Finally transitioning out of crib at 3 -- help! How do you keep the kid in there??

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Nothing drives me more bonkers than the question "have you asked your ped for advice." Seriously!? Why in the world would I want my pediatricians advice on sleeping when I could ask parents who have actually encountered the same thing, probably more recently than my 65 year old pediatrician! No way would I make an appointment, show up and say, well I'm thinking about moving my child to a big boy bed ...

OP, I know lots of kids who transitioned after 3 and don't have any more problems staying in bed than anyone else. That's not to say that it is easy to keep a 3 year old in bed! It's not! We had a lot of success with a reward system. If my son stayed in bed during the week he got a surprise on the weekends. I'm about ready to move my daughter to a big girl bed and we will be resurrecting the surprise system ASAP!


Well, my pediatrician is a mom, her daughter is relatively young, she is nowhere near 65 and she is more well-versed on developmental literature than I am, so I value her advice and her perspective. Maybe you need a different pediatrician.
Anonymous
We didn't move ours until he was just before 3. We had previously tried this (much earlier - around 2) and he would not stay in there, and we put the front on the crib. So the 2nd time, I had the same fears you did. He stayed in from day 1. I even had to still go get him in the morning even though he could get out. For us, I think it was that he was a better listener and also maybe less curious about getting out?

Now, he is 3.5 and will get out once or twice in the beginnig of the night "to go pee pee" but then he goes right back to sleep.


Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Nothing drives me more bonkers than the question "have you asked your ped for advice." Seriously!? Why in the world would I want my pediatricians advice on sleeping when I could ask parents who have actually encountered the same thing, probably more recently than my 65 year old pediatrician! No way would I make an appointment, show up and say, well I'm thinking about moving my child to a big boy bed ...

OP, I know lots of kids who transitioned after 3 and don't have any more problems staying in bed than anyone else. That's not to say that it is easy to keep a 3 year old in bed! It's not! We had a lot of success with a reward system. If my son stayed in bed during the week he got a surprise on the weekends. I'm about ready to move my daughter to a big girl bed and we will be resurrecting the surprise system ASAP!


To piggy back on this, nothing drives me more bonkers than someone asking genuine advice like this OP and then some smug bitch comes in all, "You did THAT!? Pretty much the worst thing you could have done. Your life is now ruined and it's totally your fault. Prepare for the next 3 years to suck and in case I didn't already make it clear, you have ONLY yourself to blame. May God have mercy on your soul, I mean Jesus, I can't believe people like you would _______ [insert thing parent is asking advice about]."
Anonymous
My kid scaled the gate, and happily slept on the floor in the hallway for some time.

What worked for us was getting a bed he loved. And doing sleep training - where you start out next to his bed for a few nights and just do your own thing, then move a few feet further away every few nights. So they know you are close but won't pay attention to them.

We also have music sometimes, and those nights he goes down much more easily.
Anonymous
I dreaded this two and my son had zero issues. In fact, it took him about 18 months before he realized that he could get out of bed on his own. Before that he just screamed for me when he woke up. Try it out first and see how it goes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My kid scaled the gate, and happily slept on the floor in the hallway for some time.

What worked for us was getting a bed he loved. And doing sleep training - where you start out next to his bed for a few nights and just do your own thing, then move a few feet further away every few nights. So they know you are close but won't pay attention to them.

We also have music sometimes, and those nights he goes down much more easily.


I'm curious about this method since we have climber who seems to need someone next to her to fall asleep at night. Is it from a book? How long does it take till you're completely out of the room?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This would have been easier had you moved your kid to a bed when they were a toddler and not a child.
3 in a crib. Yikes.


Not to be mean but I agree. A colleague at work is dealing with this now and is kicking herself every day. She and her husband chose expediency and are being rewarded with a child who cannot sleep and refuses to sleep without one of them. This could happen anyway, but 3 is a tough age to start this kind of transition. They have active imaginations at that age (read: night fears), crave structure and push every limit. I'm afraid you've set yourself up for a pretty tough challenge. Not sure what to tell you since my child moved out of the crib at 20 months, but good luck. Have you asked your ped for advice?


Huh, this was not out experience at all. We moved DS at almost 3 with zero incident. My understanding is that younger toddlers are MUCH more likely to get out of bed during the night than an older child, with whom you can reason. I've heard that 3 is, developmentally speaking, the best age to switch from crib to bed.

I agree with another pp, don't dread a problem that hasn't happened yet. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Anonymous
We moved both of our kids from cribs to beds at 3. Both did great and, at least at the beginning, never got out of bed without first calling us in. In my experience, 3 is a totally normal age and a totally easy one for transitioning out of a crib.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nothing drives me more bonkers than the question "have you asked your ped for advice." Seriously!? Why in the world would I want my pediatricians advice on sleeping when I could ask parents who have actually encountered the same thing, probably more recently than my 65 year old pediatrician! No way would I make an appointment, show up and say, well I'm thinking about moving my child to a big boy bed ...

OP, I know lots of kids who transitioned after 3 and don't have any more problems staying in bed than anyone else. That's not to say that it is easy to keep a 3 year old in bed! It's not! We had a lot of success with a reward system. If my son stayed in bed during the week he got a surprise on the weekends. I'm about ready to move my daughter to a big girl bed and we will be resurrecting the surprise system ASAP!


Well, my pediatrician is a mom, her daughter is relatively young, she is nowhere near 65 and she is more well-versed on developmental literature than I am, so I value her advice and her perspective. Maybe you need a different pediatrician.


I agree. I love our pediatrician, who is only a few years older than me and has young children. We discuss all sorts of health-related topics (and sleep is health-related) at our DC's visits, and she has given us some very valuable advice. Many new parents are reluctant to ask their pediatrician because they don't want to appear like nervous first time parents, or that they are over-reacting. The "have you asked your pediatrician?" response sends a message that that topic is appropriate to ask at a doctor visit. I know when I was a first time mom, I often asked for reassurance about whether an issue was worth going to the doctor about.
Anonymous
If you don't feel you can ask your pediatrician about everything and everything you need a new doctor. Good luck with the transition to the "big bed", OP. We had very young climbers, so we transitioned much earlier, but I think that at 3 you can talk to him before you make the move to the bed. Maybe go out and let him pick out his own big boy sheet set. Then tell him what the rules are for nap time (they haven't changed) and follow the advice of PPs to not talk and simply take his hand and lead him back to bed if necessary. I'm sure it'll be great.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We put toddler lock on inside of door. Safer than him walking around the house at night.


Ditto. Door was locked. They learn quickly.
Anonymous
My son started daycare for the first time after turning 3. I thought the same thing- nap on a cot when he still napped at home confined to his crib? But he took to it like a champ. I wouldn't worry about it.
Anonymous
We transitioned our 3.5 yr old out of the crib while visiting with family for a little over a week. He slept in the big bed at their house and when we arrived home, he slept in the big bed in his room. We made it exciting with new character sheets, etc... We had no issues or problems. Naps only lasted another 2 months but they were on their way out the door anyway.
Anonymous
We transitioned ours at 3.5 years. Waited that long because I was dreading the same issues as OP mentions. Had no issues. Think it was much easier b/c he was older, could totally understand it. Just laid out the rules. Friends who transitioned toddlers had a much harder time with it.
Anonymous
Your 3 year old fits in the crib still??? Wow. Isn't he too long for it?

By 3 he should be able to understand the concept of a big boy bed. Make having a big boy bed fun - buy a pillow, let him pick out sheets, etc.

How is your DS accepting the concept of a newborn in the spring? If it's not too abstract for him, you might want to tell him that his gift for the baby is the crib...but be careful that can backfire depending on the personality of your DS, but it's a strategy to consider.
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