Teen with 99th Percentile Verbal IQ W/ Attention Issues

[Anonymous]

I would repeatedly reassure this kid that he can learn to focus and he can learn to adapt. Brains are plastic and they can be improved, just like a muscle.

Talk to the doctor about what to do and then make a plan for this kid. Stuff that will help:

1. Therapy for your child
2. Medication
3. Martial arts or yoga teaches focus
4. Action adventure video games teach focus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would repeatedly reassure this kid that he can learn to focus and he can learn to adapt. Brains are plastic and they can be improved, just like a muscle.

Talk to the doctor about what to do and then make a plan for this kid. Stuff that will help:

1. Therapy for your child
2. Medication
3. Martial arts or yoga teaches focus
4. Action adventure video games teach focus

I would also tell him that 1) he got his smarts from his mother and 2) none of it matters without hard work (but that he can learn to work hard.)

[Anonymous]

Yup-- my eight year old caught sight of some the gifted literature I had laying around the house.
I've told him that if he's developing the good character use his gifts and the good sense to know that there are so many things he *doesn't* know, he'll never feel the to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

I will offer a somewhat contrary view. Your DC may be relieved to find out that he's not stupid. My ADHD/LD kid struggled in school, but was actually comforted by having a diagnosis that showed that she was smart, just different than many of her peers. The next step is to show him how to overcome or accommodate his differences. Hopefully the psych will have suggestions for that, ours certainly did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you told him it's great that he's smart, but that intelligence alone doesn't get anyone anywhere? I know a kid who is apparently a genius, but he can't manage his life at all. He decided that his verbal talent was all he needed to succeed in life and doing homework in any other classes was beneath him. His parents encouraged this line of thought and actually did his homework for him. In college. He was put on probation at his Ivy League university and was forced to take a year off. He did absolutely nothing during that year, which was fine with his parents because he's just so special and can't be expected to hold a job like a regular person. He is now in his late 20s and has been doing nothing since college, other than less than one semester in a graduate program he dropped out of. No job, no ambition, just living off his parents. But he's really really smart.

My son likewise scored in the 99th+ percentile on an extensive IQ test, but has attention issues. Our message to him is: Your intelligence is like hair color, eye color, height. It is an attribute you were born with that will not take you anywhere all by itself. And that no one gets everything: You got a high IQ, but a very average working memory and processing capability. So, you need to work harder than most of your peers to get to the same place.

We have worked with his public HS to put accommodations in place (he can e.g. turn things in online and has preferential seating in class), and he is on a low-dose stimulant. He also uses various apps and a cellphone with reminders set to keep track of his work.

It's ok for a teen to know what his IQ is - but he needs the whole picture. IMO

[Anonymous]

Have him read John Greene's Theory of Katherines. I actually like it better than his other books, it is about a super smart kid and that can't really pull it together because of his fears. I have several friends like your son and they both said it gave them useful perspective.

If he is not inclined towards this type of book I have been listening to several recent speeches by Walter Issacson and his new book on the digital revolution discusses a lot about why it is the work that matters not just brains.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - I think you psychologist, psychiatrist screwed up big time and that you have to make him/her accountable. VERBAL I.Q. is only one portion of the I.Q. analysis and a very small portion of a good, thorough, neuropsych workup. While one of my child my have a verbal I.Q. of 137, his processing skills are two standard deviations lower. Many SN kids, and especially asperger kids, can score extremely high in verbal I.Q. My other Aspie son came in at 183 on verbal I.Q. (at the college level when in 4th grade) but is hampered by ADHD/Aspergers/Anxiety and may never be able to function on his own. And is finding college extremely challenging. Your psychologist needs to explain this well to your child. Testing is a profile of the student. The verbal I.Q. is just a small component of the profile and is not even the entire I.Q. combined score.

[Anonymous]

Teach him about the Growth Mindset. There are some books about it.

[Anonymous]

Tell him my Aspie just got into Mensa but he will never be able to drive or hold down a job.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell him that half the kids in the DC area have 99% verbal IQ scores.

I realize that this is not actually true but it certainly seems like it. Clearly many, many kids do - including both my kids.

[Anonymous]

IQ is just a number and doesn't mean squat. It's what you DO and achieve that counts.

Your DS is ridiculous. Make him read the tortoise and the hare.