Husband agrees relationship is 50/50, but I do almost everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will gets much worse after you have children. You better nip it now while you still have a chance .

Ditto. This guy sounds selfish and lazy. There is nothing magic about having kids that will change him.

[Anonymous]

Hi. You are married to my husband. Except we have two kids. It gets so much worse because you want to teach your children how to behave and so having clothes on the floor is worse because it sets a bad example. Plus you will do all the scheduling and little responsibilities that come with kids. For me I know that all of my failed attempts at rehabilitation mean I either need to just live with it or move on. And I ask myself whether being a single mom who has to do it all is better than a married woman who has to do it all. We can't afford to outsource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will gets much worse after you have children. You better nip it now while you still have a chance .

Ditto. This guy sounds selfish and lazy. There is nothing magic about having kids that will change him.

Don't have kids with him if you can't afford to outsource some of the work. Seriously, you will resent him all the time.

[Anonymous]

You're both wrong... it's 100/100.

Signed,
A Man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sad fact of life is that men are lazy.

It's not a man thing. In my house, the roles are reversed and dw is the lazy slob who leaves dishes on the nightstand, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, hear me now and believe me later:

This will never, ever change. So it leaves you with two choices:

1) Accept it, do more, and stop being angry about it all the time.

2) Dump the motherfucker already.

Choose one and get on with your life. But, seriously, don't choose #1 and continue to moan and groan. We don't want to hear your complaints about this situation a year from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will gets much worse after you have children. You better nip it now while you still have a chance .

Ditto. This guy sounds selfish and lazy. There is nothing magic about having kids that will change him.

Don't have kids with him if you can't afford to outsource some of the work. Seriously, you will resent him all the time.

And after the resentment comes the affair. And then the counselling. And then another affair. Then finally a painful divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi. You are married to my husband. Except we have two kids. It gets so much worse because you want to teach your children how to behave and so having clothes on the floor is worse because it sets a bad example. Plus you will do all the scheduling and little responsibilities that come with kids. For me I know that all of my failed attempts at rehabilitation mean I either need to just live with it or move on. And I ask myself whether being a single mom who has to do it all is better than a married woman who has to do it all. We can't afford to outsource.

This is me too. I love my husband. He's a great dad. But he drives me crazy because he's a slob who expects the house to look perfect. It's gotten worse since I've gone back to school. It was his idea, he swore he'd step up and help out more with the kids and the house, and was super excited for me to start. That was June. Now not only does he not help, but he volunteered me for extra work in watching the neighbor's kids (I don't mind helping since she can't really afford after care, but it would have been nice to be asked, and it makes it hard for me to get my school work done). When he does help by say, making dinner, he tends to leave the kitchen destroyed and expects me to clean up after him. We've had many talks, most instigated by him, about *us* doing more. I just nod and agree and wait for him to go back to his usual no-helping state. The nice thing about being this busy is that I'm too tired to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sad fact of life is that men are lazy.

And clueless. I'll look around my house in despair b/c it is such a mess, and my DH will say "What? It doesn't look that bad to me." And then I have to resist the urge to smack the daylights out of him.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you tried saying something like, "We need to do X this weekend. Can we take care of it on Saturday at 10am?"