behavior in schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay students are leaving droves to go where but to Charter schools that are throwing them out in droves. Which they re-enter back into DCPS in droves. So who's driving, Miss Daisy?

Until they hold PARENTS to at least a fraction of accountability they place on schools, this cycle of dysfunction will continue.

[Anonymous]

I think its interesting that he had no problems at his previous school in California...and then such extreme behavioral problems here. I think for whatever reason the school was not the right fit for him.

[Anonymous]

That big of a transition could throw any kiddo into a tailspin. Even if he went the opposite way transferring out of a traditional school into a Montessori school on the opposite coast. Sounds like the adults in his life let him down a bit ( school and home ) Still no excuse for there not to be consequences for the outrageous behavior at school. The mom withdrew him from the school to avoid consequences.

[Anonymous]

The parent walked away. Charter schools should absolutely have a right to demand that parents act as partners. So should DCPS schools.

[Anonymous]

I think before we get too judgmental, we need to know more about the whole story. My interpretation isn't that the child has always had behavior problems. His family moved to a new city. He moved from one type of learning situation (Montessori) to a different one. His whole life has been uprooted, he doesn't understand the new rules, doesn't like all the adjustments and is acting out.

I got the impression that what he needs/needed more than anything is A) more family time to help settle his world, B) some playdates, sports, activities - something to help him make some friends and friendly acquaintances so he doesn't feel so alone, C) some counseling with a therapist who works with young children.

If he hasn't always had behavior problems, then let's look at what has changed (a move - one of the most stressful activities in anyone's life - including adults) and help him adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Bad parents annoy me.

I have 1 child who is a model student, incredibly well-behaved, never an ounce of trouble at school and rarely so at home. I have another child who has developmental delays and other problems that are diagnosed, medicated, and well-addressed at home, in private therapy, and at school, thanks to tens of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours of work on DC's, the school's, our parts. Unfortunately, despite this hard work, school is hard for DC and there are sometimes behaviors that distract from the learning of the other children. We would love DC to be in a program that better dealt with these needs and did not take away from the education of the "normal" children, but they don't exist publicly in our school district, or privately in a price range a normal middle class family could afford ($30K/year would be a bargain; they are more like $50-75K/year). So I have some questions for you.

Am I a good mother because of child #1 or a bad mother because of child #2? Should child #2 just stay home and be uneducated? Maybe put in an institution? Where is your dividing line? Should a kid on a breathing apparatus not be allowed at school with the "normal" kids because it would make noise and distract the kids? What about all those pesky kids with severe nut allergies who prevent my kids from being able to bring peanut butter sandwiches to school. Should they just have to stay home? Most importantly, are you lobbying to have school systems adequately address the needs of kids who are no longer institutionalized and are, rather, actually required to attend school with "normal" kids, despite any disruptive behavior? Should the families of those children live on the street to pay for special schools, go on welfare and food stamps, kill the children as soon as they get a diagnosis?

I am saying nothing in defense of the woman in the article because I don't know the whole story. It sounds to me like the child had some emotional turmoil and, being young, acted on it inappropriately. As the mother, I would have been running to a therapist to help him work out these behaviors, given that, according to the article, they came on suddenly at a time of great change in his life.

I'm glad that the rest of you are perfect parents. I try hard, but am smart enough to know that it's really difficult, even without a kid with special needs. You'll be happy to know that my DC with problems knows well how you and your kids feel about the situation and is occasionally suicidal as a result. I'm sure it is difficult for outsiders to know which kids were receiving such intensive interventions as we and many other such families are doing and which have parents who were unable or unwilling to face the situation. In the meantime, I do believe there is a saying somewhere about glass houses that I think we should all keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

+1, 16:55

[Anonymous]

16:55, I am going out a limb here, but I am going to say that you have never been around the parents that many of the posters are talking about. So you assume that you are the parents have a lot in common when you do not. We are talking about the parents who, tell you up front that they do not want to deal with their kid during the day either. Parents who tell kids to hit other kids to 'teach them lessons'. Parents who make excuses, blame other kids for their child who stabs, strangles (yes it happens), and pushes other kids down the stairs- on a routine basis.
I can assure you, these parents would infuriate you as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but you know kids with special needs can't get kicked out no matter what if the parents say it's a manifestation of the kid's disability, right? So lots of kids with things like adhd, conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. now get to stay no matter what they do.

Exactly. And DC schools have a massive number of SN kids, and the majority of those kids have behavioral issues that stem from being born and raised in poverty.

[Anonymous]

so what? then it's okay that they impinge on the school's quality and ability to serve the other kids? shouldn't there be limits to what a school has to put up with, special needs or no??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so what? then it's okay that they impinge on the school's quality and ability to serve the other kids? shouldn't there be limits to what a school has to put up with, special needs or no??

Not really. Public school has to educate all comers.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. While I feel for young J, it sounds like the big takeaways from his case are a) each charter school is different and b) any parent can get overwhelmed.

It's not the children that charter schools are trying to get rid of. It's the parents or guardians. Having seen some of this type of thing first-hand at a charter, I would venture that the problem is equal parts parents and teachers and admin who are in over their heads. l

There are definitely behavior management and family support issues that need to be addressed across DCPS and charters. But this does not sound like a representative case. There are lots of unanswered questions.

If DC had an education Ombudsman there might be a way to address the needs of the pinball kids who are being bounced around schools unnecessarily.

Hopefully things will work out for this child. In the meantime, a guerilla marketing campaign enlisting 8 year olds in a dispute among adults seems inappropriate and manipulative. Grownups should fight their own battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Bad parents annoy me.

I have 1 child who is a model student, incredibly well-behaved, never an ounce of trouble at school and rarely so at home. I have another child who has developmental delays and other problems that are diagnosed, medicated, and well-addressed at home, in private therapy, and at school, thanks to tens of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours of work on DC's, the school's, our parts. Unfortunately, despite this hard work, school is hard for DC and there are sometimes behaviors that distract from the learning of the other children. We would love DC to be in a program that better dealt with these needs and did not take away from the education of the "normal" children, but they don't exist publicly in our school district, or privately in a price range a normal middle class family could afford ($30K/year would be a bargain; they are more like $50-75K/year). So I have some questions for you.

Am I a good mother because of child #1 or a bad mother because of child #2? Should child #2 just stay home and be uneducated? Maybe put in an institution? Where is your dividing line? Should a kid on a breathing apparatus not be allowed at school with the "normal" kids because it would make noise and distract the kids? What about all those pesky kids with severe nut allergies who prevent my kids from being able to bring peanut butter sandwiches to school. Should they just have to stay home? Most importantly, are you lobbying to have school systems adequately address the needs of kids who are no longer institutionalized and are, rather, actually required to attend school with "normal" kids, despite any disruptive behavior? Should the families of those children live on the street to pay for special schools, go on welfare and food stamps, kill the children as soon as they get a diagnosis?

I am saying nothing in defense of the woman in the article because I don't know the whole story. It sounds to me like the child had some emotional turmoil and, being young, acted on it inappropriately. As the mother, I would have been running to a therapist to help him work out these behaviors, given that, according to the article, they came on suddenly at a time of great change in his life.

I'm glad that the rest of you are perfect parents. I try hard, but am smart enough to know that it's really difficult, even without a kid with special needs. You'll be happy to know that my DC with problems knows well how you and your kids feel about the situation and is occasionally suicidal as a result. I'm sure it is difficult for outsiders to know which kids were receiving such intensive interventions as we and many other such families are doing and which have parents who were unable or unwilling to face the situatioOn to Math! Math 6 parents please work with fractions (adding, subtracting and multiplying)- we have a fraction test on Monday. We will finish up the statistics unit and have a statistics quiz on Friday March 22.

n. In the meantime, I do believe there is a saying somewhere about glass houses that I think we should all keep in mind.

My glass house consists of one special needs kids and his 4 siblings. Guess what, he doesn't go to school with his siblings because the school that is right for them is NOT right for him. He actually was there but wasn't a great fit so we had to move him. The next school (private) was even worse for him (not every kid) so we had to move him again. That was to another private because we didn't feel comfortable putting him into our local DCPS. We have 5 kids. We can't afford 150k a year for privates so we played the lottery Anderson I can tell you the whole tale but will tell you that his older sister got into our dream school (for him) and was able to pull him in via sibling.

We have been down this path even in our glass house. The point was that if you have a kid who is doing just fine and then acting up something is going on. Is it the move? Is it the school? Combo? I don't know but it is up to the parent to figure it out. Frankly I don't care if he is bothering the other children's learning experience. The bigger issue is that the school wasn't right for the child-- like the Post article about Basis. Another child where the school wasn't the right fit but the parent wasn't paying attention, didn't care, etc.

Having been there myself I can tell you I would and did everything to get my child in the right school for HIM. Not the right school because it is popular on DCUM or because it has a track record in AZ or because it has the new hot curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so what? then it's okay that they impinge on the school's quality and ability to serve the other kids? shouldn't there be limits to what a school has to put up with, special needs or no??

No. It's public education. Does that mean that disruptive behavior is acceptable or that there are no consequences for actions or that needs should go unaddressed when they affect the learning environment? No, it doesn't mean that. But, it does mean that schools have to take the SN kids unless they can't deliver FAPE in the least restrictive environment, and then they (the school system) has to pay for a specialized school that can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Bad parents annoy me.

I have 1 child who is a model student, incredibly well-behaved, never an ounce of trouble at school and rarely so at home. I have another child who has developmental delays and other problems that are diagnosed, medicated, and well-addressed at home, in private therapy, and at school, thanks to tens of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours of work on DC's, the school's, our parts. Unfortunately, despite this hard work, school is hard for DC and there are sometimes behaviors that distract from the learning of the other children. We would love DC to be in a program that better dealt with these needs and did not take away from the education of the "normal" children, but they don't exist publicly in our school district, or privately in a price range a normal middle class family could afford ($30K/year would be a bargain; they are more like $50-75K/year). So I have some questions for you.

Am I a good mother because of child #1 or a bad mother because of child #2? Should child #2 just stay home and be uneducated? Maybe put in an institution? Where is your dividing line? Should a kid on a breathing apparatus not be allowed at school with the "normal" kids because it would make noise and distract the kids? What about all those pesky kids with severe nut allergies who prevent my kids from being able to bring peanut butter sandwiches to school. Should they just have to stay home? Most importantly, are you lobbying to have school systems adequately address the needs of kids who are no longer institutionalized and are, rather, actually required to attend school with "normal" kids, despite any disruptive behavior? Should the families of those children live on the street to pay for special schools, go on welfare and food stamps, kill the children as soon as they get a diagnosis?

I am saying nothing in defense of the woman in the article because I don't know the whole story. It sounds to me like the child had some emotional turmoil and, being young, acted on it inappropriately. As the mother, I would have been running to a therapist to help him work out these behaviors, given that, according to the article, they came on suddenly at a time of great change in his life.

I'm glad that the rest of you are perfect parents. I try hard, but am smart enough to know that it's really difficult, even without a kid with special needs. You'll be happy to know that my DC with problems knows well how you and your kids feel about the situation and is occasionally suicidal as a result. I'm sure it is difficult for outsiders to know which kids were receiving such intensive interventions as we and many other such families are doing and which have parents who were unable or unwilling to face the situatioOn to Math! Math 6 parents please work with fractions (adding, subtracting and multiplying)- we have a fraction test on Monday. We will finish up the statistics unit and have a statistics quiz on Friday March 22.

n. In the meantime, I do believe there is a saying somewhere about glass houses that I think we should all keep in mind.

My glass house consists of one special needs kids and his 4 siblings. Guess what, he doesn't go to school with his siblings because the school that is right for them is NOT right for him. He actually was there but wasn't a great fit so we had to move him. The next school (private) was even worse for him (not every kid) so we had to move him again. That was to another private because we didn't feel comfortable putting him into our local DCPS. We have 5 kids. We can't afford 150k a year for privates so we played the lottery Anderson I can tell you the whole tale but will tell you that his older sister got into our dream school (for him) and was able to pull him in via sibling.

We have been down this path even in our glass house. The point was that if you have a kid who is doing just fine and then acting up something is going on. Is it the move? Is it the school? Combo? I don't know but it is up to the parent to figure it out. Frankly I don't care if he is bothering the other children's learning experience. The bigger issue is that the school wasn't right for the child-- like the Post article about Basis. Another child where the school wasn't the right fit but the parent wasn't paying attention, didn't care, etc.

Having been there myself I can tell you I would and did everything to get my child in the right school for HIM. Not the right school because it is popular on DCUM or because it has a track record in AZ or because it has the new hot curriculum.

PP, who or what is Anderson? Your post is extremely difficult to follow. Are you saying that you just defaulted to DCPS after trying every where else? But you were able to pay for private in the past? That doesn't make sense. There is much more choice in private options. How could DCPS be better for a SN kid with severe behavior issues? It isn't.