I want less out of career- why is that so bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But.... but.... she's a MOM. That's the HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD!!!!

Can't you just pay her for doing nothing and having a crap-ass attitude out of your own guilt at not spending quality time with your own family?

OP didn't say she was doing "nothing" at work. Just that she didn't want to bring it home with her.

[Anonymous]

I understand what you're saying, OP. But we're obviously not getting the whole picture here. You're a lawyer, and you're in a career that requires "bringing" your work home with you. I think that's the reality of it. Even when I don't bring a file home, I still sometimes think about my work when I'm laying in bed, or driving around. I can't help it, it's a thinking person's occupation. If checking an email or writing a quick memo on an occasional weekend is going to make your boss happy, I wouldn't sweat it. It won't hurt your child to see mom "at work" for a little bit during the day. But yea, if you're expected to log in for more than a few hours every weekend, then I completely get being upset.

[Anonymous]

OP -- I think you just have to pretend a little bit here. I'm from the midwest too and we tend to be really honest people. I think more people on the east coast are Bullsh...ers (not all of course). Do a little acting (sort of like moot court) and go out of your way to be friendly, bring in some little inexpensive treats to the office, etc. Just try surviving at this point. I'm in the same boat. I'm a little burnt out for caring so long and then being derided by new management or whatever. I used to be somebody and now I'm a nobody. It is hard to adjust to that notion sometime.

[Anonymous]

I find it strange that your company/supervisor is checking whether you log on on weekends/after hours. Is this really a measure of performance?

I think what you and your supervisor need to is sit down and clarify a set of specific, measurable goals that you can achieve. How many times you login is not one of them. Given that you are a professional, he should trust you will achieve them an leave you be to do so as you see fit. That's how it works where I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- I think you just have to pretend a little bit here. I'm from the midwest too and we tend to be really honest people. I think more people on the east coast are Bullsh...ers (not all of course). Do a little acting (sort of like moot court) and go out of your way to be friendly, bring in some little inexpensive treats to the office, etc. Just try surviving at this point. I'm in the same boat. I'm a little burnt out for caring so long and then being derided by new management or whatever. I used to be somebody and now I'm a nobody. It is hard to adjust to that notion sometime.

If OP is being given the up or out message, which is rare in-house at least compared to biglaw, I would take it as a sign that the company has already made up its mind regarding OP and her work ethic. The only way that will change will be if she kills herself for the next 6 months-1 yrs, takes on more work/more travel etc. and makes it clear that she wants this; if she doesn't, that's fine but the company is kind of giving the signal. This is not something that will be fixed by pretending she's working on weekends, answering an email at 10 pm to show she's "on", or by bringing in donuts. The only thing that will change it is real, true effort and commitment for a sustained period of time.

[Anonymous]

God, I am so glad I'm not a lawyer.

And doing your job while at your job and not on the weekends doesn't make you a whiny "treat me special b/c I'm a MOM" -- it just makes you as sane person who wants some balance in her life.

My job stays at the office, except for the few times that are pre-arranged night meetings. My DH left biglaw for the Fed so he could see his family more too.

[Anonymous]

"Manager asked me what I wanted out of this job and all I could think of was nothing."

OP - You previously worked in BigLaw and this was the best you could come up with? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm GC at a company, head of a small law department. You are in trouble if this is being brought up at your performance review. I'm going to give you some tough love here--if all you want to do is show up, put in your 9-5 and then leave, your company--your client, remember?-- is giving you a pretty strong signal that it's not ok with them. It would not be ok with me. I am all about flexibility--telework, leave at 5 on the dot to pick up your kids, cut out early if things are slow. But one thing I demand is that people CARE about the company and its legal problems, and sometimes that means responding to some emails on the weekend. There are literally hundreds of lawyers who would take your job in a heartbeat.

Here here!! OP, your goals are clearly out of sync with the office culture. You need to step up (particularly in this economy) or find a new job where you can do your 9-5. What you are saying sounds totally entitled.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not sure what you are saying.

If you're saying you want work/life balance and don't want to be a workaholic lawyer, that's understandable.

But you say that when asked what you want out of your job "all I could think of was nothing." Well, to my at least, that sort of attitude it sad. I used to be a lawyer and I left to get more job satisfaction, which included work/life balance. My new career is saner, more flexible. It also is much lower-paying, which is a choice I freely make. However, I love my work and cannot imagine wanting "nothing" from my work if asked by a boss. Do you really feel this disengaged from your career? If so, that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not sure what you are saying.

If you're saying you want work/life balance and don't want to be a workaholic lawyer, that's understandable.

But you say that when asked what you want out of your job "all I could think of was nothing." Well, to my at least, that sort of attitude it sad. I used to be a lawyer and I left to get more job satisfaction, which included work/life balance. My new career is saner, more flexible. It also is much lower-paying, which is a choice I freely make. However, I love my work and cannot imagine wanting "nothing" from my work if asked by a boss. Do you really feel this disengaged from your career? If so, that's a problem.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with how you feel but you're in the wrong profession, or at least the wrong office culture. Can you try legal counsel for a non profit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with how you feel but you're in the wrong profession, or at least the wrong office culture. Can you try legal counsel for a non profit?

lol. Here we go again, with the completely false perception that work at a nonprofit requires fewer hours, less dedication, etc etc etc.

I am the GC of the small legal department quoted above. Guess what? It's a nonprofit. A large, national nonprofit with lots of $$ at stake and a very important mission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with how you feel but you're in the wrong profession, or at least the wrong office culture. Can you try legal counsel for a non profit?

lol. Here we go again, with the completely false perception that work at a nonprofit requires fewer hours, less dedication, etc etc etc.

I am the GC of the small legal department quoted above. Guess what? It's a nonprofit. A large, national nonprofit with lots of $$ at stake and a very important mission.

+1. And in may non-profits and other mission-driven workplaces, the hours can be pretty bad because the expectation is that you will give 150% for "the cause." I say this as someone who works for such an organization (have tons of flexibility but am on call all the time).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I am so glad I'm not a lawyer.

And doing your job while at your job and not on the weekends doesn't make you a whiny "treat me special b/c I'm a MOM" -- it just makes you as sane person who wants some balance in her life.

My job stays at the office, except for the few times that are pre-arranged night meetings. My DH left biglaw for the Fed so he could see his family more too.

For the money I make as a lawyer, I'm happy to make sure things are under control at night and on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think all companies have this culture. OP, I would find a different dept. or company or job where logging in all hours of the day is frowned upon.

I have an MBA from a top school and I refuse to be on a work tether 24/7 just because I have an "important" job. There are some times, some projects where it's necessary, but it's a matter of degree. I don't mind checking emails one weekend every 2 months if something big is happening, but it should not be expected every weekend, and I'm not paid 300K+ to do that either.

It's a matter of degree, the corporate and team culture of work life balance, and your priorities. Don't apologize just because you get it an they dont! Just realize you can't say this out loud at your work. The culture is either there or it's not. Sounds like it is not, for your boss and your team/company.

I wouldn't be on call 24/7 if I made less than $300K, either.