Talk me out of doing something stupid

[Anonymous]

OP we are somewhat similar to you. Except we bought a 10 year old house that was a short sale with some issues, and the previous owners had the most freaky decor ever (think Japanese kanji murals on the wall). We have an 18 month old and DH and I were brand new to DIY. So we sent DD to grandma for a few weeks so she wouldn't smell drywall dust and tackled as much as we could. Of course, the house turned out to have more expensive issues than we realized. And working together with a deadline (we wanted DD back!) was very, very stressful. Honestly, we almost got divorced over it, that's how bad it was. It's not a smart idea unless you are very savvy with DIY.

[Anonymous]

We bought a house built in 1920 that was in relatively good shape but needed some changes. And then more changes. And a ton of maintenance. And a new furnace. And roof repairs. And had "previously unknown" water issues. And mice. And squeaky doors and old cabinets and oh, possible asbestos and OF COURSE old paint.

It was charming and beautiful and unique and lovely. And I will NEVER, EVER do it again. Our oldest was 15 months when we bought and is now almost 7. We've had three more babies since then. Babies plus full time job plus fixer upper of a house = huge mistake. Don't do it!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are looking at a pretty intense fixer-upper. I know in my head it's not a smart decision -- we have a 17 month old kid, another one on the way, full-time jobs, and no real knowledge of contracting/home fixing/etc. I keep getting blinded by the dazzle of getting to choose my own finishes, reconfiguring the layout, and generally making some money (long-term) off of this house.

So which is right, my head or my greedy little heart?

Haven't read the other responses, but if you have the money to fix it up how you like it, the DO IT! I bought my house in 2003. It was a foreclosure. I didn't even own a hammer and was a single woman at the time. I LOVE my house and buying it was the best financial move I've ever made. It is now worth 3 times what I paid for it plus what I put in. And it's exactly how I like it. I lived here through all the renovations. I also did what needed to be done straight away and have done the rest over time. I learned very quickly about the basics, even though I didn't do much of it myself it was still a steep learning curve to understand what was possible and what wasn't and what would be expensive and what wouldn't, what needed to be done right away and what could wait.

Also, try and look at the work that needs to be done to see what you can live with now and what would be quick inexpensive fixes. For example, holes in the wall and peeling wall paper look terrible, but are quick and not expensive fixes. If the roof is damaged and leaking badly it needs to be fixed right away so that it doesn't cost more in the long run. Likewise, expect that you will learn more as the process goes on - e.g. once work starts you will definitely uncover additional problems, but they are not all necessarily expensive.

How old is the house? (Mine is 1880s). What type of issues are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will regret it 100 times over unless you have a lot of cash. And if you did, why not buy a better house?

You mean buy a "better house" that has a kitchen and layout that you didn't chose and that you're not too fond of, versus buying a much cheaper house and choosing everything so that it looks exactly how you want it? All the "better houses" I saw when I looked had ugly finishes and cheap contractor installed kitchens.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it unless (1) you can stay in your current house while you renovate and (2) you have tons of cash, because renovations always cost substantially more than you anticipate. We did this a few years ago. We were fortunate not have to sell our old house until the new one was finished and my kids were older than yours. It was still extremely stressful and we ended up spending way more money than we wanted to. I would never, ever consider renovating if we had to live in the middle of the mess.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the other responses, but if you have the money to fix it up how you like it, the DO IT! I bought my house in 2003. It was a foreclosure. I didn't even own a hammer and was a single woman at the time.

Yes, exactly, you were not the parent of a toddler and a newborn.

OP, I am contemplating something similar but just renovation of our current house. We have a baby and toddler. As much as I freaking HATE our kitchen and how old/dirty/cluttered much of our house is, I have ZERO time now to deal with things (much less DIY, I'm just talking planning) and the idea of that much dirt, dust, and not having a kitchen for a month with 2 little kids? nuts. (plus--things like--construction during nap time, etc). We might do it soon, but I would not do it with baby/toddler. I'd advocate for buying the house now if its in livable condition and doing stuff w hen you can, but know that once there are 2 kids to care for, there's not a lot of time for the regular stuff in life, much less major projects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yall need to stop over extending and just accept the fact you have to dial down where you should live. Nothing worst than being the poorest in the entire neighborhood. We did this and are in the upper hhi of our neighborhood and don't feel like having to keep up with the jones. Just make sure public schools are good.

This is exactly why I gave up on one area. I struggled with the fact that if we got the cheapest house just to get us into the neighborhood we wanted, it would be the top of our budget, things would take time to fix and the activities the neighbors participate in would not be in our budget. We wouldn't be house poor since it was technically withint budget but we would be the poor people on the block. Schools in the other neighborhood are on par but the homes were much more affordable for us so while we don't live in the 'perfect' neighborhood, at least we can afford to live there!

[Anonymous]

You are completely crazy OP. You need to live with a crappy contractor kitchen and forget about creating your dream house. Your children are much more important than living in the perfect house with the right layout and all the right finishes. We've renovated lots of houses, OP, and are about to embark on yet another one. It's so much stress, I can't imagine what I was thinking getting into this again!! New kitchen, new baths, finished basement, adding mudroom, finishing attic, adding second floor laundry room. That's not including landscaping, painting, etc. It's hugely expensive, since we're not moving in until it's all done, and it involves a tremendous amount of work, even though we're doing NOTHING diy. There are so many decisions to make when you do a renovation, and so much time researching everything you want, and working out layouts, etc. I love doing this sort of thing, but it takes so much time away from my family. and my kids are teenagers now, so that makes it a lot easier. But I'd still prefer to spend time doing things with them, and not working on the house. If I could have found a house we could afford that needed no renovations, I would have bought it. We bought this house because it's in the school district we want, and we could afford it. But this is the very last time I'm doing this ever. Next time, it's a condo or a nursing home, and it's going to be new construction!!

Find another house, OP. It's not worth it, believe me.

[Anonymous]

OP, my family has a toddler and another baby on the way and is in the process of buying a somewhat fixer upper. We couldn't really afford to buy anything perfect as is, so we settled on a place that has only one project (a bathroom) that needs to be done immediately. Others can be done over time as we're able (new kitchen, updating some of the systems, fixing a problematic deck, getting a few other things up to code, changing floors, etc). To us, lots of necessary immediate work would have been a deal breaker, but we think we can tackle one major project now and others down the road.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it! I too was tempted to do it, when we were looking, but:
DH and I have demanding jobs
We have a toddler and I am pregnant.
It would have been near the top of our budget, just to buy a beautiful old house in a great neighborhood

Renovating a house is practically full time job. Unless you can afford to hire someone who will be around (ie manage( to check up on the carpenters, go to Home Depot 5x a week, you'll risk drive yourselves to the brink of insanity. Could you live in a house without a kitchen for a month? Gut renovations are hard on marriages.

[Anonymous]

OP, whatever else drives your decision, DO NOT think that what you put into fixing up a house will come back to you when you sell. There are too many opportunities for structural/mechanical surprises, changes in tastes (you cannot pick finishes today that will be sure to appeal to the general public in ten years), and differing tastes (you don't like what other people pick, right?) for you to imagine that there's a flip-like profit to be had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Haven't read the other responses, but if you have the money to fix it up how you like it, the DO IT! I bought my house in 2003. It was a foreclosure. I didn't even own a hammer and was a single woman at the time.

Yes, exactly, you were not the parent of a toddler and a newborn.

OP, I am contemplating something similar but just renovation of our current house. We have a baby and toddler. As much as I freaking HATE our kitchen and how old/dirty/cluttered much of our house is, I have ZERO time now to deal with things (much less DIY, I'm just talking planning) and the idea of that much dirt, dust, and not having a kitchen for a month with 2 little kids? nuts. (plus--things like--construction during nap time, etc). We might do it soon, but I would not do it with baby/toddler. I'd advocate for buying the house now if its in livable condition and doing stuff w hen you can, but know that once there are 2 kids to care for, there's not a lot of time for the regular stuff in life, much less major projects.

No, but I was completely on my own, had little cash and no idea what I was doing. I am now the parent of a toddler and a 6 month old and about to start a major addition project. We'll be living in the house the entire time and working full time. That project is just as extensive as the initial renovation but it's much less scary because there are now two of us to oversee it. We're also in a better financial position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my family has a toddler and another baby on the way and is in the process of buying a somewhat fixer upper. We couldn't really afford to buy anything perfect as is, so we settled on a place that has only one project (a bathroom) that needs to be done immediately. Others can be done over time as we're able (new kitchen, updating some of the systems, fixing a problematic deck, getting a few other things up to code, changing floors, etc). To us, lots of necessary immediate work would have been a deal breaker, but we think we can tackle one major project now and others down the road.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Haven't read the other responses, but if you have the money to fix it up how you like it, the DO IT! I bought my house in 2003. It was a foreclosure. I didn't even own a hammer and was a single woman at the time.

Yes, exactly, you were not the parent of a toddler and a newborn.

OP, I am contemplating something similar but just renovation of our current house. We have a baby and toddler. As much as I freaking HATE our kitchen and how old/dirty/cluttered much of our house is, I have ZERO time now to deal with things (much less DIY, I'm just talking planning) and the idea of that much dirt, dust, and not having a kitchen for a month with 2 little kids? nuts. (plus--things like--construction during nap time, etc). We might do it soon, but I would not do it with baby/toddler. I'd advocate for buying the house now if its in livable condition and doing stuff w hen you can, but know that once there are 2 kids to care for, there's not a lot of time for the regular stuff in life, much less major projects.

No, but I was completely on my own, had little cash and no idea what I was doing. I am now the parent of a toddler and a 6 month old and about to start a major addition project. We'll be living in the house the entire time and working full time. That project is just as extensive as the initial renovation but it's much less scary because there are now two of us to oversee it. We're also in a better financial position.

I think there's a big difference when you've been through this experience before. You sort of know what you're in for and what kind of issues may occur. OP does not, and she has a full career, kids, and an also-newbie spouse to deal with. Honestly, for most people that is a ton of stress to take on. It was for me, and I don't know if I would do it again. Maybe you just really have your shit together? This is going to be an expensive, stressful experience and OP can not count on getting her money back. She may decide to do it anyway, and it may work out nicely, but she should walk in with her eyes wide open. I also think there are a lot of variables here that make a difference- the age of the house, the type of issues, whether OP has a lot of cash on hand, whether OP wants to try DIY, etc.

[Anonymous]

We decided not to buy the fixer upper in a great hood because we saw the research on respiratory issues kids have when living in 'construction zones'.

We are happy to have bought a home that doesn't need work.

The only part of me that was sad was the financial part because with sweat equity, we could literally have gained 300G with doing the work ourselves, whereas with the home we bought, there was nowhere to go; the work was already done. I just had to recognize that that WOULD have been the best deal WHEN WE DIDN'T HAVE KIDS. But now that we do, it isn't the best deal to deal with that, live in that, and raise the kids. You can get cranky when up late working on renovations, and it's one thing when you are a couple, but another thing when your children see you snapping at each other over silly shit.