reciprocal IVF

[Anonymous]

My (same-sex) spouse and I did it and it was amazing. The epigenetics aspect to it is so interesting. When we were researching clinics, Shady Grove told us they wouldn't do it because it wasn't for medical reasons. Check out Columbia Fertility - it's only $1K extra over the price of regular IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My (same-sex) spouse and I did it and it was amazing. The epigenetics aspect to it is so interesting. When we were researching clinics, Shady Grove told us they wouldn't do it because it wasn't for medical reasons. Check out Columbia Fertility - it's only $1K extra over the price of regular IVF.

Wow. That's crazy. We have only talked ranges, not specific numbers with CFA. I hope our experience is the same. Thanks so much for sharing. This is wonderful news.

Just out of curiosity, when did you approach Shady Grove? We only got a little push back when we broached the topic of reciprocal IVF. There is some medical reasoning to us wanting to do reciprocal IVF, but honestly, not a lot.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest CFA for not only the price information you got above but also to the more general openness to hearing patients and not always following established protocol.

I had a very good experience with Dr. Sacks but know there are other REs there whom others really like too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest CFA for not only the price information you got above but also to the more general openness to hearing patients and not always following established protocol.

I had a very good experience with Dr. Sacks but know there are other REs there whom others really like too.

Thank you. We are definitely leaning in this direction. I've heard good and bad things about both places. SG is a machine, CFA's billing and admin is a nightmare, etc. We need to assess cost, comfort, and all the other factors and then go from there.

This info is super helpful. Thanks to everyone!

[Anonymous]

GW does this as well! There billing department is great especially Brian. GL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:GW does this as well! There billing department is great especially Brian. GL!

This is good to know. We have more options than I anticipated.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Just to report back in case anyone else is looking for this type of information, (original thread starter here), my wife and I did back to back appointments at CFA and SG. We saw Abbasi and the financial person at CFA and then the financial counselor and our scheduler at SG.

CFA - We really like Abbasi, we like her approach, we're treated like the couple we are both in their system as well as in the process. We're not forced to see a social worker because we're using donated materials (in their eyes the donation here is the sperm, which we're buying from a cryobank, and not my wife's egg which will be used to create the embryo which I'll then carry.) They will submit paperwork to insurance to see how that goes (our insurance has been iffy about what they're cover) but if we need to pay entirely out of pocket, the costs are more inclusive than SG and if you do a fresh cycle each time and aren't lucky after the first 2, the 3rd is free. Unfortunately the financial counselor we saw at CFA, while supportive and very nice, didn't seem particularly well informed. There was no information about financing as far as private loans were concerned which is unfortunate. We're going to reach out further on this one.

SG - Everyone is nice, and while they treat us like a couple in our offices, my wife must go through the donor program and we must see a social worker for up to three visits to discuss our donor material (if you're a straight couple and a husband is "donating" his sperm to create an embryo, this session in not required, but I digress). Our scheduler is affiliated exclusively with the donor program was super nice but even she offered to show us the donor egg database, then caught herself and was embarrassed but still, it was illuminating as to how much of a factory mentality it is. Again, fine if it works for you, but it was really clear how outside of the norm we were for this facility. I didn't like us being separated out in the process. And the financial counselor was very nice and extremely well informed, however all of the egg harvesting costs are extra, even to the shared risk program.

Bottom line, we're going with CFA. This is an expensive process and we want to be treated like a couple who want a baby. We're more confident that Abbasi will be able to roll with the punches if we have any specific medical needs along the way. Ultimately we've crunched the numbers and 6 tries under SG's shared risk program will cost as much or more than 6 tries with fresh cycles at CFA where you get the 3rd try free if the first two cycles don't work.

Hope this is helpful for anyone else looking for similar info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to report back in case anyone else is looking for this type of information, (original thread starter here), my wife and I did back to back appointments at CFA and SG. We saw Abbasi and the financial person at CFA and then the financial counselor and our scheduler at SG.

CFA - We really like Abbasi, we like her approach, we're treated like the couple we are both in their system as well as in the process. We're not forced to see a social worker because we're using donated materials (in their eyes the donation here is the sperm, which we're buying from a cryobank, and not my wife's egg which will be used to create the embryo which I'll then carry.) They will submit paperwork to insurance to see how that goes (our insurance has been iffy about what they're cover) but if we need to pay entirely out of pocket, the costs are more inclusive than SG and if you do a fresh cycle each time and aren't lucky after the first 2, the 3rd is free. Unfortunately the financial counselor we saw at CFA, while supportive and very nice, didn't seem particularly well informed. There was no information about financing as far as private loans were concerned which is unfortunate. We're going to reach out further on this one.

SG - Everyone is nice, and while they treat us like a couple in our offices, my wife must go through the donor program and we must see a social worker for up to three visits to discuss our donor material (if you're a straight couple and a husband is "donating" his sperm to create an embryo, this session in not required, but I digress). Our scheduler is affiliated exclusively with the donor program was super nice but even she offered to show us the donor egg database, then caught herself and was embarrassed but still, it was illuminating as to how much of a factory mentality it is. Again, fine if it works for you, but it was really clear how outside of the norm we were for this facility. I didn't like us being separated out in the process. And the financial counselor was very nice and extremely well informed, however all of the egg harvesting costs are extra, even to the shared risk program.

Bottom line, we're going with CFA. This is an expensive process and we want to be treated like a couple who want a baby. We're more confident that Abbasi will be able to roll with the punches if we have any specific medical needs along the way. Ultimately we've crunched the numbers and 6 tries under SG's shared risk program will cost as much or more than 6 tries with fresh cycles at CFA where you get the 3rd try free if the first two cycles don't work.

Hope this is helpful for anyone else looking for similar info.

FYI, just wanted to support your choice. I'm a parent of two kids as a result of Dr. Abassi's work. She's terrific. Very smart, straightforward, non-judgmental and responsive. Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Much appreciated. We've seen her twice in trying to make a decision about which place to use and really loved Abbasi for all the reasons you've listed.

[Anonymous]

Most clinics will do this if you are willing to pay for unnecessary procedures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most clinics will do this if you are willing to pay for unnecessary procedures.

What does that even mean?

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

I know this is an old thread but I'm hoping someone can help my partner and I navigate the jungle of DC fertility clinics. We are looking to do reciprocal IVF using a sperm donor (she is 32 and will carry, I am 28 and will donate); however, we are unsure about where to go/how much we should except to spend. Do any of you have any updates about doctors? It sounds like Dr. Abbassi at CFA got good reviews here...yelp reviews for fertility clinics are alllll over the place. I'll take any advice!!!

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi there,

I know this is an old thread but I'm hoping someone can help my partner and I navigate the jungle of DC fertility clinics. We are looking to do reciprocal IVF using a sperm donor (she is 32 and will carry, I am 28 and will donate); however, we are unsure about where to go/how much we should except to spend. Do any of you have any updates about doctors? It sounds like Dr. Abbassi at CFA got good reviews here...yelp reviews for fertility clinics are alllll over the place. I'll take any advice!!!

Thank you!

Hello,

My wife and I did this w/Abbasi. We had a lot of unforeseen issues, and our insurance paid for quite a lot of things (we were very lucky for this to be the case, I know) so I can't really advise on cost. I can say that if you go with CFA, Abbasi is amazing and if you can do it, cycle through her office in Bethesda - that office is far less hectic and the staff is great. We would occasionally go to DC for monitoring and for the big procedures (retrieval and transfer) but otherwise did everything through Bethesda. I know people have complained about CFA's admin and getting answers on financial stuff but fortunately we had no issues with this.

We also did a consult with SG and did not love how we were treated - my wife had to go through their "donor egg program" which I just found stupid and kind of offensive for their to be any mention of "donor" anything besides the sperm we were buying. I'm sure they don't make straight male partners go through a "sperm donor" program for their wives to use their husband's sperm. Also they told us that they would only process insurance for one of us - not both. Since our insurance did cover a considerable amount of our treatment (there was a cap which applied to fertility treatment which included both of us and once we used this amount of $$ insurance was done with coverage, but we never actually reached the modest cap), had we gone with SG we really would have gotten screwed financially. Granted it took us 2.5 - 3 years to get pregnant, so SG may have changed their tune, but we were happy we went with our gut and went to CFA because we had no idea of the financial implications of paying out of pocket for one of us.

My only other piece of advice is start sooner rather than later. We ran into fertility issues and it took us almost three years to be successful (and I'm currently pregnant so I won't consider it completely successful until we can actually hold our healthy baby!) We didn't know enough to realize that there are lots of kind of preliminary tests to be done - you can do those things and then kind of wait for the big stuff and/or you guys can even get as far as a retrieval, freeze and then do a transfer whenever you like. The one other thing that really helped us is we did PGD (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preimplantation_genetic_diagnosis), a pricey procedure (maybe 5k out of pocket) but we were having egg quality issues - we would get embryos that looked good but weren't genetically viable. It was worth it to us to find the one or two viable embryos and only implant those. Again, something we only learned with trial and error but definitely something to discuss with your RE if you're having any issues.

Best of luck to you and your partner. I hope it is a quick, easy, and successful process for you both!