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I know when I was 17, I would have had a crush on anyone interested in me.....
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If genders were reversed--every person on this board would scream stop it!
I have only boys and I would not find a problem with the older woman crush. It could basically be a college Fresman and a college Senior. Plus- it's cute... "The girl next door" . My brother and his friends always crushed on our older girl babysitters.
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Just don't let him see you laugh about it. Otherwise ignore. |
Give her some credit. Your son is a kid, and she's not. She's probably nice to him because he lives next door and she's nice. |
Yeah, former 17 YO male here. I mean, OP, I don't want to alarm you, but there's probably a shorter list of women aged 16-30 he's not into. |
You need a stress-tab, as they used to say. She doesn't like him. |
And if she does, dear lord, don't mess with his mojo! He's 17. Seven-teen. I had enough trouble with high school girls when I was 17. [Line about going to college so you can finally date high school girls here] If he's got a college-aged girl into him, tip your hat. But seriously, he's basically grown on these matters. And you pretty a right to know as much about his love life as he wants to tell you. |
| OP in a few months (max a year) your son will be in college (living on his own) and you will hope he's only sleeping with someone who's 22 and not trying to nail a 39 year old cougar. |
| So, as parents, you guys would allow this? |
Allow? He's 17. Also, the original concern, I thought, was that the poor baby would get his heart broken. That's part of dating. If she's into drugs or something, I would probably try and stop it. If I'm afraid he's going to get shot down, then, them's the breaks. I seriously doubt it's the first time (a girl first shot me down at age 7--I remember it vividly). It most certainly will not be the last. It's a rough and tumble world. You can't protect him from that. |
If she IS into him, then you worry about that then. If you live in Virginia, then your son is below the age of consent, with respect to a 22-year-old. If you live in DC or Maryland, I suppose you could demand that they break up. You can probably imagine for yourself how successful that would be. |
| I'm guessing it's only a short amount of time until he is 18. Once he is 18 it would be legal for them to date. Honestly I doubt she is interested in him. However, at the age of 25 I was seeing an 18 year old. Several years later we are now married and very happy. I met him at church and he seemed older and I really didn't know he was 18 initially. I am so glad he was legal. I would have had to put the breaks on and it never would have happened if he had been younger so I doubt it will happen with your son and this girl. |
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This has to be a fake post. But just in case it's not. Leave the boy be. Dont mention to him and just let him work it's way out. Having crushes on someone older than you is part of life, part of growing up. So is being hurt, dont try to shield him from it.
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I'm pp. Sorry, my typing got all jumbled. Hopefully you get what I was trying to say.
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OP,
How do you allow a crush? Why does this bother you so much? Are they spending time together? I'm not understanding your concern. My son is 16 so I'm familiar with the age. |