S/O Trusting your parents with your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious...are there any parents out there that actually trust their parents or in-laws to babysit, vacation, or otherwise take care of their kids for a short or extended period of time?
Yes, I know folks who have irresponsible, untrustworthy parents ...but are there more of those these days than when I was growing up (i'm in my 40's)
Maybe it's just this board that seems to speak to a proliferation of parents described as crazy and/or controlling and not fit for childcare.
Or is it this generation that is more controlling than our parents were and hesitant to put some slack in the apron strings??

Um, they raised three of us. Yes, I trust them. Jesus, what a stupid fucking question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I trust my in-laws. I do not trust my parents. They were abusive to us kids growing up, and they have a dysfunctional relationship with each other. Plus, they aren't really that interested in my children.

I don't trust my parents for this reason (don't trust dad not to lose it, don't trust mom to protect anyone from that). I also don't trust MIL because she has an unmedicated (diagnosed, off and on meds for decades) anxiety disorder and is a functional alcoholic, so I do not trust her to act quickly and correctly in the case of a true emergency.

Not all of us come from stable families and happy homes, and some of what we're providing for our children is the judgment that our own parents didn't show regarding who is a safe and reliable caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trust my in-laws. I do not trust my parents. They were abusive to us kids growing up, and they have a dysfunctional relationship with each other. Plus, they aren't really that interested in my children.

I don't trust my parents for this reason (don't trust dad not to lose it, don't trust mom to protect anyone from that). I also don't trust MIL because she has an unmedicated (diagnosed, off and on meds for decades) anxiety disorder and is a functional alcoholic, so I do not trust her to act quickly and correctly in the case of a true emergency.

Not all of us come from stable families and happy homes, and some of what we're providing for our children is the judgment that our own parents didn't show regarding who is a safe and reliable caregiver.

Should add that DH agrees with all of this and there is no drama between us about it. This is the reality of our parents, we've known and lived with it for decades.

[Anonymous]

I trust my mother 100%. She is even more paranoid then I am when it comes to their safety, However, she is getting old and I am just so afraid that if something happens to her while my kids are in her care, what would they do? It's just this nagging thought in the back of my head which keeps from leaving them for extended period of time. Quick stops at grocery store or a night out for dinner is a different story however.

My in laws on the other hand are totally incompetent of taking care of my kids. I mean dont get me wrong. They are wonderful grandparents and terrific in-laws but they are very irresponsible and careless when it comes to safety issues.

[Anonymous]

I completely trust my parents and my in-laws, both of my sisters and their husbands, my aunts and uncles,....everybody in both of our families. We have a large gap between our oldest and our youngest. My 12 year old leaves in a few days to spend a week with his 22 year old brother during the college summer break. He is in school about 900 miles away. I'll miss him like crazy, but have complete confidence in his brother's ability to keep him safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just curious...are there any parents out there that actually trust their parents or in-laws to babysit, vacation, or otherwise take care of their kids for a short or extended period of time?
Yes, I know folks who have irresponsible, untrustworthy parents ...but are there more of those these days than when I was growing up (i'm in my 40's)
Maybe it's just this board that seems to speak to a proliferation of parents described as crazy and/or controlling and not fit for childcare.
Or is it this generation that is more controlling than our parents were and hesitant to put some slack in the apron strings??

Um, they raised three of us. Yes, I trust them. Jesus, what a stupid fucking question.

Judging by your nastiness and foul mouth, I'd say your parents did a great job raising you.

[Anonymous]

I think one difference between today and when we were kids is the age of the grandparents. We waited longer to have kids. My in-laws were close to 70 when DD was born and my FIL was already suffering from dementia.

I completely trust my parents with DD. We have had them babysit while we went out of town for weddings, etc, since DD was an infant.

I don't trust my MIL to drive DD anywhere. Even my our teenaged nieces and nephews have noticed she just isn't a very safe driver anymore. And driving in DC would simply be too much. So no extended care from her. But if she's visiting, we are fine with her "sitting" for the evening while we go out. And now that DD is older, they are OK in museums and such together.

[Anonymous]

Interesting question.

I mostly trust my parents with my kids. They would never intentionally harm my kids, BUT one of my kids has severe food allergies and I don't quite trust 100% that my parents read and understand labels the way I do. There have been a few times my mom wanted to give my son something that was made on shared equipment with nuts because "if he reacts, we'll know there was nuts in it." Um, no. I don't trust them to buy food and give it to him. Also, in the past, my dad had a drinking problem and was drinking during the day. He also was driving my kids around and while he swore that he never drank on the days he drove them, I don't trust him completely either. (I found out about this after the fact- would never let him have driven my kids otherwise).

I do not trust my MIL to watch the kids, and neither does my husband. She is still young (early 60s) but has the health of a 90 year old and also wouldn't hesitate to slap or smack them if they acted up, which is not how we discipline.

[Anonymous]

My ILs are DS's main babysitters. They take great care of him, and it lets me and DH go on occasional dates. They have done a few overnighters with DS (he's 2.5 yo) as well. My parents are great, but they live too far away to babysit. My sister recently babysat DS for the first time, and they both had a great time.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely trust my parents. My in-laws, not so much, mostly because they have health/mobility issues that would make it difficult for them to supervise a small child. My husband's brothers--two I would trust (although I really don't like my SILs, they couldn't do any serious harm in a short period of time) and one is kind of a flake and I wouldn't trust him.

[Anonymous]

My mom, yes, my dad no, but only because it would be too much for him after a brain injury.

In-laws, no way. They're just mean and too old to deal with kids.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I completely trust my parents, my siblings, my in-laws, my SILs and my BILs. I guess I won the family lottery.

[Anonymous]

OP, did your parents raise you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, did your parents raise you?

OP here: Yes

parents divorced
lived with mom
dad was in my life (he recently passed)

[Anonymous]

Yes, I trust my inlaws, parents and SIL. The kids spent 4-6 weekends a year away with them and a week in the summer with my inlaws. We also recently just got back from a 2 weeks trip and my parents and inlaws alternated staying with the kids.

We started overnights at about a year when breastfeeding stopped.