What would you do?

[Anonymous]

They forgot.

[Anonymous]

Missing info here. OP, give us the rest of the story. Are these otherwise kind and fair grandparents that all of a sudden decided to toss one grand kid a few grand? Are there other grandchildren?

Be strait with us, OP. Was there family drama 3 years ago as people weren't speaking but now thins are fine? Were things fine 3 years ago but this year you had a huge fight and they didn't come to the graduation ceremony? Was one kid pregnant or in rehab before graduating?

If NOTHING else is out of the ordinary, for Christ sake just ask them about it. If they are close enough to gift a few grand, I'm sure there is a polite and gracious way to thank them for the gift but let them know you were curious as to why the gift was only directed to one kid.

Which kid got the gift? The recent grad or the 3 years ago grad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They forgot.

Either that, or the financial situation changed. You should (nicely) ask them. My crazy parents had the most bizarre reasons why they would favor one over the other. A real test of self control!

[Anonymous]

OP here: No there is a past history with this type of favortism, but this is the most egregious so far. The check went to the first graduate and no in all honesty there was no difference in their behavior. The grandparents financial situation has not changed.

[Anonymous]

Then I'd definitely say something. That is really shitty!

[Anonymous]

They probably forgot what they did or the check is coming. Find a polite way to mention it.

Btw my boss forgets stuff all the time, even assigning same major project to 2 different people. And she's only 50 yo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: No there is a past history with this type of favortism, but this is the most egregious so far. The check went to the first graduate and no in all honesty there was no difference in their behavior. The grandparents financial situation has not changed.

Maybe there is difference in their gender or personality.
I can imagine in laws from a traditional culture favoring the older son and not the younger daughter, especially when it comes to their education.
I don't know what can be done about it.

[Anonymous]

I would say something, but not demand the gift. But if this has been going on for a long time, I would have said something earlier.

Is it a cultural, boy vs girl thing? I can imagine my grandparents giving me money because a man has to get an education and then a good job so that he can take care of a family. while giving my sister nothing because she would get married and not have to provide for a family. Lucky for us, I guess, no one in my family had any money to give, so crisis averted

[Anonymous]

My grandfather left me ALL of his money and his farm. I had 20 cousins and several aunts and uncles who could have received a portion. His reasoning in his will: He was proud of how I was leading my life and trusted that I would protect and maintain the farm and put the money to good use. My family was resentful, but I have done exactly what was expected with the inheritance. There was no prior indication of favoritism or anything before he passed.

[Anonymous]

My FIL gives my husband's niece $$ for her b-day, but nothing to my stepdaughter. Unfair? No. My DSD's cousin wires thank you notes, calls her grandpa often, and talks to him when she visits. DSD has not written a thank you note since I've known her. I don't blame FIL for cutting her off.

Could it be anything like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably forgot what they did or the check is coming. Find a polite way to mention it.

Btw my boss forgets stuff all the time, even assigning same major project to 2 different people. And she's only 50 yo!

+1 They forgot what they sent the other kid or something. My InLaws are like this now. FIL thinks $25 is a huge amount of $, only because he cannot remember that it is not 1950 anymore.