What to do with an unruly teen during holiday break

[Anonymous]

Op here:

- either parent taking off from work is not an option at this point
- the baby is in daycare but the center will not take a 13 year old
- I do not trust her home alone, unsupervised at this point. period. this is something that we will work on but i have zero tolerance for lying. we can talk through anything and punishments are always fairly given but lying is not something that is easily forgiven and she has to learn the consequence of that. period.

i appreciate the suggestion of a daytrip to whitetail as well as a counselor at a little kids daycamp or volunteering so I will look into those.

any other ideas on how to keep a teen girl occupied from 8-5, please send my way.

TIA

[Anonymous]

And this is all because of "playing with matches" or am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

- either parent taking off from work is not an option at this point
- the baby is in daycare but the center will not take a 13 year old
- I do not trust her home alone, unsupervised at this point. period. this is something that we will work on but i have zero tolerance for lying. we can talk through anything and punishments are always fairly given but lying is not something that is easily forgiven and she has to learn the consequence of that. period.

i appreciate the suggestion of a daytrip to whitetail as well as a counselor at a little kids daycamp or volunteering so I will look into those.

any other ideas on how to keep a teen girl occupied from 8-5, please send my way.

TIA

This lying happened in the summer and you still haven't forgiven it? Obviously we don't know anything about your daughter, and maybe she is a very troubled teen, but from the tone of your posts it really sounds like you resent her existence now that the baby is here. I am guessing the 13 YO is a stepdaughter and not your bio daughter? I really fear you have a long road ahead of you with this child if you don't get some family counseling now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know anyone who could use the help of a volunteer mothers helper? It would give her some responsibility and purpose, but also she wouldn't be alone.

Just who I want helping me with my toddler ... an unruly teen who plays with matches!

Do you really think that a kid who was playing with matches when bored home alone is going to play with matches while watching a toddler downstairs while you put the baby down for a nap upstairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

- either parent taking off from work is not an option at this point
- the baby is in daycare but the center will not take a 13 year old
- I do not trust her home alone, unsupervised at this point. period. this is something that we will work on but i have zero tolerance for lying. we can talk through anything and punishments are always fairly given but lying is not something that is easily forgiven and she has to learn the consequence of that. period.

i appreciate the suggestion of a daytrip to whitetail as well as a counselor at a little kids daycamp or volunteering so I will look into those.

any other ideas on how to keep a teen girl occupied from 8-5, please send my way.

TIA

This lying happened in the summer and you still haven't forgiven it? Obviously we don't know anything about your daughter, and maybe she is a very troubled teen, but from the tone of your posts it really sounds like you resent her existence now that the baby is here. I am guessing the 13 YO is a stepdaughter and not your bio daughter? I really fear you have a long road ahead of you with this child if you don't get some family counseling now.

Seriously? You got that from OP's posts?? I'd say that's QUITE a leap . Projecting, maybe? Why second guess OP? She doesn't want to leave her kid alone, that's her decision. You don't need to know the details. All she asked for was suggestions on activities.

[Anonymous]

I would definately look into the idea of her being a mother's helper. As a mom of 4 kids it can be crazy in the house over Christmas break. Having a teen there to play with some of the kids would be a great option. If you have any friends with little ones you could try asking them if they could use the help. Even if they can't pay her, you could. Either actual $$ or better yet a special outing with you in the evening/weekend.

Another option would be if you know of anyone with a daughter that would be home from college and would be willing to be her "big sister" for a day. Yes this is technically a babysitter, but if you had a structured activity list it might work better. Something along the lines of "Sally is going to come over in the morning and help you work on these math worksheets. Once you are finished with them the two of you can go out to lunch and go see a movie/laser tag/get a pedicure/go bowling. Yes it might cost more but an active teen is less likely to do things like play with matches. You could also talk to the college girl about the lying problems and ask her to try and talk to your daughter.

Does she have a friend that you trust the parents? Maybe you could work out a swap. Your dd goes to their house for a day while you are at work, you take their dd on a weekend. Or if you can do half the day in the office you could have the girls at your place in the afternoon/evening.

You may not be able to find one solution for all of the days, but maybe a combination of ideas would work.

[Anonymous]

OP here and let me explain - last year there was a fire at her grandmother's house. She was not there when it happened but there was some serious damage to the kitchen and basement, not to mention mementos that we can't ever get back. DD fully understands the damage fires can cause and this is not something that I take lightly. Her playing with matches wasn't an innocent accident - she was literally burning things in the trash can and on the counter top. When confronted, it was days of her lying before she admitted it. So it is a major concern of mine and she has not yet earned my trust enough to be left alone at home.

I am not trying to punish her but I don't trust her to be left alone and that is where I stand as a parent.

I am simply asking for suggestions on how to keep her entertained during work hours for a few days. The camps and activities that I kept coming across all seemed to cater to younger children. That being said there were some suggestions and I will try a mix of:

- Having her be a mother’s helper to 2 of my friends with toddlers
- Spending the day with her older cousin who’s home from college for the holiday

I’ve also mentioned that she needs some help in math. I’ve reached out to the school and have some work that she can do so we’ll work that in somehow.

Thank you to the PPs who provided suggestions as per my request.

[Anonymous]

OP,

It sounds like your plan is a good one, and it's smart that you're working to have her doing things all day those days.

Suggestion: Starting researching activities for spring break! Seriously.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP - I don't know where you are located, but Kids After Hours aftercare program in MoCo has a Travlin' Teens Winter Break camp from Weds-Fri of Christmas week. They are doing laser tag one day, tubing at Whitetail another day, and going to a Japanese steakhouse and a movie on the last day. Info is here: http://www.travelinteens.com/

[Anonymous]

I was just going to suggest, PPs idea for Traveling Teens. My daughter enjoyed their summer camp very much.

13 was our hardest year. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Good luck.

You might have a "tutor" or college student come over from say 10 -4 every day. Give the tutor or college student a list of things that can be done with DD - they would love the funds I'm sure, and could keep just enough of an eye on DD where she wouldn't have to be stuck in the house.
I would also mix up some friend time in there too. As a college student, I would have loved some extra cash doing this.

Finally, I do suggest some family counseling. Understand you are upset about the matches, but the level of intensity seems pretty high given how long its been. Kids make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

- either parent taking off from work is not an option at this point
- the baby is in daycare but the center will not take a 13 year old

Not sure why some people have kids if they are just going to pass them off to daycare (infants) or whine that they have nowhere for said kids to go (older kids who are on school break).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here:

- either parent taking off from work is not an option at this point
- the baby is in daycare but the center will not take a 13 year old

Not sure why some people have kids if they are just going to pass them off to daycare (infants) or whine that they have nowhere for said kids to go (older kids who are on school break).

This was a joke post, right? You can not be serious!