Babies are a killer to woman's focus

[Anonymous]

I am a total feminist and I know there is a lot of truth to what he's saying.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness men never lose any focus when they get past their mid-30s.
These executives are all about numbers. Does he actually have any metrics to back up his statement or is he just blowing smoke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my focus improved after I had a baby. I was able to finish law school with better grades than before and pass the bar exam without trouble. I think the key is having enough support so that you feel like your child is being loved and taken care of when you're not there.

Do you have family/friends to help or did you hire a sitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness men never lose any focus when they get past their mid-30s.
These executives are all about numbers. Does he actually have any metrics to back up his statement or is he just blowing smoke?

I'm a mid-30s man with a young son at home, and I've totaly lost my focus at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness men never lose any focus when they get past their mid-30s.
These executives are all about numbers. Does he actually have any metrics to back up his statement or is he just blowing smoke?

I'm a mid-30s man with a young son at home, and I've totaly lost my focus at work.

Ha! totally. See, I'm not lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

“Every single investment idea .?.?. every desire to understand what is going to make this go up or go down is going to be overwhelmed by the most beautiful experience .?.?. which a man will never share, about a mode of connection between that mother and that baby,” Jones said, according to a video of his remarks The Washington Post obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request. “And I’ve just seen it happen over and over.”

Sounds like pure envy. And a load of horseshit to boot. Every mother I know is someone who became a hyperfocused, forward-thinking, multitasking, analytic powerhouse after childbirth. If you ask me, it's the main source of misogyny and gender bias, (as exhibited in this numbskull's quote) because few, if any, men could jump up on the day of a major medical procedure and recommence running a household and its occupants while keeping the newest member alive. It requires an inhumane amount of effort, energy and focus on an average of 4 hours sleep per night (if she's lucky). She can calculate budget, manage resources, forecast trends, and stock supplies with sleep deprivation and a baby on the boob. Here in DC, she's probably doing it with several degrees. Who doesn't want that skill set in their workforce?

The smart businessman figures out how to harness that talent, not whine about it.

This sounds nice and all, but women are neither workhorses nor superheroes, and you are making the majority of us moms feel woefully inadequate. When do we shower, again? Because without the daytime nanny and the night nurse, we will not be running full throttle with a newborn in the house. And we shouldn't be expected to.

Balance, prioritize or you'll burn out.

[Anonymous]

Aw c'mon gals -- don't let a little thing like a baby get in the way of something as important as financial trading. All you have to do is "lean in."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aw c'mon gals -- don't let a little thing like a baby get in the way of something as important as financial trading. All you have to do is "lean in."

Work harder, serfs!

[Anonymous]

Everyone needs to give 200% says our (female) senior VP. The stiffs at the bottom just kind of snicker.

[Anonymous]

Where this guy's argument is exposed as sexism and not just "speaking truth in a PC world" is in his saying a woman having a baby affects her forever, but men going through focus-pulling events (like divorce) are only temporarily affected. Nothing in his statements implies that a man going through a divorce is permanently incapable of reaching the highest levels, but everything he says implies that he thinks a woman is permanently incapable after having kids.

and I love how his whole argument seems based on two women he knew 40 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my focus improved after I had a baby. I was able to finish law school with better grades than before and pass the bar exam without trouble. I think the key is having enough support so that you feel like your child is being loved and taken care of when you're not there.

Do you have family/friends to help or did you hire a sitter?

It was a juggling act, my mom helped, and we couldn't really afford much at the time. When I returned to school, I packed all my classes into one day per week and weekends. My husband was able to work from home that day, and I don't know how, but he managed to take care of the baby at the same time. Then, when I had internships, my mom came to help me. For the first month of studying for the bar, I would start my studying after everybody went to bed. A month before the exam, I realized I needed to do better. I went and stayed with my mom for 3 weeks and she helped me again. It was hard, but my own sense of focus was not the problem, it was making sure someone was with the baby while I worked. As long as the logistics were working out, I could do the work I needed to do and focus as hard as I needed to. I never felt worried about the baby when I was out of the house, because I knew she was going to be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank goodness men never lose any focus when they get past their mid-30s.
These executives are all about numbers. Does he actually have any metrics to back up his statement or is he just blowing smoke?

I'm a mid-30s man with a young son at home, and I've totaly lost my focus at work.

Mid-40's man with twins and I can confirm that my priorities and focus shifted dramatically when I became a father. I took 3 weeks FT and then 10 weeks PT off for paternity leave. My focus has definitely shifted to my children. But then, I worked very hard for the first 20 years of my career so that I would be in a place where I did not have to work 50-55 hour weeks and be available on-call 7x24 any longer and can work a more normal schedule and have time to spend with my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where this guy's argument is exposed as sexism and not just "speaking truth in a PC world" is in his saying a woman having a baby affects her forever, but men going through focus-pulling events (like divorce) are only temporarily affected. Nothing in his statements implies that a man going through a divorce is permanently incapable of reaching the highest levels, but everything he says implies that he thinks a woman is permanently incapable after having kids.

and I love how his whole argument seems based on two women he knew 40 years ago.

Exactly. This, and the fact that he assumes it is true for everyone. Who knows, maybe it will be true for me -- though I hope not -- but I know plenty of women for whom it is not true. Women who do a terrific job at work and, I assume, do at least a reasonable job at home raising their kids. Ditto for men. Almost everyone in my office has kids except for me (and I am pregnant), and we are a highly competent, high-producing bunch. I think my colleague who argued a case in front of a federal court a few weeks ago would be surprised to hear that her young child "killed" her focus at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has a point- he said it kind of awkwardly but it is true. Mommy brain is real. Maybe not forever but for first 1-2 years after having a baby- I see it every day at work. I have 2 lawyers working for me- both had babies at the end of last year. Since the have returned from maternity leave they have done nothing, can't remember anything, leave early, come late and breast feed 3+ hours per day. That is not hyperfocus.

Agreed. That's why certain nations - I won't point fingers here - have maternity leave that lasts 1 year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where this guy's argument is exposed as sexism and not just "speaking truth in a PC world" is in his saying a woman having a baby affects her forever, but men going through focus-pulling events (like divorce) are only temporarily affected. Nothing in his statements implies that a man going through a divorce is permanently incapable of reaching the highest levels, but everything he says implies that he thinks a woman is permanently incapable after having kids.

and I love how his whole argument seems based on two women he knew 40 years ago.

I thought the same exact thing!