Lesbian Couple with known sperm donor in Virginia, laws?

[Anonymous]

She isn't a VA attorney, but the second parent adoption is in DC, so it's fine for our (PP) purposes. We did use another attorney for wills, parenting agreements, and estate planning in VA.

I will say that everyone will tell you to move. And it is probably easier if you do, but that wasn't tenable with our family so we stayed. Our adoption should finalize in the next few weeks and then we are well covered aside from state taxes and whole family insurance and other benefits.

[Anonymous]

You can have a second parent adoption in dc if you live in va? I thought you would need to establish residency. Let me know if I've misunderstood.

[Anonymous]

So long as the child(ren) are born in DC you can second parent adopt in DC even if you are resident in VA. This is due to a change in the DC Parentage Act. It only applies to kids born after Mid-July 2009 (thank goodness ours was born in August!)

[Anonymous]

Ok wow, thanks pp!

[Anonymous]

Get a lawyer to make sure you have the facts, and use an anonymous donor. An anonymous donor is about peace of mind. And move out of Virginia.

--Lesbian mom of 2 in DC

[Anonymous]

While I agree with you, PP, that advice isn't the most helpful. Many of us are in VA because of- cost of real estate, good schools, jobs, commutes- just like everyone else. It isn't one size fits all, and with the new rules in DC for second parent adoption, it's not as bleak as you make it sound. The quality of life for my family is much greater here than it would be in DC.

[Anonymous]

Yes unfortunately moving into dc isn't an option. We currently live several hours from dc for work and education reasons.

5:54- would you mind elaborating on your known donor opinion? We are just starting to explore all our options.

[Anonymous]

just move from Va. The state is so ass backwards. Why woudl you want ot pay taxes to this place. I cant wait to leave and I just concerned about their racebased issues

[Anonymous]

I totally get that you make a life yourselves where you make a life for yourselves, but it is just easier for same sex couples with kids in MD or VA. We moved from Va to MD before we had kids. If you give birth in VA, string together some legal paperwork, then move somewhere where you can do 2nd parent adoption, VA (unlike other states) will not issue you the original birth certificate in both your names.

[Anonymous]

Yes PP, but DC will, so as long as you can cross the bridge before the baby comes, you can get the birth cert (which is not even legally binding) and a 2nd parent adoption.