Student attacked in bathroom of elementary school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some insight on what I should expect the school to do in this matter.

My son is in 2nd grade. He went with a buddy to a bathroom near the cafeteria during lunch. There were 1st graders in the bathroom and the kids were talking. Two older kids (5th or 6th grade) come in and start yelling for the younger kids to fight each other. One of the 1st graders starts punching my son. My son runs out of the bathroom, back to the cafeteria. He tells the cafeteria monitor and the assistant principal who is in the cafeteria what happened. He goes to the school nurse, who tells him he is fine because there are no bruises.

No one from the school called us to tell us what happened. No one called the parents of the boy who hit my son. No one is monitoring the bathroom or trying to figure out what class the older boys are in, which should be fairly easy to narrow down since the boys would have likely come from a class that was in cafeteria at the time. Assistant principal says he believes the boys were just playing around.

My son is fine physically, but bothered by what happened and scared to go to the bathroom at school. I am considering calling the parents of the boy who hit my son, not because I am mad at the kid, but because if my kid was being bullied into fighting another kid, I would want to know about it.

Hi, I'm an asst principal of elem school. I'm sorry that this happened to your son. This whole incident underscores why at my school we do not allow children to go to the bathroom during lunch. It's just a recipe for disaster. Teachers are instructed to take them to the restroom within 15 min before lunch. There are a couple of times Kindergartners need to go, but that's rare. There's just no way to keep track of the kids once they leave the cafeteria. What if the fire alarm goes off? Who will know where these kids who went to the bathroom are? And in this case, there is no immediate supervision of the bathroom.

Have you spoken with the asst principal who was there, or was it your son that reported that the asst principal said they were playing around? If you personally have not spoken with the asst principal, please do so tomorrow. As for the school calling the older boys' parents, I'm not clear as to how you know that hasn't happened. I make it a practice of NOT sharing how other children are disciplined. Just as you wouldn't want me sharing information about your child with others, I'm not at liberty to share what specific discipline measures are being taken with children other than your own. I know that may hard to hear, but it's about protecting the privacy of all children. The boys involved my have been disciplined in a variety of ways.

Instead of whether parents have been called, I would ask the asst principal what changes will happen to lessen the likelihood of this happening again. Will students continue to be allowed to leave the cafeteria without adult supervision? Are there any school wide expectations about appropriate numbers of students in the bathroom or appropriate expectations for behavior in the bathroom? Are there any signs in the bathroom with these expectations? In our school, there can be no more that 4 students in the bathroom at any given time. By my count, it sounds like there were at least 6 in the bathroom at the time your son was there.

Again, I'm so sorry that this happened. No child should ever feel unsafe anywhere in the school. Praise your son for leaving right away and telling an adult and for telling you. I hope you can get some resolution tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

^^^ instead of focusing on whether parents were called....

[Anonymous]

Agree with above AND request that this incident be documented by the school. It is called an incident report. Not sure why this hasn't yet been done. Then again some schools play a numbers game with the Safe and Secure data.

[Anonymous]

A couple of incidents recently happened with my 2nd grader as well. 1) A kid repeatedly slapped him in the cafeteria. The AP's response was that my kid had no marks on him so...I wasn't even called. I called after my kid told me he was in the principal's office. 2) Same kid a few days later throws a pair of urinated pants at my son's face. Um...why was my kid left alone with this other kid in the bathroom? I spoke again to the admin and wasn't satisfied. I ended up contacting the parent of the other child and haven't had any issues since. FCPS gets an F in bully prevention.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry this happened!! Can you at least mention which pyramid?

And what we always told our kids was "If someone is hurt or in danger, it's not tattling."

[Anonymous]

That is really horrible! We has issues in KG and nipped it early by writing everything down and escalating it up the chain of command. I am certain that our school thinks of me as a pain in the toosh, but I am fine with that. I protect my kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple of incidents recently happened with my 2nd grader as well. 1) A kid repeatedly slapped him in the cafeteria. The AP's response was that my kid had no marks on him so...I wasn't even called. I called after my kid told me he was in the principal's office. 2) Same kid a few days later throws a pair of urinated pants at my son's face. Um...why was my kid left alone with this other kid in the bathroom? I spoke again to the admin and wasn't satisfied. I ended up contacting the parent of the other child and haven't had any issues since. FCPS gets an F in bully prevention.

No this school gets an F. There are over 130 elementary schools in FCPS. Name it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this will be an unpopular comment, but it is meant with the best intent. What kind I ridicule is he going to face for 1) being beat up by a first grader? 2) tattling? 3) having his mom get involved? I would be mad too, but unless you've heard of bullying problems, or discipline problems at the school, I would tell the administrator of your upset, but let it go other than that.

Maybe unpopular on this forum but that's what I'd do too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A couple of incidents recently happened with my 2nd grader as well. 1) A kid repeatedly slapped him in the cafeteria. The AP's response was that my kid had no marks on him so...I wasn't even called. I called after my kid told me he was in the principal's office. 2) Same kid a few days later throws a pair of urinated pants at my son's face. Um...why was my kid left alone with this other kid in the bathroom? I spoke again to the admin and wasn't satisfied. I ended up contacting the parent of the other child and haven't had any issues since. FCPS gets an F in bully prevention.

No this school gets an F. There are over 130 elementary schools in FCPS. Name it.

I posted about nipping it early, as we had issues in KG. Our ES is in cluster 8. OP, what cluster are you in?

[Anonymous]

So much for the "no tolerance policy" on bullying in FCPS. This is so terrible and you need to not stop until someone at the school or FCPS will do something.

Those older boys are monsters to try to do this to little kids.

And you need to tell you child that it is ok to say to someone who is bothering him "Leave me alone"...it is never to early to learn to stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

what school is this?

[Anonymous]

I am not the OP, I posted the other incidents (21:16) - KP

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I am not going to post the name of the school, but will tell you it's in Cluster 3.

I have spoken at length with the Assistant Principal. He talked to the 4 kids known to be involved: my son, kid who hit my son, and the buddy each of the kids was with. He has a fairly good idea what class the older kids were from because he know what classes were eating lunch at the time. The bathroom is right across from the cafeteria. AP said he would talk to the older kids at lunch, but can't do anything else because the kids can't be identified. Kid who hit my son was very upset, probably more upset than my son. He was scared by the older boys. He is also about half the size of my kid, which explains why my son said he didn't want to fight back or defend himself because he was afraid he would hurt the other kid. My son is trained in martial arts, but has been taught that you don't use martial arts unless you are in danger.

My big issue was that no one from the school called me to tell me what happened. Reason being given is that no one thought my son was hurt, he didn't seem upset, and AP thought the kids were just "messing around." I have informed them if my son is ever hit at school again, or if he sees the nurse for any reason, I am to be called.

I am also concerned that the parents of the kid who hit my son were not called. I don't want this kid to get in trouble, but if my kid were punching other kids because they were taunted by older kids to fight, I would want to know. I may call the parents myself, because AP indicated he was not going to.

AP also said the cafeteria monitor would be told not to let more than 4 kids in the bathroom at one time. I asked if someone could monitor the bathroom during lunch as was told they didn't have the staff to do that. AP made excuses that they have never had an incident like this before and the kids at this school are generally "good kids." Personally, I am not buying that, but they will not be convinced until something else happens.

My son is fine now and says he wants to forget about it, so we will move on. We talked about how to react in situations like this if he should ever encounter them again.

Thank you for your insights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, you really are an idiot. This boy is neither a tattletale or a mamma's boy. The boy did the absolutely right thing and the mom is doing the right thing by reporting this via email to the proper administration officials. OP do NOT wait a week, do not wait a day! You need to protect your child. The fact the older boys instigated a fight between youngsters is sickening and should have serious consequences.

She already talked to the AP. You are funny.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a parent of a first grade boy, who is pretty impressionable, I would want to know if my kid had been taunted into hitting another kid.

So, I kind of think maybe you should say something to the family, but be careful. Look how quickly people started labelling this kid a "bully". That is downright wrong and hurtful to this child. If you have these thoughts, that a young 6 or 7 yo is a "bully" because he was pressured into hitting your son by a bunch of kids who could be almost twice his age, then I wouldn't call. Because you will just make things worse.