Would you invite Inlaws to the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has pretty much left this at my discretion and he realizes how she is. He is supportive either way. I feel like it would make him happy to invite his family & I'm sure she'd jump at the chance but I would be miserable. She is the type of person to turn down an invitation only to invite herself the next weekend fully expecting to be accommodated. They just sit on the couch and watch tv. Not interactive at all. They'll pose for pictures that they keep to themselves and...that's about it. Meanwhile, they'll expect us to entertain and cook while they criticize everything...I can hear it already.

OP are you one those people that likes to whine and wallow in drama? Because you just posted all this negative stuff about your MIL and said your husband was supportive of NOT inviting her. Yet in the same breath, you're saying that you think he would be happy if you invited MIL. How about taking responsibility for your own feelings and letting your husband do the same? Why do you need to "manage" his feelings? If he wanted to have his MIL there, he would say so.

Huh? Are you having reading comprehension issues? Where did I say he is against her coming? He supports MY decision either way. I'm sure and know he would "like" her to come...but we are both unsure of how it might turn out. He had left the decision up to me. "All this negative stuff" actually happened. I was there. I'm not managing anything but a birthday party. If my mother could come I would want her to-just trying to put myself in her shoes(MIL) even if she is crazy. You post a question in the form of an accusation....not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child turning? Do they want her there?

He is not yet able to make that decision cognitively. I don't know what DS thinks about her.

[Anonymous]

If the only person having her there will benefit is her, then no. If it will benefit other people as well (but maybe not you), then yes.

[Anonymous]

PP, as I said before it would benefit my DH. Really just him. My DS would be benevolent and never sees her much so I would like her to see him. That said, she is horrible with him in terms of interacting and trying to discipline my child for me. She is a no boundaries kind of person unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I would nix this shit in the bud and never invite MIL to any event I am hosting.

DH can always visit her.

[Anonymous]

DH is firm about visiting as a family (we all go). Honestly, I'd rather stay at home. They can visit crazy at their house. Problem is, there's no way to prevent her from visiting our house. I can't simply tell DH no, his mother can't visit. Anyway thank you for your comments so far, I'm leaning towards no but she just sent DS a birthday gift and now DH thinks I should invite her. Its funny- they've never needed an invite to anything before. They just show up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is firm about visiting as a family (we all go). Honestly, I'd rather stay at home. They can visit crazy at their house. Problem is, there's no way to prevent her from visiting our house. I can't simply tell DH no, his mother can't visit. Anyway thank you for your comments so far, I'm leaning towards no but she just sent DS a birthday gift and now DH thinks I should invite her. Its funny- they've never needed an invite to anything before. They just show up.

There's a reason people walk all over doormats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is firm about visiting as a family (we all go). Honestly, I'd rather stay at home. They can visit crazy at their house. Problem is, there's no way to prevent her from visiting our house. I can't simply tell DH no, his mother can't visit. Anyway thank you for your comments so far, I'm leaning towards no but she just sent DS a birthday gift and now DH thinks I should invite her. Its funny- they've never needed an invite to anything before. They just show up.

There's a reason people walk all over doormats.

Go on, I'm listening since you seem to know me so well.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I should just clarify that they would like to just show up. That has never happened. I'm not the doormat PP would like to believe I am.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't invite them. Plan to meet them out for lunch the following weekend half-way.

[Anonymous]

Out of guilt from DH, I invited them
Hopefully, they will be too busy to come or realize I sent it out of formality and skip it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Out of guilt from DH, I invited them
Hopefully, they will be too busy to come or realize I sent it out of formality and skip it!

Hope is not a plan, Ms. Pushover.

[Anonymous]

Awww how sweet and helpful. I suppose you cut family out of your events all the time hence the bitterness. Don't project your crazy.

[Anonymous]

No. Dont invite her to the party. Invite her to the house like when no one else is there.

[Anonymous]

Too late now... She's usually well-behaved around others or a crowd. Practically mute unless someone approaches her with a question. She will know nobody at this party. Perfect for me. She'll get to visit and she's out of my hair for an entire day. win win. I can avoid her like the plague. If she were on her own visit she'd be following me around interrogating me and trying to get personal information. She is horrendous solo, that's when she attacks. Irrational strategy? Maybe...but it's better than leaving the house and running from it.