How do you react to a family member insulting you

[Anonymous]

I say, "c'mon Ma, really!? Stop being so racist."

[Anonymous]

My FIL keeps saying I look tired. Last night I told him it's not a very nice thing to say. Today he told my husband I shouldn't take it the wrong way and he didn't mean to insult me. But he says it EVERY frickin time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My FIL keeps saying I look tired. Last night I told him it's not a very nice thing to say. Today he told my husband I shouldn't take it the wrong way and he didn't mean to insult me. But he says it EVERY frickin time.

Tell him he looks old or senile over and over again. If he calls you out on it tell your H that you didn't meant to insult him.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the comment, I have said, "if you want to hang out with me, you can't say shit like that around me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some good one liners I can use when calling them on it?

One time I was sincerely shocked by a comment and just loudly and slowly said WOOOW. She realized she had put her foot in her mouth and began stuttering and trying to talk about sonething else.

Sounds like you made it clear that the person said something offensive to you. One liners are hard to get right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL keeps saying I look tired. Last night I told him it's not a very nice thing to say. Today he told my husband I shouldn't take it the wrong way and he didn't mean to insult me. But he says it EVERY frickin time.

Tell him he looks old or senile over and over again. If he calls you out on it tell your H that you didn't meant to insult him.

I know right! Same guy who 12 hours after I gave birth asked me if the doctors forgot the twin inside. Duh.
My 6 month old dd has started to wake in the middle of the night again how about cutting me some slack on my looks or gasp, actually give me a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL keeps saying I look tired. Last night I told him it's not a very nice thing to say. Today he told my husband I shouldn't take it the wrong way and he didn't mean to insult me. But he says it EVERY frickin time.

Tell him he looks old or senile over and over again. If he calls you out on it tell your H that you didn't meant to insult him.

I know right! Same guy who 12 hours after I gave birth asked me if the doctors forgot the twin inside. Duh.
My 6 month old dd has started to wake in the middle of the night again how about cutting me some slack on my looks or gasp, actually give me a compliment.

We must have the same FIL. My douche bag FIL told me I still looked really chubby 3 weeks after giving birth.

[Anonymous]

I just ignore them. It often comes from insecurity. I used to get upset but I realize the person is feeling bad about his own life.

[Anonymous]

I've learned that a resounding "Fuck You" does the trick. At least it gets the offending family members to stop communicating with me, even if it doesn't get them to like me.

I suppose it also clarifies for me that I'm simply not interested in continuing the relationship. This is basically where it has stood between me and all of my husband's immediate family since about year 8 of marriage.

[Anonymous]

After close to 35 yrs of putting up with my sisters shit, I finally cut ties and I won't deal with her anymore. At all. She's 10 yrs older than me so we are really different generations anyway. My mom gave me some grief about severing ties for a couple of yrs but then my sister started in on her on, on facebook, so I think she gets it now. My sister is blocked from my FB acct so I don't have to put up with her crap there, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I it general insults or personal ones. If they are insulting a category or group that you happen to be part of (lawyers, Southerners, Christians, poor people) then ignore it - it is just their prejudice.

If it is personal - you are fat, lazy etc... then I would address it right away.

I'm too fat and lazy to address anything right away.

[Anonymous]

Hire a hit man.

[Anonymous]

The worst is my fil - who tries to pretend like he's being really caring when he insults people. He'll say rude things over and over again and pretend he's showing concern. My should goes ballistic if I respond shocked (which I usually do) bc his dad is "so caring."

"You looked terrible in the pictures from your friends wedding. We're you sick? Maybe you had a sinus infection. Your face looked puffy."

"You're looking big in the middle. You must be working too hard to work out."

[Anonymous]

I wish I had a dollar for every time a family member insulted me. I would be a thousandaire many times over!

[Anonymous]

I cut off half of my family b/c they were such assholes.

Blood is NOT thicker than water, IMO, and I now define friends as family.