Does your child do homework before dinner or after dinner?

[Anonymous]

DD is a 5th grader too. Her schedule is below:

3:45pm arrives home
3:45-4:30pm snack, video game, tv whatever
4:30-6:30pm home work, reading
6:30-7:30pm dinner/relax
7:30-8:15pm shower, dessert
8:15-9:00pm piano (+15 min. piano before school)
9:00-10:00pm violin

This schedule has been in effect since 1st gr. so far working pretty good.

[Anonymous]

5th grade -- She does it in aftercare mostly. They have a snack and go outside to play for an hour. Then they come in and there is a homework room where they can work on hw. If she does not want to do hw at aftercare, she does it right when we get home before dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by the way, op, am i reading this correctly or did you basically say your child sits in front of the TV or a computer screen daily from the moment she comes home from school until just before dinner? That sounds more habitual than it does about needing to unwind.

For an hour and a half, is what the OP said. Which I think is too much. I don't think an hour and a half of unwinding is too much, but seven and a half hours of screentime during the week is.

OP, I'd tell her since her homework is not getting done in a timely fashion, she's now going to be put on an Incentive Program. When she gets home from school she has to do her homework FIRST. If she gets that and shower done before 5:30, then she can play on the computer the next day AFTER homework & shower are completed.

Welcome to life. You have to fulfill obligations before doing fun stuff.

I agree except I would cut out screen time altogether during the week. In my experience, kids rush through obligations to get to the screen. In any case, 1.5 hrs a day is a lot IMO.

My son walks the dog and then reads comic books to unwind during the week. Sometimes we play a round of Bananagrams.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. Someone felt that the 1 1/2 hours a day of screen time was too much. Her screen time has been 10 1/2 hours a week since she was around 5. I'm following the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which is no more than 1 or 2 hours per day. Note again: she is purposely not allowed an account on any social media such as FB or Instagram, which can be super addictive.

To be honest, I think her screen time is quite low compared to other kids who do 2 hours of video games a day, plus an hour or two of tv a day. As for her habit of doing it at the same time, that's because she likes to watch certain shows at those times. As I said, I always watched the "4:30 Movie" in NY when I was younger...it didn't hurt my academics in the least.

On Saturdays and Sundays she is also limited to 1 1/2 hours a day for total screen time. It works out fine for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. Someone felt that the 1 1/2 hours a day of screen time was too much. Her screen time has been 10 1/2 hours a week since she was around 5. I'm following the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which is no more than 1 or 2 hours per day. Note again: she is purposely not allowed an account on any social media such as FB or Instagram, which can be super addictive.

To be honest, I think her screen time is quite low compared to other kids who do 2 hours of video games a day, plus an hour or two of tv a day. As for her habit of doing it at the same time, that's because she likes to watch certain shows at those times. As I said, I always watched the "4:30 Movie" in NY when I was younger...it didn't hurt my academics in the least.

On Saturdays and Sundays she is also limited to 1 1/2 hours a day for total screen time. It works out fine for us.

I would suggest that you check out the "low key fashion game" that you allow her to play rather than having her on Facebook, etc. My 7th grader was on a similar game and, quite by accident, I discovered that it was essentially a chat room disguised in fashion graphics, gems, etc. These games are quite common now. They are designed to lure kids in with fun graphics. Check it out when she's asleep just for your own peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

1.5 hours of screen time seems like a lot to me, even if some national group says it is ok. That is a lot of wasted time and it teaches a kid that they need a screen to unwind. Unwinding in the kitchen while helping make dinner or unwinding by reading a book or Skyping with a cousin seem better to me. When do kids just get time to sit with their nose in a book or play outside? When go they just hang out with their family members?

I am sure the kid who practices violin until 10 pm loves it, but that also seems excessive and likely parent-driven (given that there are specific times he has to start and stop).

These kids end up tired and anxious and mildly depressed by high school in my observation.

I would aim for homework after school, and then family time (which includes dinner prep and clean up). The best conversations I had with my teens were while we cooked and did dishes. The funniest conversations they had with each other were at that time as well.
You can't start that habit when they are 14 and you want them to talk with you. Start when they are 4.

Sorry for the diatribe. It just makes me wish families could keep the bigger and long-term picture in mind. An emotionally healthy kid comes out of an unhurried environment where people enjoy each other and make time for each other.

[Anonymous]

Too much homework. Both kids start the moment they get home. We have sitdown family dinner. Then back to the books. Shower. Bed. Up at 5:30 to catch the bus. FCPS high school. I hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1.5 hours of screen time seems like a lot to me, even if some national group says it is ok. That is a lot of wasted time and it teaches a kid that they need a screen to unwind. Unwinding in the kitchen while helping make dinner or unwinding by reading a book or Skyping with a cousin seem better to me. When do kids just get time to sit with their nose in a book or play outside? When go they just hang out with their family members?

I am sure the kid who practices violin until 10 pm loves it, but that also seems excessive and likely parent-driven (given that there are specific times he has to start and stop).

These kids end up tired and anxious and mildly depressed by high school in my observation.

I would aim for homework after school, and then family time (which includes dinner prep and clean up). The best conversations I had with my teens were while we cooked and did dishes. The funniest conversations they had with each other were at that time as well.
You can't start that habit when they are 14 and you want them to talk with you. Start when they are 4.

Sorry for the diatribe. It just makes me wish families could keep the bigger and long-term picture in mind. An emotionally healthy kid comes out of an unhurried environment where people enjoy each other and make time for each other.

This This This This THIS!

[Anonymous]

Long enough break after school to catch his breath... and then before to the extent he can without help. Then after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1.5 hours of screen time seems like a lot to me, even if some national group says it is ok. That is a lot of wasted time and it teaches a kid that they need a screen to unwind. Unwinding in the kitchen while helping make dinner or unwinding by reading a book or Skyping with a cousin seem better to me. When do kids just get time to sit with their nose in a book or play outside? When go they just hang out with their family members?

I am sure the kid who practices violin until 10 pm loves it, but that also seems excessive and likely parent-driven (given that there are specific times he has to start and stop).

These kids end up tired and anxious and mildly depressed by high school in my observation.

I would aim for homework after school, and then family time (which includes dinner prep and clean up). The best conversations I had with my teens were while we cooked and did dishes. The funniest conversations they had with each other were at that time as well.
You can't start that habit when they are 14 and you want them to talk with you. Start when they are 4.

Sorry for the diatribe. It just makes me wish families could keep the bigger and long-term picture in mind. An emotionally healthy kid comes out of an unhurried environment where people enjoy each other and make time for each other.

I agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right after school, we do snack/down time for about an hour. Then homework. This has been our routine since first grade. If she does not finish, then we finish after dinner. I like to get an early start, because I don't know how long it will take.

This. No way could we ever wait until the morning and cross our fingers that DS would have time to finish it. He surely wouldn't. For people who do that, what do you do if HW takes longer than you think it will and there isn't time to finish in the AM?

[Anonymous]

It depends a lot on the kid. One of my kids is very disciplined about his homework and I rarely have to say anything to him about doing it. He always gets it done and he manages a sport and extracurriculars too. Whatever downtime he wants, in whatever order he wants to do it, is fine with me.

On the other hand, I have a kid who loves to socialize online and would basically rather do anything other than study. She is 13. What we do is talk to her after school each day and ask what homework she has, tests and quizzes the next day, etc. Then we come up with a plan together that takes this into account. On nights when she's got more homework we insist she start some of it before dinner. FWIW, we eat dinner later in our house anyway, so the kids generally start there homework before then. The rule is homework must be done before any after dinner TV watching or screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a 5th grader too. Her schedule is below:

3:45pm arrives home
3:45-4:30pm snack, video game, tv whatever
4:30-6:30pm home work, reading
6:30-7:30pm dinner/relax
7:30-8:15pm shower, dessert
8:15-9:00pm piano (+15 min. piano before school)
9:00-10:00pm violin

This schedule has been in effect since 1st gr. so far working pretty good.

This is a pretty regimented schedule. I'm glad it works in your family but I'd bever be comfortable with it. Also, it definitely will be a challenge to keep this us in middle school when the homework will take longer.

[Anonymous]

Just for comparison my fifth grader gets a half hour of screen time on school nights and that is contingent on homework being done. With homework, running around outside with friends, sports, music practice, chores, and dinner, there are many nights he has no screen time. I don't judge your situation. Just providing a data point.

[Anonymous]

While I don't think the 1.5 hrs/day screen time is my ideal, I'm more surprised by the child practicing an instrument until 10 pm at night. Sleep is more important to a child's development than the violin!