stepsiblings

[Anonymous]

I'm 21:45. I'm sure I'd freak if I got divorced and new wife referred to my kids as hers but other side of the coin, I am now in my 40s and totally appreciate that my step mom and my dad have so willingly embraced us all and I feel extremely lucky to have more good family in my life. What I particularly appreciate is that all of the grandkids (12 and counting) are loved "equally" and unconditionally - there is no "step" quality at all, which is so important to me and my kids. Of course, this bugs my mom too but I'm happy my kids have this family in their lives - we are all richer for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 21:45. I'm sure I'd freak if I got divorced and new wife referred to my kids as hers but other side of the coin, I am now in my 40s and totally appreciate that my step mom and my dad have so willingly embraced us all and I feel extremely lucky to have more good family in my life. What I particularly appreciate is that all of the grandkids (12 and counting) are loved "equally" and unconditionally - there is no "step" quality at all, which is so important to me and my kids. Of course, this bugs my mom too but I'm happy my kids have this family in their lives - we are all richer for it.

Good for you and your children!

[Anonymous]

I think it depends sometimes on context too. My DH has 2 half brothers--he generally refers to them as his brothers, but will sometimes refer to them as his half-brothers to kind of clarify the situation as needed.

My DDs all refer to each other as sisters (they're half-siblings). I do not think I would be fine with my DH calling my older dd his daughter though--it would just be weird, even though she lives with us. She has a dad that is active in her life.

[Anonymous]

By related and not my brother or sister. Ther mother is married to my father, nothing more. I hate it when they introduce me as their sister and correct them.

[Anonymous]

Two half brothers who I refer to as brothers, except when clarification needed as PPs mentioned. I also refer to my stepmom as mom - didn't always but my real mom passed when I was young and she has been like a mother to me for most of my life. I consider myself lucky to have two wonderful moms. I was lucky though - my real mom's family was very accepting and inclusive to my stepmom, especially my grandmother. It made everything so much easier all around. My grandmother also referred to my half brothers as grandsons even though there was no biological relationship.

[Anonymous]

All the families I know personally in this situation use brother and sister. Makes sense, especially when they are living in the same house.

[Anonymous]

What about kids that don't live in the same house, and are different ethnicities? They are raised differently and it is clear they are not full siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about kids that don't live in the same house, and are different ethnicities? They are raised differently and it is clear they are not full siblings.

You are gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about kids that don't live in the same house, and are different ethnicities? They are raised differently and it is clear they are not full siblings.

You are gross.

This is a legitimate question. DS wonders why he has to eat certain foods and half brothers don't have to, why he can't have a tv in the room like they do or spend hours in front of video games/movies, why he speaks a different language, takes language classes, has to do chores and read each night, can't dress like they do, etc. When they come over, our house rules don't apply to them.

It is in fact much easier to explain that things are different because they are half siblings. That is why they are a different ethnicity (and don't have to speak the language or participate in various cultural activities), don't live with us and therefore don't follow our house rules (because sadly, DH doesn't enforce them and even when he tries, you can't make a kid eat beans when he doesn't have to eat them at mom's or have major issues when you want to take away the video games, ipad, cell phone because they don't have to at mom's.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends sometimes on context too. My DH has 2 half brothers--he generally refers to them as his brothers, but will sometimes refer to them as his half-brothers to kind of clarify the situation as needed.

My DDs all refer to each other as sisters (they're half-siblings). I do not think I would be fine with my DH calling my older dd his daughter though--it would just be weird, even though she lives with us. She has a dad that is active in her life.

Absolutely depends on context.

My best friend has half-siblings by her mom and her dad. Her half-brother (through her mom) is 4yrs older and they were raised together, they refer to each other as brother/sister. Her half-siblings through her dad were in their 20s and already had kids of their own by the time she was born, they refer to each other as half-siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I would go apish*t if I got divorced and my husband's new wife introduced my child as her child. I am sure that says nothing good about me.

It says terrible things about you and lovely things about the stepmother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I would go apish*t if I got divorced and my husband's new wife introduced my child as her child. I am sure that says nothing good about me.

Uuum, wrong thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends sometimes on context too. My DH has 2 half brothers--he generally refers to them as his brothers, but will sometimes refer to them as his half-brothers to kind of clarify the situation as needed.

My DDs all refer to each other as sisters (they're half-siblings). I do not think I would be fine with my DH calling my older dd his daughter though--it would just be weird, even though she lives with us. She has a dad that is active in her life.

Absolutely depends on context.

My best friend has half-siblings by her mom and her dad. Her half-brother (through her mom) is 4yrs older and they were raised together, they refer to each other as brother/sister. Her half-siblings through her dad were in their 20s and already had kids of their own by the time she was born, they refer to each other as half-siblings.

Agree. My BIL's father had an long term affair when his kids were in college and young adults. His parents eventually divorced and he remarried the shrew. And yes, she is shrew of the variety of calling the home to ask for him in the middle of Christmas with the kids, etc. A real peach.

They refer to her children, also young adults when the affair transpired, as A--'s kids.

They are not step sibling, and definitely not siblings. Just the kids of the woman their dad had an affair with and married.

[Anonymous]

We're all brother and sister unless it comes to medical issues.

[Anonymous]

I call my step siblings just that. We get along well, but their mom/my dad didn't start dating till we were almost in HS and didn't get married until we were in college, so we never lived in the same house. They have half sisters thru their dad and call them sisters. They spent years living together, knew them since they were born etc. so of course they are much closer to them than they are to someone they met at 13. That said, when we are together for holidays, my dad and step mom introduce us all as 'our kids,' they don't list out his and hers.