What's the ideal "order" to adopt vs have natural children?

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you so much everyone for your open and candid responses! I really appreciate it!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids are all your OWN - some came to you through birth and some through adoption.

+1000

[Anonymous]

There's no "right" or "wrong." Just like you couldn't ask someone, "What would be best: to have a boy before a girl, or a girl and then a boy?" You just go with it and things fall into place!

[Anonymous]

Not everyone can control birthorder. My parents adopted after years of IF then got pregnant with me. Technically we are out of order according to some on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone can control birthorder. My parents adopted after years of IF then got pregnant with me. Technically we are out of order according to some on this thread.

How is that out of birth order? You would still have been younger than them. They would still have been the first, second etc child when you were born. it wouldn't change birth order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone can control birthorder. My parents adopted after years of IF then got pregnant with me. Technically we are out of order according to some on this thread.

How is that out of birth order? You would still have been younger than them. They would still have been the first, second etc child when you were born. it wouldn't change birth order.

Exactly. Birth order isn't whether you have adopted or bio children first, it's whether the adopted child is older or younger than the youngest bio child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying this makes you look stupid. "My kids are adopted and biological and foster. They are ALL my flesh and blood."

Your adopted and foster kids are NOT your blood. If they needed bone marrow, odds are not in your favor that you'd be a match. It's nice that you love them with all your heart, but there's no need to go overboard. It's like when someone's child has Down Syndrome and they say their child is very smart. That's literally NOT possible. Just like your adopted children are NOT from your blood.

Well, if you want to be technical, if it's a relative placement, they WOULD be from your blood.

[Anonymous]

You should NOT adopt. If you really think an adopted child is not "your own" and not a "natural" child, you are going to make that child feel terrible.

If you were serious, you would have done some research and known your language is offensive.