my moms boyfriend makes racist "jokes" WWYD

[Anonymous]

Talk to your mother. If this continues, she will only see the child at your house, without this bigoted man around.

[Anonymous]

my advice is a little different than others. If he is well educated and in a really good position in a really good institute, chances are he KNOWS when it's appropriate to keep his mouth shut and thoughts to himself. I can't imagine him saying these things at work. So my advice is different than if he was some uneducated, unemployed little shit that doesn't recognize the difference between professionalism and being an asshat.


So, my suggestion is that the next time he makes such a comment - and EVERY time he makes a "joke" you put on your professional "HR Manager" attitude and say, "Rick, I REALLY don't appreciate your racist jokes. It's unacceptable to me, as I am biracial, and I will not tolerate it in front of little Susie."

You say that every time. seriously, professionally, and don't engage in debate. Pretend you're the HR manager and this was an employee who did that at the office. No matter what he comes back with. "Hey, it's just a joke" "I didn't mean anything by it" "it's harmless" "don't be so uptight" you respond with the same calm tone and repeat. just say, "As I said, it's unacceptable to me and will not tolerate it in front of Susie." Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

DON'T respond to his comments - don't get into the "it's not harmless" I'm not being uptight... whether or not you meant something, it's hurtful - DON'T engage in that because you can't change his opinion - he'll still have those thoughts so it would be useless to try and convince him why they are wrong. But, you can tell him you won't tolerate it (and it'll be good for your daughter to hear you saying that).

Hopefully, what will happen is that he'll probably roll his eyes at you, think you're uptight, but....he'll know to curb his comments in your presence. And that's all you can do. You can't change the man - but you can "hopefully" change his behavior around you and your DD.

[Anonymous]

It isn't the OP's job to teach this man basic manners. If he's saying these things in front of the OP's daughter - that is the OP's concern. What if her child repeats something that this fool has said around her - at school or at daycare? How would you feel if the OP's DD made these remarks to your kid? Who would be in trouble then? I would avoid this oaf like the plague. If he holds a professional position - he does know better, he just doesn't care. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Adding - people who make "jokes" like this (especially around little kids!) often have quite a mean streak. Keep on eye on your mom, OP.