Dumb questions about college visits

[Anonymous]

Let your kid go by himself during the school year and stay with a freshman host in the dorm. There is o reason for u to go with him. I did all my college touring alone using the train and bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the helpful advice. I agree summer is not a great time to visit. I just see that junior year is so busy and hoped to get a head start so DS could do fewer visits during the school year. But now I can see how that might be counterproductive. As for helicoptering, if we are forking over $60k for a school, I certainly think that the parents have an interest in checking out the campus, too!

I posted earlier. I'd ignore some of the naysayers - especially people who are sharing their own experiences and not recent experiences with their kids. Times have changed, even from 10 years ago.

We did some visits before junior year in part to get a sense of different types of schools to help DC figure out what she was interested in. It was not at all counterproductive, and it made the limited time we had for visits during junior year much more focused. With both kids in time consuming sports and heavy AP class loads we needed to minimize missed days during the year so were limited in the visits we could do during the school year. We took advantage of spring break and long weekends but those don't always work out because the admissions offices need to be open too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let your kid go by himself during the school year and stay with a freshman host in the dorm. There is o reason for u to go with him. I did all my college touring alone using the train and bus.

Report back when your toddler is looking for colleges at what promises to be $75,000 per year. No one asked how you toured colleges.

[Anonymous]

We started sophomore year and found it very helpful to get a basic idea of what kind of school (big/small, college/university, urban/suburban, etc.) DS found feet on campus is v diff from websites and glossy brochures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in admissions. Except in cases of really egregiously unacceptable or weird behavior, nobody will monitor or evaluate you or your kid on a visit. Feel free to ask questions -- just try not to ask questions that can be answered by checking out the website and please don't hog the airtime by asking too many follow-ups. I strongly encourage students to sit in on a class -- for my own kids visiting classes definitely fired them up to do their best on applications.

But you would think it was really weird if a parent sat in on a class, wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in admissions. Except in cases of really egregiously unacceptable or weird behavior, nobody will monitor or evaluate you or your kid on a visit. Feel free to ask questions -- just try not to ask questions that can be answered by checking out the website and please don't hog the airtime by asking too many follow-ups. I strongly encourage students to sit in on a class -- for my own kids visiting classes definitely fired them up to do their best on applications.

But you would think it was really weird if a parent sat in on a class, wouldn't you?

Good grief, I think you are reading the OPs post too literally. I didn't read it to say she personally planned to sit in on a class. It's the royal we.

And the admissions people really wouldn't know or care. Usually classes that allow visitors are posted and you just go early to let the professor know you are sitting in. The professor is not reporting back to admissions.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why it would be weird for a parent to sit in on a class. We're the prospective buyers, right? I ran labs in college, and I remember parents, including of enrolled kids, coming in to listen. That was at a SLAC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the helpful advice. I agree summer is not a great time to visit. I just see that junior year is so busy and hoped to get a head start so DS could do fewer visits during the school year. But now I can see how that might be counterproductive. As for helicoptering, if we are forking over $60k for a school, I certainly think that the parents have an interest in checking out the campus, too!

I posted earlier. I'd ignore some of the naysayers - especially people who are sharing their own experiences and not recent experiences with their kids. Times have changed, even from 10 years ago.

We did some visits before junior year in part to get a sense of different types of schools to help DC figure out what she was interested in. It was not at all counterproductive, and it made the limited time we had for visits during junior year much more focused. With both kids in time consuming sports and heavy AP class loads we needed to minimize missed days during the year so were limited in the visits we could do during the school year. We took advantage of spring break and long weekends but those don't always work out because the admissions offices need to be open too.

I'm one of those who suggested that OP wait until her child's junior year. My advice was based on my experience with my sons, who applied to college within the past 5 years. I understand that it can be difficult to find the time for visits during the school year -- my kids were also varsity athletes with demanding courseloads -- but looking at websites is a good way way to identify schools that your child is most interested in visiting. I would suggest that students and parents start with the admissions section, but then go on to peruse other website sections. The online edition of the student newspaper can be very helpful in getting a feel for what's happening on campus.

Once you've narrowed your list, you should have enough time for visits -- you can go to schools that are relatively nearby on those non-holiday break days (grading/report card prep days, for example) and visit a few schools that are farther away during spring break. Finally, I would caution against visiting too many schools, even during junior year. It's more important for your child to have the time necessary to do well academically and in terms of fulfilling his/her responsibilities to extra-curricular activities. And, please allow some down time even at spring break. The college application process can be stressful and you want to have some fun along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let your kid go by himself during the school year and stay with a freshman host in the dorm. There is o reason for u to go with him. I did all my college touring alone using the train and bus.

I think this is a great strategy for a senior narrowing down the list between a couple of schools, but it's not appropriate for a 15 year old sophomore, and in fact I think most colleges won't allow it at that age.

I think that touring local schools, or schools in an area where you're already vacationing with your child is a great way to start conversations and get them thinking about what they might like. Once you have a sense of that, sending your child off by himself to look at a distant school makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why it would be weird for a parent to sit in on a class. We're the prospective buyers, right? I ran labs in college, and I remember parents, including of enrolled kids, coming in to listen. That was at a SLAC.

I'm the PP who said it would be weird. DC's college guidance counselor emphasized to us over and over again that our kids have to take the lead. We are a part of the process but this is the point where we step back and let them run the show. They need to do this for several reasons: its an important skill for them to learn, they have to be happy with the school because they are going to be the ones living there for four years, and because the colleges do note if a child is letting their parents take over the process.

We go on the tours with DC but he has gone to classes alone. Observing other parents in the process, they all seemed to be doing the same. I think a parent in a class would stand out.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Got two in college and one finishing 11th grade.

It is always a red flag when a parent says "we are spending $$$, therefore we are going to take the lead, etc. " I think that parents should be a resource, a voice of reason and an advisor through the whole process. Whatever choice is made, it is the kid who has to spend 4 years of their lives at the place. We did a lot of visits and my kids were able to determine the best fit for them. We weighed in but they "owned" the decision. At the end of the day, you want to send your kid to where they can be successful and happy and it is your job to HELP them find that fit. It may not be YOUR first choice, but your ego should not be a factor. Parents should NOT take over the process.

Honestly, I think this summer is a good time to take prelim visits - with the primary purpose of seeing the different types of campuses. Your DS will change his mind more than once about what he prefers especially once gets into the process and meets people at the school, etc. But this summer is good to get him some context about what is out there.

[Anonymous]

We are going to California for a family vacation and I thought we might take in a college tour or two since we may not get back there anytime soon. DS is only finishing his freshman year but I figure it would be good for him to hear how competitive it is to get into a good school so that he will be inspired to pick up his GPA next year. Bad idea to start so early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to California for a family vacation and I thought we might take in a college tour or two since we may not get back there anytime soon. DS is only finishing his freshman year but I figure it would be good for him to hear how competitive it is to get into a good school so that he will be inspired to pick up his GPA next year. Bad idea to start so early?

Great idea but keep your expectations low!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to California for a family vacation and I thought we might take in a college tour or two since we may not get back there anytime soon. DS is only finishing his freshman year but I figure it would be good for him to hear how competitive it is to get into a good school so that he will be inspired to pick up his GPA next year. Bad idea to start so early?

This is mixed and may depend on where he is in school. Many schools in this area create way too much stress around the college application process and that stress starts earlier and earlier. It can be very destructive to think of your entire high school career in terms of colleges. But if your DS doesn't go to one of these really competitive schools that might be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A terrific resource for this and other questions about college applications is collegeconfidential.com. Sign in and explore the discussion threads of parents and students who've recently gone through the process.

College confidential is a bad idea. It is populated by Ivy-League wannabes who inflate their GPA and grades to be "chanced" into a school. It is a distorted view of the process at best.