Private for the early years (early elementary or all of elementary) then move to public?

[Anonymous]

The psychologist who tested my daughter for private school admissions (we're applying to K) emphasized that the first years are the most important because they lay the foundation. Our local private is not great past K, which is why we're applying to private now. We're going to give it a shot for a few years and see how it goes. If it turns out she's a strong student, we might move to a better public school district so she can do public. Also, the psych told me that single-sex education is very beneficial for girls who are shy, especially starting in the middle school years. This is when girls tend to withdraw and give the floor to their male counterparts.

[Anonymous]

Our kids have been in private throughout (now one in college, one senior in HS) and my spouse has been a public high school teacher. We live in DC and could afford private throughout, but were I to do it again, at least for my kids who had no special issues and were quite extroverted and social, I would consider public for elementary school (particularly after a great preschool or even preschool through K in private) and move back to private for HS for sure, MS maybe. I think a reasonable elementary school (ie upper NW DC, Monty County, Fairfax County, for a kid with no particular learning issues, can be absolutely fine) but the difference in the academic/intellectual atmosphere between private and public for HS, perhaps with the exception of places like TJ or Blair magnet, is striking, and the amount of writing, critical thinking my kids have done in their private HS is so far beyond what I did, even in a supposedly top public (similar to Whitman) or to what their friends have done in public that I am really glad they were in private particularly for HS academically, and I think private MS socially. So if I had to choose, I for sure would do private for HS first, MS second and LS third.

[Anonymous]

I'm a PP with painfully shy child in B'more. She has an anxiety disorder, so we knew she easily becomes overwhelmed. She is extremely happy and has tons of friends - according to her, all of the girls (she's in an all-girls school) are her friends. They write each other little notes saying "I love you" with ponies and rainbows. It's extremely sweet. This might be the case in public or in coed private as well but I was most confident it would occur here. I am extremely fortunate to be able to have this option.

[Anonymous]

OP: thank you so much for sharing your experiences. But I'm torn! Seems like there are more people advocating private in later years v. earlier years. To poster 13:21, that's so wonderful your daughter is having such a great experience at school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The psychologist who tested my daughter for private school admissions (we're applying to K) emphasized that the first years are the most important because they lay the foundation. Our local private is not great past K, which is why we're applying to private now. We're going to give it a shot for a few years and see how it goes. If it turns out she's a strong student, we might move to a better public school district so she can do public. Also, the psych told me that single-sex education is very beneficial for girls who are shy, especially starting in the middle school years. This is when girls tend to withdraw and give the floor to their male counterparts.

My MIL -- who was a teacher -- also has the opinion that investing in the early years of education is more important than in the later years because you are laying the foundation -- establishing a love of learning, good study habits, etc. We have enrolled our DS in private elementary, have not decided yet on what to do once we come to middle and high school

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids in private for LS, considering possibility of magnet for HS for 2 of them but this is many years ahead. One thing we see now with the 2nd grader is that he already has an awareness of how to budget his time to make sure he isn't scrambling to get homework done. Now, at most he has 20 min of homework (aside from reading) a night, and it's only 2 nights a week that he has this much. Nonetheless, recently when we were planning a time to go bike shopping, he was adamant that we couldn't go on a Tuesday or Wednesday because those were the days he has to do his spelling sentences (all 3 of them!). He works on his book reports and memorizes his poems well ahead of time. In short, the school is really helping him learn how to budget his time. Because of this, we feel that he'll be well positioned to handle the demands of HS, public, private, magnet, wherever, because he is learning these skills. Now, he might learn these skills also in public - I really have no idea and don't mean to suggest otherwise - but I love seeing him learn them now. (Personally, I did private for HS and spent the first year and a half trying to catch up to everyone else's study habits, etc.)

[Anonymous]

OP, I would wait a few years, use public now. The teachers are better in public and certification matters more in the early years.

[Anonymous]

Also, Op it is tempting to want it now, but be patient, the years fly by fast.

[Anonymous]

Am PP with shy DD in B'more. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, or school for that matter. Visit the schools - check out how chaotic or not the hallways and cafeteria and playgrounds are. Find out how the little ones are integrated or not into the school. And then go with your gut. If you think she needs it now, go now. Don't start her off in a situation you don't think she's ready to handle well. She has many years of school ahead of her - you really really want her to love going. Find the place where you can see this happening and then (try to) put her there. If it doesn't work our for whatever reason, it's hardly the end of the world, but so much nicer to have it go really well right off the bat.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a lot of value to a good private school in the early years, but don't underestimate how hard it is to leave. A good school might be good all the way up, and once your child has friends and you are used to the community, it's hard to make a switch and go to a bigger school or system. Not impossible but once you're on the train you tend to stay on.

[Anonymous]

OP: poster from Baltimore, you've been so helpful (all of you have, really!), thank you so much. we actually applied to a school that I think would be a great fit, very nurturing, and I think dd would love it. The thing is we're zoned for a public school that has a great reputation, and everyone (I mean EVERYONE! From family to friends to neighbors) are questioning why we're even considering private at all. I'm not saying dd wouldn't do well, I don't know, she very well might, but I really can't be sure. Whereas I do think she'd do well at this one particular private. Anyway, thanks for all your insights, and keep them coming! It's been very helpful.

[Anonymous]

OP again: and before anyone says it, I know, we don't even know if we'll get in. If we don't, the choice will be made for us and I really do think it'll be for the best. But in the meantime, I'm mulling, just in case she does get accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would wait a few years, use public now. The teachers are better in public and certification matters more in the early years.

yes, you can say this unequivocally and across the board. No exceptions.

[Anonymous]

I'm B'more poster again (also poster with the 3 kids in private - much cheaper in B'more to go to great privates!) - our neighbors think we are nuts and make snide comments all of the time. It's not fun and can make it more difficult initially with social stuff in neighborhood, at least among parents. But while we sometimes think about putting our two DS in public, I would never pull my DD. She had a terrible experience at one preschool and (we broke the contract half way through the year and pulled her out) I can't take that chance again. Things that pointed us toward this particular school - the all-LS meetings multiple times a week where scores of individual girls are recognized by name for being helpful or kind, girls who picked up litter during the week self-identify and stand for applause, and different groups of kids (incl kindergarteners) do little performances (dance or song) every month or so, giving all the girls, incl DD, a chance to stand up in front of a large group of kids and feel very good about themselves bc it's such a safe audience. Different 5th graders help out each morning in the kindergarten class so that DD know all of the "big kids" by name, they know her and they look out for her. The curriculum is a bit traditional and maybe she'd get more acceleration in math later on but really I just don't care about that. I do think that only those with painfully shy kids understand how difficult that situation can be - there's shy and then there's SHY. And IMO, when it's the latter you really have to treat it almost like a special need - the kids are so fragile and so easily damaged. Assuming you can handle it financially, do what is best for your DD RIGHT NOW.
Good luck and I hope you get in!!!! (We got decisions last week up here fortunately.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The psychologist who tested my daughter for private school admissions (we're applying to K) emphasized that the first years are the most important because they lay the foundation. Our local private is not great past K, which is why we're applying to private now. We're going to give it a shot for a few years and see how it goes. If it turns out she's a strong student, we might move to a better public school district so she can do public. Also, the psych told me that single-sex education is very beneficial for girls who are shy, especially starting in the middle school years. This is when girls tend to withdraw and give the floor to their male counterparts.

My MIL -- who was a teacher -- also has the opinion that investing in the early years of education is more important than in the later years because you are laying the foundation -- establishing a love of learning, good study habits, etc. We have enrolled our DS in private elementary, have not decided yet on what to do once we come to middle and high school

I am an elem school teacher, and I disagree. If I had to do some years of public, there is no doubt in my mind that they would be elementary, and then switch to private for MS/ HS. Most public elems are strong on the foundational skills--even stronger than many privates in my experience.