What was your ADHD/ADD kid like as a 3 1/2 year-old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:25 here. DS is not diagnosed, but we have a series of evaluations coming up this and next month. My suspicions are based on behavior and experience (other family members, sibling). In fact, most doctors will not diagnose ADHD until age 5--but what I'm mostly interested in is getting a professional evaluation to help us with whatever intervention and parenting strategies we need and information for school. DS starts a public charter school this fall, which should give us more information, and hopefully we will have a good experience with the teachers and their special ed program. On the one hand, DS is less likely to act up if he is engaged in something he likes to do, so if school is fun and structured it may be good for him, on the other he is more likely to act up in groups, and especially in groups of boys. His ideal class would be a handful of 4 year old girls!

I have one other observation though, which I wanted to run by other parents. We do not use violent talk in the house (or are violent!) and are careful with what DS is exposed to, but sometimes he says things, in "play," like "I"M going to cut you!" "I"m going to smash you." We tell his this talk is hurtful and wrong, but are kind of at a loss as to where he's getting it and what's behind it. I think (because he is not really aggressive) that it is about getting a reaction, which seems to be at the root of a lot of behavior, but it is worrisome.

Our son does a lot of that kind of talk too, and we are also concerned. He can't express why he says it or the feelings behind it, and he does get aggressive when he is challenged or disciplined for it. I don't know if this is typical of ADHD or not. Good luck with your evaluations.

[Anonymous]

Constant motion and constant talking. DD's talking is almost compulsive. She can control herself around other kids and is very socially aware which amazes me but her on-going talking at home drives us all crazy. She is always moving. When she stands, she bounces. She can not sit in a chair. She climbs everything but has amazing balance so no injuries. She also isn't sensitive to injuries. She doesn't walk anywhere she runs. If she runs into something, it doesn't phase her. She can not follow directions. It isn't an issue of not wanting to do something she just can not remember two directions in a row. You can't tell her to put her shoes and socks on. She'll run off, get one or the other, drop them and go off and do something else.

[Anonymous]

I have a nine year old diagnosed with ADHD - hyperactive and two younger kids who are very active too.

The oldest one, at 3, was unable to sit and eat a meal for more than 5 minutes. We had to keep him in a high chair and have him watch TV while eating in order for him to eat a decent meal. Now he can do this, at 9.

One of the younger ones gets extremely hyper at night when tired. He acts like he's drunk. He's now 5 - but this has been true for years.

The other younger one is really awful at restaurants with impulse control. We don't eat out much. It usually isn't something that strangers notice much or comment on, but we gets lots of parenting "help" from our extended family.

Our oldest wasn't evaluated until second grade, slightly before his 8th birthday. I guess I do wish we'd done it sooner, but we really didn't know what was going on. The younger two are still doing very well in school, but their teachers are aware of our oldest son's diagnosis. I think we will act sooner with them if need be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a nine year old diagnosed with ADHD - hyperactive and two younger kids who are very active too.

The oldest one, at 3, was unable to sit and eat a meal for more than 5 minutes. We had to keep him in a high chair and have him watch TV while eating in order for him to eat a decent meal. Now he can do this, at 9.

One of the younger ones gets extremely hyper at night when tired. He acts like he's drunk. He's now 5 - but this has been true for years.

The other younger one is really awful at restaurants with impulse control. We don't eat out much. It usually isn't something that strangers notice much or comment on, but we gets lots of parenting "help" from our extended family.

Our oldest wasn't evaluated until second grade, slightly before his 8th birthday. I guess I do wish we'd done it sooner, but we really didn't know what was going on. The younger two are still doing very well in school, but their teachers are aware of our oldest son's diagnosis. I think we will act sooner with them if need be.

The oldest also has the near constant talking, although I kind of have that too - strangely we get along really well - because we chatter so much (but probably drive other peopel crazy).

[Anonymous]

OP- Plenty of little boys engage in that kind of talk. It isn't unusual. Read The Way of Boys for more info about boys.

[Anonymous]

DD had a hard time following directions. When kids would be doing songs and movement, she would often get distracted by other things in the room and not follow along. Always had a hard time sitting still and concentrating on anything, could not listen to stories well, etc. It got somewhat better this past year even without meds (first grade) and we just started meds. Some improvement, but it's going to be hard to tell if it's the right dose/med until next year.

[Anonymous]

Could. Not. Keep. His. Hands. To. Himself. EVER. Diagnosed at 5, meds at 7 (off meds for this summer). Still craves physical touch, though he seems to have finally slowed down on the physical tugging, pulling, and playful pushing of his peers (and two younger siblings)... I am finally - FINALLY - able to enjoy watching him play at the playground without having to worry about his aggressiveness, though there are still relapses. So frustrating, but he's an awesomely empathetic little boy who has a heart of gold.

[Anonymous]

OP, please read Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax before having your son diagnosed. That book changed our life!!!

My DS was like (and sometimes still is like) many of the kids described here- has to touch everything, gets extra-hyper when tired, constantly moves, won't sit still. Yet, we have not had him evaluated because he's actually doing really well in school and we are opposed to medication unless it's absolutely necessary (and if he were falling behind in school, I'd think it's necessary). I truly think you would be doing your 3.5 y/o a huge disservice to have him labeled at this point in his life. And I think you'd be making a big mistake to medicate him at 3.5 too.

And if your son isn't doing well in his charter, I'd suggest looking at other schools. If a school can't handle a hyperactive 3.5 y/o boy, then it's not the right fit for that child. There are plenty of schools where he'd do just fine.

[Anonymous]

Mine came across as smart and talkative at that age. The only thing unusual about him was how well he articulated his words beginning as a young toddler and how large his vocabulary was. He was not hyperactive or rude. He was happy, playful, and again, talked a lot. Talked too much maybe. He still is/does. We didn't see problems until he reached first grade and was forced to spend more time sitting and listening and following directions in school and when social relationships got more complicated. It became apparent that he struggled with managing his frustration and was sometimes rude to his friends and teachers, in a way that was intended to by mean, but made clear that he didn't understand the impact of his words. Frankly, I found the problems he started having surprising. But he is still very happy and confident and playful, and we are working hard at developing the weak areas, so that is the good news.