reality check please - "lean in"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it crazy to go for a big promotion at work with a toddler and pregnant with twins? Or Have I been reading too much about Sheryl Sandburg/ marissa Mayer and "leaning in"?

Depends on your childcare situation and your partner, if any. If your spouse will take on the bulk of childcare and household duties or you have a nanny, then go for it. But if you will be doing the childcare/housework along with working, that might be tough. Of course it depends what the promotion entails -- maybe your job duties won't be significantly affected, just your title. Only you can know.

+1. Even if you don't get the job, they will know that you are really ambitious. I have a full time housekeeper. I feel no guilt farmining out off of the domestic duties. It is a sacrifice. My house is smaller and my car older, but I do not have an especially helpful spouse, therefore I farm out all duties so that I can handle kids and working late. Why fight about it. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Do you mind if I ask how much you make to afford a full time housekeeper? That's my dream. I have two in private, however, that may make it not possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll lean in when I have multiple nannies and a nursery custom built right next to my office. Until then it's not worth the tradeoffs for me.

Exactly what I was thinking. The nursery built next to Maier's office is outrageous. She's not an example of anything helpful to most women.

[Anonymous]

Twins are super hard. I have them. My relative had a singleton and thought she knew it all and told me all about everything. I had my twins and just put my nose down and worked hard at life. She had twins a few months later and was completely blown away at how hard it is to deal with more than one child at a time. Whether your second pregnancy is twins or one baby, two children is harder than one. And two infants is super hard. There are NO breaks.

if you have excellent spousal support and good child care, then go for it. But, DO NOT underestimate how hard twins are and it not just when they are babies. Two toddlers who don't listen or understand and can really hurt themselves and each other can make two 6 month twins look like a walk in the park.

Not trying to scare you or anything but I quit working with my twins and am EXHAUSTED every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. Sme days I think they'll remember less the younger they are so bust your ass and then cut back later.

+1

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with wanting a little bit less pressure at work so you can spend time with your three children. You miss their whole childhood if you're not careful, which is how i feel. Also, I thought I could enjoy more flexibility if I worked hard through my kids' younger years but once you're promoted to a certain level, there's less flexibility, not more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll lean in when I have multiple nannies and a nursery custom built right next to my office. Until then it's not worth the tradeoffs for me.

Exactly what I was thinking. The nursery built next to Maier's office is outrageous. She's not an example of anything helpful to most women.

I don't think the nursery is a big deal. First, I assume she has a nanny in the nursery too (otherwise, how could she work?). Second, how long will she be able to keep the nursery going? Maybe 6 months?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll lean in when I have multiple nannies and a nursery custom built right next to my office. Until then it's not worth the tradeoffs for me.

+1

[Anonymous]

As a twin mom (and a working mom), I say that you absolutely should not go for it. You're about to be responible for two infants. Either you neglect the job or you neglect your children.

And to the earlier poster you said something along the lines of, the younger they are, the less they remember, this is absolutely wrong if you think those years don't matter. The first few years are the most important years of your child's life, and it is all about emotional bonding, which is almost always not as strong with others outside of the family.

[Anonymous]

I am going to say lean in. I will assume you have a very helpful and supportive spouse. I will also assume you are a very talented and accomplished person. Do it!! And don't make apologies. No guy would ever tell another guy not to take a promotion because he is having twins.

Do it for all of us. I have stayed home forever, no regrets for me, but in looking at my daughters choices, hell yeah I want them to lean in.

[Anonymous]

ugh - talk about a recipe for disaster. you're about to have twins! now is the time to back off, big-time, your work responsibilities, not take them on. please, have some respect for infant needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it crazy to go for a big promotion at work with a toddler and pregnant with twins? Or Have I been reading too much about Sheryl Sandburg/ marissa Mayer and "leaning in"?

Depends on the nature of the new job and the timing. Care to share more?

[Anonymous]

We were in the same boat (had twins and a toddler). NO WAY!!! 11 years later and we're still recovering. The first couple of years we don't even remember we were in such a fog. My wife ended up quitting the day the twins were born and becoming a SAHM and we still feel guilty that the twins didn't get as much attention as our first born....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ugh - talk about a recipe for disaster. you're about to have twins! now is the time to back off, big-time, your work responsibilities, not take them on. please, have some respect for infant needs.

Do you work?

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to chime in

[Anonymous]

How will going for the promotion differ from your current work activities/commitment/pay?