kids are better with older kids.

[Anonymous]

Time for an IEP meeting so school and you work together on a solution for your DS. That's the ticket. Good communication and a written plan. It can be adjusted as time passes, of course.

[Anonymous]

Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tread carefully. You need to teach your child work habits. If he's coming in with unfinished HW and everyone isn't, he's going to stand out and internalize that.

The suggestions about setting a timer and prioritizing work are good starters.

By the time he's in older elementary, he could develop a case of learned helplessness. By the time they get to middle school, HW is not busy work and kids need to do it to keep up with the class.

As a teacher, I totally support efforts to limit homework, especially for kids who find the classroom extra challenging.

However, I also think one needs to be careful about letting kid's resistance to HW be the driver. By that I mean situations where a kid knows that they'll need to work for 20 minutes, rather than to completion, and that if they stall for those 20 minutes work will disappear.

I'd handle this by looking through the HW, talking to your kid about priorities, and then deciding, with their input, on what you think is a reasonable quantity. Then make your kid stick with it through completion. That is, I wouldn't do "20 minutes and then you're done", I'd say "we're just going to do the first 5, I'll draw a line at the place we're going to stop", and then if that takes 10 minutes you can celebrate how efficient your kid was and set a goal of 7 the next day, or if it takes 30 minutes you can process why it took longer than expected.

I think there's a place for saying "I underestimated this assignment, I'm going to make a change" but I also think that kids need the experience of working until completion, even if the quantity they're completing is drastically different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

[Anonymous]

PP, are you for real. Your kid is in 1st grade. Homework should not be his job. You need to re-think your priorities. He will learn more from playing and sports then filling out worksheets.

BTW, unless you are trying to be funny with the laundry comment, I think you missed the whole point of the article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

P.S. DS has AS so he really likes doing this or Math much more than sports...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

You can decide what is appropriate for your kid and I can decide what is appropriate for my kid. If you kid just loves to sit for hours and write Mandarin and is not obese then more power to you.

I do actually picture him being tied to the chair but I am sure you don't do that.. do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

You can decide what is appropriate for your kid and I can decide what is appropriate for my kid. If you kid just loves to sit for hours and write Mandarin and is not obese then more power to you.

I do actually picture him being tied to the chair but I am sure you don't do that.. do you?

He's 42 lbs and 48" tall so I would love it if he gained weight.

Not tied to a chair although I could try that during meals....

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for the link, I needed a good laugh!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I think there's a number of posters who kids don't have IEPs/SNs. [/b]Homework for our kids isn't usually just a case of making them put their nose to the grindstone. It's far more complex and requires a collaborative, consistent approach with the school so that the child learns to do what is needed and develops good study habits and strategies. The challenges you're having now are just a harbinger of what's to come.

You need to contact the teacher, explain the issues you're having with homework and come up with a plan. Since K, homework has been an issue for my oldest (ADHD/MERLD/hypotonia/anxiety). IN first grade, after a particular difficult night, I emailed his teachers (general and special ed) and basically todl them I was at my wits end. His teacher's response was that I should let homework become a battle, it just wasn't worth it. Together, we came up with a plan of how much time DS should spend on homework (as a PP noted, using a timer and no more than 10 minutes per grade level). If DS didn't finish it at home, he would finish it in class when the rest of the kids had 'free time' (time to choose what activity they did).

DH and I also changed the homework schedule. DS just isn't capable of doing homework after school. He's not. He's spent. He's done. We do it in the mornings when he's fresh. It's made a world of difference. We also have no screen time during the week so it's not as if he's just vegging in front of the TV after school. He walks the dog, plays Legos and then usually reads before bed. Everyone's quality of life has gotten much better, he's doing his homework but, more importantly, he's learning how to plan to get his work done and when the best time to do it is. These are things he needs to know about himself and which doesn't come naturally to him.

This seems to be the norm lately....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

are you really this dense and socially inept? I guess you are, so I'll spell it for you:

Not every child has Asperger's. Instead, they have learning disabilities. In that case, the regular class homework might be totally inappropriate for them. One thing that comes to mind is Everyday Math, which is totally worthless BS for many SN kids. My child cried every night we tried to do this. I finally ripped the whole damn book to shreds and shitcanned it. Told the school they needed to get a different curriculum for my son. They admitted that most children with SN can't do this spiral approach to math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen to this!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-wapole/thirty-minutes-tops_b_3861853.html

Please, laundry folding ability is overrated. DH has never folded laundry in his life - It's all sent out except for stuff like underwear and socks which never has to be folded unless he wants to.

I posted earlier about my 1st grader who has homework now and also had homework in K. Busywork or not, homework is prioritized over laundry, sports, and playing. My mother always said a kid's "job" is school and DS will get homework, some important, some not so much, all through school; may as well get used to it now...

Nothing "comes first" .. It's about balance. If your homework (or your job for that matters) is making it so you can not have a healthy body and a healthy mind and family time, then homework (or work)needs to be limited.

But our family emphasize picking jobs that don't suck your soul so maybe we are in the minority.

Why is expecting a kid to do their homework "soul sucking"? It's appropriate homework for DS's age and abilities so I expect him to do his homework. Nothing more, nothing less. DS goes to an immersion language school, Mandarin, and the only way he is going to learn to write Mandarin is if he practices writing the characters over and over b/c there is no other way around it.

are you really this dense and socially inept? I guess you are, so I'll spell it for you:

Not every child has Asperger's. Instead, they have learning disabilities. In that case, the regular class homework might be totally inappropriate for them. One thing that comes to mind is Everyday Math, which is totally worthless BS for many SN kids. My child cried every night we tried to do this. I finally ripped the whole damn book to shreds and shitcanned it. Told the school they needed to get a different curriculum for my son. They admitted that most children with SN can't do this spiral approach to math.

In my first post, I said that if there are learning disabilities or any other SNs, schoolwork issues should be addressed and accommodated in the IEP. That's what IEPs are for.

However, homework issues due to personality, the fact that the kid does not like doing homework, the fact that it interfers with playtime and sports.... Like OP mentioned. Well, too bad. Homework needs to get by the SN kid like every other kid in the class.

Hope that spells it out for you.