Guy's opinion - Why guys go radio silent?
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Anonymous
Were you with him to verify that's what he was doing? A co-worker's BF spent every weekend with family, and it turns out the family was another woman in another town. |
Anonymous
| How old is he? |
Anonymous
| at the very least, he's dating someone else. Probably the person he's away with on the weekends/at the wedding, which is why he can't answer the text. He enjoys sex with you, and perhaps likes you a lot in other ways and perhaps is keeping his options open, but he is definitely seeing someone else. I am a woman who has had a lot of mostly physical relationships--sadly I think that the double standard is alive and well. If you get too physical too soon, you've run the risk of categorizing yourself as 'easy,' and thus a second choice for sex. this is not to say that sleeping together early on necessarily dooms a relationship, but if you start out by dating and taking your time to get to know someone, you'll figure out whether they are truly interested in getting to know you. I learned that the hard way (not saying I didn't have f un, but I also got my heart broken a lot). And by the way, I "dated" two men like this--hot/cold, incredibly amorous/distant/unreachable/always busy: one turned out to be married, and the other one was in a serious relationship, since when I ran into him about 2 months after I ended things (he was too flaky), he was with his fiancee and was wearing a frozen, guilty look on his face. |
Anonymous
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Either he is not as into you as you are into him or he may be into someone else as well.
Soo....either way, unless you are willing to accept sloppy seconds, I would let this one slide on by.... |
Anonymous
+1. As someone who's been there, this is such a liberating concept, OP. I even learned not to take it personally and realized that I only want to date men who make it known in no uncertain terms that they want me. Fuck him. Find a guy who doesn't play games. |
Anonymous
| He's probably dating or married to a consultant who travels during the week |
Anonymous
| Agree that he's not that into you, and I also think the conversation about where the relationship is heading was his way of trying to gauge if he can keep things going as a FWB relationship with no expectations, or he is going to have to manage you and then dump you quickly once you get too serious. |
Anonymous
| He likes you and likes the physical relationship. But he doesn't want more. Sadly, it really is that simple sometimes. |
Anonymous
| UGH, OP here... thanks everyone, for the candid feedback. As much as it really sucks I do believe in actions speak louder than words and his actions are definitely not consistent with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me. Like one poster said, if a guy wants to see you he will make that happen. He will pursue someone he likes; they are wired for the hunt. I feel like I've been hunting him a lot more than he's been hunting me. I haven't heard from him now in almost a week so I am guessing that you all are right that he's definitely moved on to someone else. Though I'm sure that he will pop his head out of the woodwork again eventually. It's times like these where I really wish my heart didn't get so invested. I can only hope that if/when he reappears for his next "physical fix" that I'm strong enough to say thanks but no thanks... |
Anonymous
Yep, this is what I think. Stay strong, OP! I'd try a little radio silence of your own and see what happens when you're less available. |
Anonymous
OP here: yeah I'm done communicating with him. I've put myself out there, like an adult, told him how I feel (which by the way is simply that I like him and enjoy spending time together and I'd like to get to know him better). I'm coming off a very mentally abusive marriage where my trust was severely violated so I have a hard time dealing with guys who want to play games. Don't get me wrong I get casual sex but he does not make it about casual sex. He's constantly making references to doing things together, one night he was suggesting we go away on a tropical vacation together, etc etc. But there's no substance behind it, and in reality he's just playing me. This is so frustrating. Even fish are better at mating than humans. FISH! LOL |
Anonymous
| Cut your losses and run, OP. Even if your adding some distance makes him come crawling back for more, don't fall for it. If this is who he is now, he isn't going to change and your relationship would be doomed ultimately. Men who make those kind of hollow promises are an enormous red flag/deal breaker. |
Anonymous
| Some guys HATE talking on the phone... Im one of them |
Anonymous
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OP..I know this will sound cheesy..but read the book Mars and Venus on a Date...it helped me so much when I was trying to naviagate dating and ultimately find my husband. It really explains the difference between "normal" man silence and red flag silence. Good luck!
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Anonymous
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Op, I think you said HE initiated the conversation of "Where is this going"? If so, I would give him ONE more chance. I would tell him, if it's accurate: "You say you like me and want to continue to see me, but I am getting mixed signals from you. I find it strange that you go for extended periods of time not responding to my texts, or generally being unreachable. This makes me feel that either you are not interested, or perhaps you are seeing someone else."
And see what he says. No harm in just asking. You can still move on after you get his answer. |