What age did you let your daughter go to slumber parties?

[Anonymous]

I think 8 is reasonable. I'm surprised with the fear about the older brothers and dads, though! I don't know any parents of boys who feared them being molested at a sleepover, and I'd be willing to bet that if that kind of thing were to occur, it would occur just as often to boys as to girls. Is there a double standard here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My DD was allowed to go to sleepovers as soon as she was invited. Why is this even anything at all to question?

Because some stats show that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually assaulted or molested in their lifetime. Because people fear other dads, older brothers, and friends of older brothers.

How many of those molestations occurred at slumber parties? Honest question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10 y/old. She's had several one-on-one sleepover and been to one official slumber party. She went to another but I picked her up at 9:00 because of early morning plans the following day.

My friend that hosted one limited it to 6 girls and divided them into pairs to sleep in 3 separate rooms. This kept it sane and allowed the girls to actually sleep. Parents who aren't fans of these parties don't like dealing with the cranks the next day.

This would be me and my husband. Sleepovers are killers if there is church, temple, homework or chores the next day. There were so many sleepovers in my daughter's school, and she was such a mess on Sunday that she couldn't get her homework done and her sleep cycle would also be off. so Monday would be pulling teeth to get her out of bed. We finally just had to set a rule: sleepovers only on Friday night. And we would ask the host parent to try to get them to bed by a time certain and we would pick up the next morning at 10:00. Never worked. Kids would still all be asleep at ll:00 a.m., which meant we were outside with the car running to head for church or wedding so the day's plans would be spoiled. Fortunately we've grown past that age. Now sleepovers, if they happen, are just one-on-one and we know all the parents and they are in agreement about keeping the kids on schedule so the weekend isn't ruined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My DD was allowed to go to sleepovers as soon as she was invited. Why is this even anything at all to question?

Because some stats show that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually assaulted or molested in their lifetime. Because people fear other dads, older brothers, and friends of older brothers.

That's ridiculous. I refuse to raise my child to live her life in fear. She's been taught that if anyone goes to touch her where her swimsuit covers, she's to kick them in the ding-ding as hard as she possibly can and then run away and get help.

That's the same thing my mom taught my sister and me, except she used more "colorful" anatomy language.

Her attitude was that we should know how to handle ourselves in case difficult situations came up. More than once, when I was growing up, I had to use the "WTF are you looking at" line (or something similar but less profane) and it worked, too.

I had girlfriends who were "sheltered" by helicopter moms and now that they are adults, they still wouldn't be able to tell someone to "STFU" (or something similar but less profane) in a difficult situation. Instead, they freeze up because they never learned self-defense strategies.

[Anonymous]

DD went to her first sleep-over at 4, I knew this family long before she was born and was not concerned.

If I did not know the family, I probably wouldn't let them until they were 8 or 9.

[Anonymous]

I agree that limiting the number of girls is a great idea. Things get harder to control over a certain number.

One day children need to grow up and leave home. If you haven't taught them in small increments that this is something they can do, but instead teach them that they can't handle it, it will be very difficult for them to leave home to go to college. You don't build resilience in kids by shielding them, especially from something everyone else is doing -- that also has a social cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? My DD was allowed to go to sleepovers as soon as she was invited. Why is this even anything at all to question?

Because some stats show that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually assaulted or molested in their lifetime. Because people fear other dads, older brothers, and friends of older brothers.

You've posted this before. You're the parent who will never let your DC go to slumber parties, which is pretty extreme.
By the way, the 1 in 4 stat is used over and over but its been debunked. And what this has to do with slumber parties, I don't know. Paranoia.

Happy Saturday to you, too!

Never posted on it before, and DD is only 2 so the issue of slumber parties hasn't come up in our life yet. Interested in this topic so I was reading the thread, and simply provided one possible explanation to the PP who wondered why people wouldn't allow it. Clearly from your response I was right, there are people who don't do slumber parties for fear of molestation. That's all, just providing an explanation.

[Anonymous]

THere are people that do not let their kids play outside for fear of kidnapping.

There have been isolated examples of molestation at slumber parties....i recall reading about one in the area (maybe falls church) a few years ago. But, it is not common.