Left babysitting our newphew while family in town

[Anonymous]

What's the chance that your mom can move in with your brother and his family? Maybe she needs a change of scenery, maybe you need a new house that has no room for her. Say, a two bedroom condo with rooms only for your and your DH and room for your baby. No room for mom. Or you get a new house with three bedrooms and the third is your home office. Again, no room for mom. Why can't she live with him? If she likes inviting them over so much, she should live with them. They can all live happily together, no?

[Anonymous]

I don't speak to my family. Know why ? Because I live in a different state and they too tried to use my house as a free vacation.

[Anonymous]

I would have told them from the beginning, "I will not babysit witb your child. Period. End of discussion. Take care of your kid because I will not." Even a fool should get this mrssage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you telling me your mother invited your brother and SIL to your house without your permission?

BACKBONE. Own this.

The conversation went quite a bit like this:

(After many genuine spurts of crying from missing my nephew)
MOM: "I'd like your nephew to stay with us for a week or two over the summer."
ME: "That sounds like a great idea."
(invitation extended to come visit)

(months later, after watching my mom overspend left and right)
MOM: "It looks like I can't afford the trip back until a month later. That is, unless you can loan me the money to go. You don't have to worry about him. I will take care of him."
ME: "A month, fine. Whatever." (not wanting to be out a ton of money so that she could drive her home)

(six weeks ago)
MOM: Your brother and SIL are dropping him off. I told them they could stay here for a couple of days. If that's not okay, let me know."
ME: Mmmmmhmmmm.

(a month ago)
MOM: Your brother and SIL are coming for July 4th. They are staying from Wednesday to Monday. If that's not okay, let me know. I'll feed them, entertain them, you don't have to worry about them at all."
ME: "Mmmmmhmmmm."

(last week)
MOM: "I can't him back home unless I borrow your car or you rent me one."
ME: "Mmmmmmhmmmmm. You can borrow my car."

(yesterday)
MOM: "I'm going to need you to front me some money, so that I can take him home. You're still renting me a car, right?"
ME: "You're borrowing my car, and that's fine. I can give you money for gas."

And, yes. I am my mother's doormat. Since I am paying for the return trip anyway, I should talk to her about cutting it short.

[Anonymous]

I did not read the thread about your mother. However, from your conversation with her, she is seriously overstepping boundaries and so is your brother, AND YOU ARE LETTING THEM DO SO.

Pay for your mother to go home sooner rather than later. Do not invite her again. When you invite your brother and SIL again, make it clear that you will not babysit your beloved nephew.

And most importantly, work out with yourself (and possibly the help of a therapist) why you are the doormat and how you can change.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you wake your brother up and tell him his son needed him?

[Anonymous]

Tell the parents to pick up their heathen child and be done with it. Tell your mother no more invitations for family visiting as you have enough on your plate. Tell mom if she wants to visit her grandson, have the parents pay for a bus ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you wake your brother up and tell him his son needed him?

In hindsight, I should have done that. It was a combination of the expectation that he'd get up soon (what kind of 30 year old with a kid sleeps that late?) and just getting caught up in our routine. Breakfast, play, walk, nap, lunch, play, etc. My nephew went down to check on him at one point, I think two times, and he said that he was getting up, but he didn't materialize for hours later.

I will certainly tell him, or anyone, to come take care of his kid next time.

[Anonymous]

You enjoy playing martyr...that's why you let everyone walk over you. You don't want anyone's advice because if you actually stood up for yourself or said no, your martyr identity would be ruined and you wouldn't know how to feel good about yourself.

[Anonymous]

1. I'd have said to the boy, "Honey, if you're hungry, go wake up your dad and ask him to put together food for you."

2. I'd have woken up my brother and said, "I have PT to do with the baby and am taking her to [wherever] for that, so you and Nephew are on your own. Bye!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you telling me your mother invited your brother and SIL to your house without your permission?

BACKBONE. Own this.

The conversation went quite a bit like this:

(After many genuine spurts of crying from missing my nephew)
MOM: "I'd like your nephew to stay with us for a week or two over the summer."
ME: "That sounds like a great idea, but lets talk about how it's going to work first."
(invitation extended to come visit)

(months later, after watching my mom overspend left and right)
MOM: "It looks like I can't afford the trip back until a month later. That is, unless you can loan me the money to go. You don't have to worry about him. I will take care of him."
ME: " Well then I guess we'll have to postpone the trip until the fall when the fare can be covered." (not wanting to be out a ton of money so that she could drive her home)

(six weeks ago)
MOM: Your brother and SIL are dropping him off. I told them they could stay here for a couple of days. If that's not okay, let me know."
ME: Mom, that's not OK with me. You need to ask me first. Please let them know that it will not work for our family - and don't you dare blame it on me .

(a month ago)
MOM: Your brother and SIL are coming for July 4th. They are staying from Wednesday to Monday. If that's not okay, let me know. I'll feed them, entertain them, you don't have to worry about them at all."
ME: Now irrelevant -the invite no longer stands

(last week)
MOM: "I can't him back home unless I borrow your car or you rent me one."
ME: " Luckily we already thought of this when we planned this six weeks ago."

(yesterday)
MOM: "I'm going to need you to front me some money, so that I can take him home. You're still renting me a car, right?"
ME: " Next summer you can go to visit them. Here's a bus schedule."

And, yes. I am my mother's doormat. Since I am paying for the return trip anyway, I should talk to her about cutting it short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you wake your brother up and tell him his son needed him?

+1 You weren't left alone with your nephew. You chose not to go downstairs and wake up your brother or tell someone who was lounging around to take your nephew away from you and the baby. Take control of your own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
. I came out of the bathroom to find him jettisoning her in her walker away from him with his feet. Apparently, DH said he caught him doing this earlier and said to stop it. .

So the kid sat in the babys walker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I'd have said to the boy, "Honey, if you're hungry, go wake up your dad and ask him to put together food for you."

2. I'd have woken up my brother and said, "I have PT to do with the baby and am taking her to [wherever] for that, so you and Nephew are on your own. Bye!"

Exactly! I don't understand after the first day this happened you didn't ask who was going to take care of the 6 yo the next day?

But, I also think you're a drama queen if you think taking care of a 6 yo is that hard. I had three kids in three years (the oldest is 10) and two of them have SNs. I know how hard it is to have a high demand infant but, frankly, a 6 yo isn't that hard. If nothing else, you turn on the TV, get a movie and make some Mac N Cheese out of a box. And, get some Oreos and Cheese Puffs. That'll keep him happy,.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You enjoy playing martyr...that's why you let everyone walk over you. You don't want anyone's advice because if you actually stood up for yourself or said no, your martyr identity would be ruined and you wouldn't know how to feel good about yourself.

Ding ding ding, winner winner chicken dinner.

I think this thread is a troll, fake, or major exaggeration. I don't believe these events happened, no way does someone sleep until 4pm or does someone put up with this crap.