How would you feel about this friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think this friend is not a friend in need. I think this friend is avoiding dealing with a difficult situation in the other friend's family in any way.

+1 I would think the same...but I'd need more proof. It's less about who visited who when and where. The bigger issue is the lack of contact following friend X's family crisis and subsequent efforts to reach out. I'd bring it up with friend Y to see what's going on. However, if friend Y continues to not communicate I would adjust my expectations of this friendship. Sometimes people grow apart as they grow up. Doesn't mean you can't remain friendly acquaintances. But perhaps this is no longer a close friend. Or maybe this person has issues going on that you are unaware of. Reserve full judgment until your question, one way or another, is asked and answered.

[Anonymous]

The fact that your friend has money is not relevant at all, but it does seem like you hold it against her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that your friend has money is not relevant at all, but it does seem like you hold it against her.

+1

Yes, don't understand the need to mention that? Says more about you than her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a drama queen and included way too many irrelevant details.

Just ask her directly why she hasn't responded.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok but clearly you have gone your seperate ways if you haven't seen each other in 3 years

But they talk often via phone and online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact that your friend has money is not relevant at all, but it does seem like you hold it against her.

+1

Yes, don't understand the need to mention that? Says more about you than her.

How do you know it's "her" and how do you know who is the OP in the scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I learned my friend would not make to a much expected meeting because her baby was severely ill I'd do my best to meet them and show support.

I think that sounds nice in theory and that would be my first thought but then again I think a distant friend you haven't seen in years, whose children have never met, would actually be more of a burden in the situation then a help. When a child is critically ill, it's not the time to try and socialize. Friend could have called and been more supportive but the friend was visiting from overseas, likely had many commitments to visit others, and was likely overwhelmed with the schedule. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Who talked about socializing? We're talking about a sick baby going through surgery.

We see women on DCUM all the time advising others to show support. Why is the friend here looking for support called a drama queen?

[Anonymous]

Huh? Op, sorry, but i don't think your friend did anything wrong.
You cancelled on her for a valid reason.
Why in the works would she have for rearrange you itenenrary t visit you, ESP since your kid is sick so you probably wouldn't have much time to focus on her anyway? Why would someone with a sick kid want house guests??

[Anonymous]

The friend coming to visit should understand that the other friend has a valid reason to no longer meet them away from home, given the sick child, and should not be offended. The friend with the sick child should understand the other friend might not want to visit that friend when his/her child is sick. No one should be offended up to that point. It's unfortunate the traveling friend has chosen to ignore the messages of the sick child's parent.

[Anonymous]

Anyone using the word vacay can't be my friend. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

I understand that OP is mostly offended by the fact that friend
1)never asked how the child was doing
2) does not respond to messages

No one expected this friend to alter plans and come visit OP.

[Anonymous]

Why do you keep answering your own thread? It's so obvious by your writing style

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that OP is mostly offended by the fact that friend
1)never asked how the child was doing
2) does not respond to messages

No one expected this friend to alter plans and come visit OP.

Agree. And yes, it's lousy of this friend to ignore communications post trip. A friend has a sick child, and that's the time you decide to distance yourself? What's up with that. Either the friend is not a very nice person or the cancellation of the meet up is the straw the broke the camel's back after a long series of perceived slights. If the latter, friend should have the decency to just say so. They live in different countries, so it's not like she's have to have an awkward face-to-face conversation. I short email with request that friendship be allowed to die would be a respectful way to handle it, given the circumstances.

It's all the more puzzling given that OP is the one inconvenienced by the change in plans. She was going to fly 5 hours to meet up with friend based on friend's itinerary. From my reading of the post, the change in plans was not going to dramatically change friend's travel arrangements. Is that correct?

[Anonymous]

Maybe your effort to meet up is not as " huge" as you think it is. Something tells me this isn't the first time you've ditched plans to meet, legitimate excuse or not. Your friend is probably fed up and has given you the finger.