Ironman Widow

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a particular kind of OCD/ED that manifests in men as an obsession with health and fitness. He will be like this on and off in a variety of ways for the rest of his life so set some expectations now! I.e. "I don't care what you eat but I don't want to hear a word about what I choose to eat."

[Anonymous]

You should train for a sprint or Olympic. It will give you both something to do together. He clearly loves the sport. You should try it.

[Anonymous]

OP Here. So the wine and pasta thing - he's on a strict no-carb deal where he burns fat..something about ketosis...

I got scolded for bringing home bagels. We do have a toddler, and it does throw off the balance of home time. He mostly works out before or after work, and then a long workout on weekends, but it definitely impacts time. Other than that, we do both spend time with our kid quite a bit - we just think it's okay to have other interests as well.

I do need to be supportive. He's so into this, and he knows he's making sacrifices, and it is pretty cool overall.

I'm just whining. I'll eat carbs at lunch when I need to.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you can't have wine and carbs in the house. If he wants to be no-carbs (I assume he means no grains), fine (though I think that's stupid given the training he's doing). Why can't you make a meal where he gets his meat and veggies, and you and the toddler get those plus your pasta or bread or whatever you want? He sounds controlling and rigid.

[Anonymous]

"Why no wine or pasta? I do triathlons and marathons and I inhale some pasta, especially on a Friday night when I'm gearing up for a long Saturday morning training run.

No wine? say what? One of the bennies of excessive exercise is that I can indulge in excessive calories and burn it right off.

Your DH sounds like he has some serious food issues if he is not getting a majority of his calories from carbs. I eat like a complete hog at a troth when training for a big race...Maybe that is why I carry around an extra 10lbs...slight overweight, well fed, strong as ox heart, and happy"

To this PP...I think it's "trough" not "troth."

[Anonymous]

Old men can't accept that they are old and invisible and become fools in their pursuit to be young.

[Anonymous]

You got scolded for bringing home a bagel for you and yout toddler to eat?? WTF? Please tell me that you are not doing a no carb diet for your toddler!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. So the wine and pasta thing - he's on a strict no-carb deal where he burns fat..something about ketosis...

I got scolded for bringing home bagels. We do have a toddler, and it does throw off the balance of home time. He mostly works out before or after work, and then a long workout on weekends, but it definitely impacts time. Other than that, we do both spend time with our kid quite a bit - we just think it's okay to have other interests as well.

I do need to be supportive. He's so into this, and he knows he's making sacrifices, and it is pretty cool overall.

I'm just whining. I'll eat carbs at lunch when I need to.

Lady get a backbone! Your last sentence is pathetic. Are you his property or something? Have some self respect.

The ketosis thing is useful for FAT people. Your husband needs to get his head checked.

[Anonymous]

who the hell gets "scolded" by their spouse? I think you have bigger problems than Ironman. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Myhusband has been doing Ironman/tris since 2007. I like being his "athletic supporter". The full Ironman races are usually held in some great locations. He pays for a great hotel for us during race weeks/weekends & we make a vacation out of it. We go to the pool together & I video him to do swim stroke analysis. I sometimes volunteer at the races. We have gone together to clinics held by the DC Tri club. We discuss the pros & cons of gatorade & various other nutrition. I have a genuine interest even though Ironman is not something I want to do myself. And he is considerate about making sure it's not the only thing we focus on as a couple. It is a major commitment to train. Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

You do realize they make jogging strollers right? Get one. Send DD with and have a few hours to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Your husband has put your toddler on his strict diet. YOUR TODDLER! If you dont have a backbone for yourself, at leat get one for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I'm aware that I should be supportive of my DH, who is training for his first Ironman, but I'm so so over it. The long training, the constant discussion, the diet judgements. Plus because he is working out so much, we have had to adjust our schedule to meet his training, meaning I am not able to work out (I work out a normal amount, not 4 hours per day amount) regularly, which he just is annoying about. Ironman widows or ladies who have done this, help. Seriously. I find myself rebelling by eating cookies at work. I just want a glass of wine and a bowl of pasta once in a while! I want to go for a run without feeling like I am lame for only doing 5-6 miles. I am tired of the all-health all the time. This might make me terrible, but I am complaining anyway.

Who else is a workout widow? Help me deal with this?

No- you have CHOSEN to adjust your schedule. You can do your thing just like he does his. If you want to go out and he's not home, get a sitter and go out. This doesn't make you terrible, it makes you a doormat who blames your issues on others rather than on you, where they belong.

[Anonymous]

My husband has done 3 IM and 2 half IM all within 3 years and I have two kids on two different swim teams who practice 5/6 days a week and their meets are all weekend long . I'm ready to crack if he does another I might leave him .

[Anonymous]

Stop being a martyr. Eat what you want. For every hour he spends exercising that you are with the kid alone, you should get the same number of hours. Pass the kid off to him and go to the gym.