Men: Why Do You Suck at Buying Gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW here. I suck at buying gifts and my DH is awesome at it. Every year is a surprise and spot on. I've never even considered returning anything he's given me. I on the other hand suck at it big time.

This is me too. He keeps a note section of things I mention during the year that I want and during my birthday and holiday time he gets from the list. It's always perfect. I hate it! . He's such a good gift giver, I make up for it with a Bj and a guys trip to Vegas.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and I suck at it.

DH is a great gift giver.

[Anonymous]

Why isn't this thread titled, "Women: Why do you stay with men who suck at things you find important?" Of course, someone who defines gift giving as something important in a relationship is kinda out there, imo.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a great gift-giver. But also, I'm not a selfish bitch and I understand that there is a lot more to giving or receiving a gift than the gift alone.

And women wonder why their husbands leave them for something better.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Allow me to try to answer this.

1) I cannot buy you clothing. I know your size, but I'm not really up on how retailers do vanity sizing these days, so I fear that I'll invariably get you something that makes you think I think you're fat (you're not and I don't), so there's simply no way to win in this area.

2) You developed an allergy to gold, and have more silver than you know what to do with. Besides, earrings are sort of go-to gifts from the kids. Besides, I've already given you diamond studs in the past. But, generally, it's getting harder to find decent jewelry. I do look, however, especially when I travel for work -- i'll go to the local markets. I just can never find the right thing.

3) You really wouldn't appreciate a book of "love" poetry. We don't do sappy symbolism in our house anyway. What I really want to give you is a new Apple Macbook to replace your failing laptop, and that would be a stretch financially, but you just said don't buy anything practical, so I guess that's out.

4) Along those lines, gadgets are out. You spend too much damn time looking at screens anyway as it is.

5) I'd get you lessons or something but you always go once or twice and stop going, so it's a waste of money.

So, look, this isn't as easy as you suggest. And I'm trying. How about you cut me some slack? Or just, I don't know, tell me what you want rather than play some game where I'm supposed to guess and be right?

Get her the Mac ALONG with something a little more personal/sentimental, even if it's just a note or book of some kind - or a scarf. That's my two cents. I think you are fantastic for putting this much time into thinking about it - my DH might get me a nice "ie expensive" gift, but not much thought behind it normally. Sweet that you go looking at local markets for your wife when traveling.

[Anonymous]

Because people don't work hard for things they take for granted. Remember how it was when it wasn't a sure thing and they needed to try?

[Anonymous]

I guess I just don't get it the undercurrent of hostility the OP conveys. My wife and I normally just tell each other what we'd like, and that's what we end up getting. We may do surprise gifts at times, but after 10+ years of marriage, we've found that just telling each other works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Allow me to try to answer this.

1) I cannot buy you clothing. I know your size, but I'm not really up on how retailers do vanity sizing these days, so I fear that I'll invariably get you something that makes you think I think you're fat (you're not and I don't), so there's simply no way to win in this area.

2) You developed an allergy to gold, and have more silver than you know what to do with. Besides, earrings are sort of go-to gifts from the kids. Besides, I've already given you diamond studs in the past. But, generally, it's getting harder to find decent jewelry. I do look, however, especially when I travel for work -- i'll go to the local markets. I just can never find the right thing.

3) You really wouldn't appreciate a book of "love" poetry. We don't do sappy symbolism in our house anyway. What I really want to give you is a new Apple Macbook to replace your failing laptop, and that would be a stretch financially, but you just said don't buy anything practical, so I guess that's out.

4) Along those lines, gadgets are out. You spend too much damn time looking at screens anyway as it is.

5) I'd get you lessons or something but you always go once or twice and stop going, so it's a waste of money.

So, look, this isn't as easy as you suggest. And I'm trying. How about you cut me some slack? Or just, I don't know, tell me what you want rather than play some game where I'm supposed to guess and be right?

+1

[Anonymous]

Women aren't so good at giving gifts. You think you are good at it. Yes, some of you are. But for the most part, the difference is that men don't get that bent out of shape when we get a present that's not very exciting to us. We don't use it to determine how much you still care about us, we don't start fretting that you never pay attention to what we need/like or that the romance is dead. We sure as hell don't bitch about it online. We accept the 10th sweater in a row and say "thanks hon", and try to remember to wear it soon so you don't get upset that we didn't like it enough. If you push the point that we are not excited enough about it we will accept the blame, because of course we are "hard to shop for".

[Anonymous]

Look--I keep a wish list, I send emails with links, I point out things in passing and I even have a Pinterest board. DH simply can't be bothered. I do think it says a lot about how much attention he pays and how much he cares when he doesn't make any effort at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW here. I suck at buying gifts and my DH is awesome at it. Every year is a surprise and spot on. I've never even considered returning anything he's given me. I on the other hand suck at it big time.

This is me too. He keeps a note section of things I mention during the year that I want and during my birthday and holiday time he gets from the list. It's always perfect. I hate it! . He's such a good gift giver, I make up for it with a Bj and a guys trip to Vegas.

I try to make it easy on my wife. Last year I said "I LOVE this Milwaukee M18 cordless drill. The one Bob has. But maybe I should wait for the after-Christmas sale". Should be a layup. If she has any doubt about what to buy, she can call Bob. Right? And I need a new drill because mine is 20 yrs old and I burned the insulation off part of the cord so it's kind of iffy anyway. And I just said I am not buying it before Christmas.

It's not that I care that she didn't get it. I'm happy just sitting together opening presents. But she missed out on taking credit for it. I got the drill and every time I pull it out I think how awesome it is. She could have heard a solid year of thank you's, which is a win for everyone even if I am handing it to her.

Every guy has something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look--I keep a wish list, I send emails with links, I point out things in passing and I even have a Pinterest board. DH simply can't be bothered. I do think it says a lot about how much attention he pays and how much he cares when he doesn't make any effort at all.

Keep in mind, it also says a lot about how much you think about what your "gifts" should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW here. I suck at buying gifts and my DH is awesome at it. Every year is a surprise and spot on. I've never even considered returning anything he's given me. I on the other hand suck at it big time.

This is me too. He keeps a note section of things I mention during the year that I want and during my birthday and holiday time he gets from the list. It's always perfect. I hate it! . He's such a good gift giver, I make up for it with a Bj and a guys trip to Vegas.

I try to make it easy on my wife. Last year I said "I LOVE this Milwaukee M18 cordless drill. The one Bob has. But maybe I should wait for the after-Christmas sale". Should be a layup. If she has any doubt about what to buy, she can call Bob. Right? And I need a new drill because mine is 20 yrs old and I burned the insulation off part of the cord so it's kind of iffy anyway. And I just said I am not buying it before Christmas.

It's not that I care that she didn't get it. I'm happy just sitting together opening presents. But she missed out on taking credit for it. I got the drill and every time I pull it out I think how awesome it is. She could have heard a solid year of thank you's, which is a win for everyone even if I am handing it to her.

Every guy has something like that.

Hah. This is me. DW is generally good at getting gifts that I like, but somehow if there's something obvious that I mention several times, it never winds up happening.

[Anonymous]

They don't all suck. My husband is an amazing gift giver. A. MAZE. ING.

[Anonymous]

I know from past experience that whatever we buy will be 'wrong' so we just don't bother putting much effort into it after a while. We figure out the price point (say, $100) and just take a stab at something that costs about that much. Done.