how are things between your republican friends/family

[Anonymous]

You know, I think I'd try to let all this go. Stop creating drama, or at least engaging in it. My family are Republicans who voted for McCain and we don't have any drama or anger or "hate" around this. We simply vote differently. Just give people time and space and let it go. Labeling anyone racist is not helpful in the grand scheme of things. Neither is gloating, for that matter. We won. Now there's a lot of work to do. End of story. End of drama.

[Anonymous]

how am i creating drama when I go to my family's house and my grandparents start spouting off against black people in front of my kids, and I sit there and cover their ears and try to ignore their words? I guess I will not be going there for awhile to avoid the drama. Sorry I ever expressed my frustrations here...won't happen again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how am i creating drama when I go to my family's house and my grandparents start spouting off against black people in front of my kids, and I sit there and cover their ears and try to ignore their words? I guess I will not be going there for awhile to avoid the drama. Sorry I ever expressed my frustrations here...won't happen again!

This has happened since Tuesday night? You have your answer: Don't go there for awhile. Disengage. Set a boundary. You can try going there and at the first sign of racism saying very calmly, "I won't expose my kids to this. If you're not able to stop, I'll have to take the children and leave." Then follow through. If you feel that's too confrontational, then just don't go over there for awhile. I have a lot of racists in my family and my husband's. I have only had to set this boundary once, years ago. They've not said a racist word in front of me since. I'm not going to change them, but I can't set a boundary in regard to what they say in front of my children. You can do the same. Try it. I promise, it's empowering and it's easier than you think. You just have to remain very calm and matter of fact.

[Anonymous]

My father voted for McCain because he still believes that hawkish tendencies are good for Israel, and my mother voted for McCain-- the first Republican she has ever voted for-- because she is bitter about Hillary Clinton and because SHE ADMITS that Obama's middle name and willingness to even have a conversation with a highly-regarded Palestinian-American scholar (whose views he disagrees with) disqualified him as a president in her eyes. For her, anyone within three degrees of separation of Muslims or Arabs is the enemy, and she was explicit about it. She bought every slander hook, line, and sinker because she wanted to hate him and because she prefers sensational rumors over thought.

To her, I have said: 'I'm glad that your guy lost because your way of thinking poisons my daughter's world."

To him, I have said: "I see where you are coming from, but I believe that my guy will ultimately bring more peace to the world by his approach, and that your policy goals will be better served with him as president."

Honest political debate has always been okay with me and him.

Her views are beneath contempt, and I don't see any need to be sensitive to anything so vile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was always nice before the whole election, but now, her true racist colors are showing and has a huge chip on her shoulder toward DH and other colleagues.

\

I'm sorry OP, maybe you did not mean this the way it sounds, but are you saying that some who is not happy with the outcome of the election (48% of the country) is by definition racist? That is insulting and absurd! Perhaps she doesn't appreciate the winners (by your own admission) gloating around the office 8 hours a day - did that ever occur to you? Gloating is not a positive character trait!

[Anonymous]

OP Here. Let me clarify.

I am not saying that a McCain supporter is automatically racist. I NEVER SAID THAT. I even know a few black republicans who voted McCain (yes I do!). This girl who works in my HUSBAND's office, has been saying things about black people IN the office. She says she will not bow down to a black president, and that she wants to puke everytime she sees him. Does this mean that ALL Republicans are this way. NO! This girl is a racist republican. Let me clarify...THIS GIRL, NOT ALL REPs, is a racist.

SECOND, maybe gloating is the wrong word. I only rejoiced, celebrated, acted happy that Obama won in the presence of MY colleagues, who are all Obama supporters. We did not offend anyone amongst ourselves.

THIRD, my family, half of whom is NOT white, have been racist all their lives, but have been VERY vocal about it the past few month, and even more so now since Obama won.

That is my scenario.

[Anonymous]

OP, to answer your actual question I am avoiding my step dad because he HATES liberals, HATES Obama, and frankly, as a conservative christian patriarchal republican chauvanist, hates ME too! I am going to let him lick his wounds for a while before I show my face.

Also DC has been told never to say the word "Obama" in his presence!!!

[Anonymous]

As a McCain supporter myself and dedicated campaign volunteer, my Obama supporting friends and family often judged me harshly. Now with the election over, I have gone out of my way to send congratulatory messages and make phone calls to them. They are all pleasantly surprised and say they hadn't wanted to contact me because they thought I would be "angry" over the results. While I am disappointed, I bear them or our President-elect no ill-will. I only want what is best for this country. I have many reservations and concerns about Obama, but in the end I hope that -I- am the one who is wrong. I want things to go well in the next 4 years and not to be in the position to say, I told you so. I remain cautiously optimistic and try to bend over backwards not to create any tension with those on the other side of the aisle. Often times, I have not been treated that way in return.

Regarding the issue of race - during the course of this election, I have experienced a sort of reverse discrimination, so to speak. Just because I am white and voted for the white guy, I have often been treated like a racist which couldn’t be further from the truth. The issue of race had NOTHING to do with my vote in the least, but that is often the assumption. I find that is our judgments of others that often cause the most tension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus Christ where did I say every Rep is a racist. I know that is not true. I am speaking on my OWN experiences. YES there are racists in my family, that come out and blatantly say it to my face, to my children. SO yes my grandparents are racist, my parents are not. The girl at work said she will never bow down to a black president and that she wants to throw up everytime she sees him. That sounds racist to me. Maybe you are not racist but the many reps around me are...sorry, it's the truth!

You are the one making insinuations and turning my words into generalizations. FYI I am an Independent and I am mixed race...I am purely speaking of MY OWN experiences with reps around me....some are racist and some are not. I am trying to deal with them in a nice manner, but it is hard!

bow down. I would not bow down to the pope. Do you expect her to do so. He is a man, voted in by people. Not handed down by the grace of God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a McCain supporter myself and dedicated campaign volunteer, my Obama supporting friends and family often judged me harshly. Now with the election over, I have gone out of my way to send congratulatory messages and make phone calls to them. They are all pleasantly surprised and say they hadn't wanted to contact me because they thought I would be "angry" over the results. While I am disappointed, I bear them or our President-elect no ill-will. I only want what is best for this country. I have many reservations and concerns about Obama, but in the end I hope that -I- am the one who is wrong. I want things to go well in the next 4 years and not to be in the position to say, I told you so. I remain cautiously optimistic and try to bend over backwards not to create any tension with those on the other side of the aisle. Often times, I have not been treated that way in return.

Regarding the issue of race - during the course of this election, I have experienced a sort of reverse discrimination, so to speak. Just because I am white and voted for the white guy, I have often been treated like a racist which couldn’t be further from the truth. The issue of race had NOTHING to do with my vote in the least, but that is often the assumption. I find that is our judgments of others that often cause the most tension.

Well said and I totally agree. I love my country, my country chose "that guy" , and I too am hoping for the best. The only difference between myself and this poster is that I was unable to volunteer because if it became known I supported McCain my livelihood would be negatively impacted, something I could not afford. Sad, isn't it? To paraphrase MLK, I long for a day when people are judged by the content of their character, not by their political party affiliation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus Christ where did I say every Rep is a racist. I know that is not true. I am speaking on my OWN experiences. YES there are racists in my family, that come out and blatantly say it to my face, to my children. SO yes my grandparents are racist, my parents are not. The girl at work said she will never bow down to a black president and that she wants to throw up everytime she sees him. That sounds racist to me. Maybe you are not racist but the many reps around me are...sorry, it's the truth!

You are the one making insinuations and turning my words into generalizations. FYI I am an Independent and I am mixed race...I am purely speaking of MY OWN experiences with reps around me....some are racist and some are not. I am trying to deal with them in a nice manner, but it is hard!

bow down. I would not bow down to the pope. Do you expect her to do so. He is a man, voted in by people. Not handed down by the grace of God.

Did I say Obama was handed down from God? I don't expect her to bow down to anyone (her words, not mine), but it would be nice if the girl could show some respect at the very least. Maybe she thinks that because there aren't any black people in my husband's office she can say these things. I did leave out the fact that she has used the "N" word several times, but I didn't even want to bring that up here. I am sorry if my anti-racist frustrations insinuate that all McCainers are racists. That was not my intention for the millionth time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father voted for McCain because he still believes that hawkish tendencies are good for Israel, and my mother voted for McCain-- the first Republican she has ever voted for-- because she is bitter about Hillary Clinton and because SHE ADMITS that Obama's middle name and willingness to even have a conversation with a highly-regarded Palestinian-American scholar (whose views he disagrees with) disqualified him as a president in her eyes. For her, anyone within three degrees of separation of Muslims or Arabs is the enemy, and she was explicit about it. She bought every slander hook, line, and sinker because she wanted to hate him and because she prefers sensational rumors over thought.

To her, I have said: 'I'm glad that your guy lost because your way of thinking poisons my daughter's world."

To him, I have said: "I see where you are coming from, but I believe that my guy will ultimately bring more peace to the world by his approach, and that your policy goals will be better served with him as president."

Honest political debate has always been okay with me and him.

Her views are beneath contempt, and I don't see any need to be sensitive to anything so vile.

Aren't they won over by Rahm Emmanuel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father voted for McCain because he still believes that hawkish tendencies are good for Israel, and my mother voted for McCain-- the first Republican she has ever voted for-- because she is bitter about Hillary Clinton and because SHE ADMITS that Obama's middle name and willingness to even have a conversation with a highly-regarded Palestinian-American scholar (whose views he disagrees with) disqualified him as a president in her eyes. For her, anyone within three degrees of separation of Muslims or Arabs is the enemy, and she was explicit about it. She bought every slander hook, line, and sinker because she wanted to hate him and because she prefers sensational rumors over thought.

To her, I have said: 'I'm glad that your guy lost because your way of thinking poisons my daughter's world."

To him, I have said: "I see where you are coming from, but I believe that my guy will ultimately bring more peace to the world by his approach, and that your policy goals will be better served with him as president."

Honest political debate has always been okay with me and him.

Her views are beneath contempt, and I don't see any need to be sensitive to anything so vile.

Aren't they won over by Rahm Emmanuel?

Bigotry is immune to reason.

[Anonymous]

To respond to OP, we have a large Thanksgiving gathering for which my sister, the hostess, has requested that we refrain from political discussion. She knows that the rest of the family voted for Obama and that she and her husband will be in the minority. I am pissed to have a gag rule imposed for the simple reason that I am THANKFUL about the election results on SOOOOO many levels -- Democrat, person of color, etc. Now we are expected to spend the day (and most of two days for most of us) discussing ... football? ...the weather? ...the stock market (without getting "political")? OH I guess we could discuss her dog all day? I am already totally bored. And whatever will I do if my son (age 5) decides to practice writing his "OBAMA-BIDEN" campaign signs?

BYT, I can easily see several "camps" of natural McCain supporters that are not racist. If you are anti-abortion and that is the single greatest issue, you can legitimately be pro-McCain but not racist. There are also the George Will-type true cultural conservative and thus a Republican. Others are simply high-income and rapidly anti-tax, and such voters would be natural McCain supporters. And then there are the pro-gun types. Sorry if I missed other groups...I am sure they are out there. I would like to consider my sister and brother-in-law as not racist. Since they are a high-income couple that moan and groan over every penny of taxes they have to pay, and also own guns, I choose to put them in those camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father voted for McCain because he still believes that hawkish tendencies are good for Israel, and my mother voted for McCain-- the first Republican she has ever voted for-- because she is bitter about Hillary Clinton and because SHE ADMITS that Obama's middle name and willingness to even have a conversation with a highly-regarded Palestinian-American scholar (whose views he disagrees with) disqualified him as a president in her eyes. For her, anyone within three degrees of separation of Muslims or Arabs is the enemy, and she was explicit about it. She bought every slander hook, line, and sinker because she wanted to hate him and because she prefers sensational rumors over thought.

To her, I have said: 'I'm glad that your guy lost because your way of thinking poisons my daughter's world."

To him, I have said: "I see where you are coming from, but I believe that my guy will ultimately bring more peace to the world by his approach, and that your policy goals will be better served with him as president."

Honest political debate has always been okay with me and him.

Her views are beneath contempt, and I don't see any need to be sensitive to anything so vile.

Not trying to kiss up here (It's anonymous after all!) but you are seriously a heroic sounding person. Posts as succinctly crafted as the above, make reading this board very uplifting. I need to have a conversation like the one you describe above with my mother. I really have a hard time shielding our kids from some of her particularly abrasive opinions. Our kids are biracial. Jewish and black. Oy.