DC wants to Drop Out - What should I do?
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Anonymous
| Give up on the idea of "finishing strong". Don't speak those words again. You want DC to finish, absolutely. You need to know exactly what that will take. How many classes. Don't rely on what DC has told you, know for sure. Can any classes be taken pass/fail, online -look for any creative way. I would even consider a bribe at his point (if you have other children that's more problematic). Pull daughter over the finish line -sounds it isn't going to be pretty. |
Anonymous
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I agree with exploring some creative solutions other PPs have mentioned -
Explore "visiting" school options Would "independent study" in connection with the new job be possible? Does DC really only need 15 credits? Find out how many (if any) credits have to be taken at the school versus another campus Study abroad semester? I think for all the reasons PPs mentioned, it may well be very important for him to have the degree down the road |
Anonymous
By having raised a child to be an adult who does the right thing, doesn't steal from his parents, doesn't fault on his payments, and is somewhat repsonsibile and respectful? |
Anonymous
| Make him finish! Agree with study abroad. And make sure he has gotten credit for all his ap exams. I was too lazy to fill out all the paperwork which in retrospect was crazy bc I could have take one class my last semester rather than paying for a full load. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
great responses. As for finishing elsewhere, this is an option we've explored but logistically doesn't work out due to curriculum and credit issues. Unlike the public school my older child went to, the school DC goes to has a lot more red tape when it comes to credits taken at other institutions. Furthermore, the last semester has to be completed at the school no matter what. As for DC being depressed, DC refuses to go see the school psychiatrist and when we've had parent-student meetings with the dean, DC is very normal and doesn't show these signs. Also when DC is at summer internships no depression issues are evident and is happy and gets strong reviews from managers and co-workers.I'm not sure what I can do in terms of getting help for DC. |
Anonymous
| Maybe you could suggest a semester off instead of full-on dropping out? |
Anonymous
This is what stands out most to me. Why not take 1/2 the credits and graduate on time so he can get good grades and be less stressed. Maybe he can intern near the school so he is doing something that feels more meaningful to him. I work in IT and almost all IT can be done from afar. Most our college interns just do work for us while at school. I can have them write 10 hours of code a week or document a procedure, etc. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Yes, through a combination AP and taking a slightly heavier courseload in freshman and soph years, DC only needs 4 classes to graduate and its really only one class in the major and 3 others in literally anything.
I will say that the school is pretty supportive in terms of even though DC is FAR from a model student and has poor grades, if DC wanted to 'take a semester or year off" they would keep the registration on hold...i.e. DC wouldn't have to drop out but could come back to finish up in the future. Our worry is if DC leaves (even if it is technically temporary) DC will never come back to finish. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like your kid wants to move on with his life and can't wait. Given that he just needs one class and three in literally anything, that seems like an easy, good scenario. Can he take super easy bullshit classes, do just enough work to pass, and work while he's in school? |
Anonymous
We have also offered that as an option and DC would rather finish early and poorly rather than drag it out for another whole year. DC did do some unpaid work related to sophomore year internship but that didn't really help in terms of giving him an incentive to attend class and actually do any school work. Anyways, I appreciate all answers and we will certainly try to keep DC in school to finish out, regardless of how well it happens. I also think within the culture of SV/Seattle tech scene (DC goes to a couple of tech conferences during the school year out west) a 'badge of honor' is given to those who drop-out and 'show the man/system'. OK, maybe the tech guys don't need college, but I think that is very unhealthy to parade that around. I'm not talking about the big entrepreneurs who do their part to tell kids to stay in, but more in lower levels. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/02/fashion/saying-no-to-college.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 |
Anonymous
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I would talk practicalities with him. He hates his courses and school? OK. But he's got just a year left, and his surest ticket to never having to go back is now to finish and make good on investments already made, and get the credential that some employers will desire or require.
If he drops, and wants to return later, he'll have to interrupt his career and reapeat many classes, extending his educational misery. He's so close.He needs to tough it out and then not look back. There is one exception to what I just said: burn out. If he's just too tired/stressed/etc, then he could take a year or semester absence & intern. |
Anonymous
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Do you know anyone in his field? Ask him to sit down and talk with that person about degree vs. no degree.
If he can't do that, ask him to talk out his options with someone at his summer internship. They will have a better perspective on finishing the degree. ?Other options: 1. Does his school offer on-line courses? If it does, and 3 of his classes can be literally anything, maybe he could do that instead of being on campus. If he can do that for the three credits, he might be able to take an independent study to finish his major class. 2. Can he take his final semester at a study abroad campus or in another off-campus program? 3. Can he take a leave of absence and then go back to finish? How long can his leave of absence be? |
Anonymous
| OP, the poster who discussed finances with her daughter is spot on. It sounds like your son doesn't understand consequences or economic responsibility. Have that discussion with him stat and make him contribute! |
Anonymous
1) Visiting student option abroad (Singapore?), then graduate "on time" instead of a semester early 2) Visiting student in a techie region with a great internship and utterly different life experience (San Francisco?) 3) Short term contract or paid internship in his field, with this experience folded into that last semester somehow (since he has three "anything" courses). 4) Bribe of offer to live off campus for this last semester. 5) Visiting student at a typical non-STEM, full-on liberal arts school for those three anything classes (and more women!) --- SLC, Vassar, etc. (Yay, writing and lit courses!) 6) A Peace Corps type experience, where he goes and applies some of this science business through teaching or development work. |
Anonymous
| Take him to the homeless shelter and jail to show what happens when you donte go to college and have to steal to get consumer products. |