Second week of kindergarten and I think DS is going to be bored

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't "hold him back". He has a LATE Sept birthday (end of the month) and would have been the youngest kid in the entire class AND school b/c anyone after Sept 1 had to "test in". My son and 2 others were tested and my son "passed" and the other 2 didn't. So, we decided to wait and let him grow socially and here he is in kindergarten. There is no perfect answer in these cases. I could have sent him "early" and then he would have been the YOUNGEST and might have been unprepared...

Thanks to those with HELPFUL advice. Those that were rude - really? Where did that get you?

Well, you could have sent him last year but chose not to. You wanted him to have a year to mature and not be the youngest. OK, he is not the youngest. Now you are getting the year of maturity that you signed up for so enjoy it, I'm sure he'll learn something and gain that maturity you are looking for. Next year he will be one of the oldest in first grade... again that is what you wanted. Your other option is to do as PP said and lobby to get him moved into first this year but he will be among the youngest... not the end of the world but was something you had wanted to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't "hold him back". He has a LATE Sept birthday (end of the month) and would have been the youngest kid in the entire class AND school b/c anyone after Sept 1 had to "test in". My son and 2 others were tested and my son "passed" and the other 2 didn't. So, we decided to wait and let him grow socially and here he is in kindergarten. There is no perfect answer in these cases. I could have sent him "early" and then he would have been the YOUNGEST and might have been unprepared...

Thanks to those with HELPFUL advice. Those that were rude - really? Where did that get you?

So your son was age appropriate for kindergarten last year, and passed the test for entrance into kindergarten last year. So he was appropriately in kindergarten last year. It wouldn't have been "early" he just would have been the youngest...someone has to be the youngest. But you didn't want him to be the youngest, so you held him back, and now you are worried that he is bored. But if you move him up a year he will be the youngest (the thing you wanted to avoid).

I have a September kindergartener who is the youngest in the class. I understand it's not a perfect decision process, but you need to own it that you held him back a year and now realize that there are downsides to that decision. So either decide that the downsides are too great and try to move him up to first grade, or decide that the trade off you made for social development vs academic challenge is fine and stay the course. But you can't have you cake and eat it too.

[Anonymous]

OP you made the decision to hold him back last year, even though the test showed he was ready. REGARDLESS, you need to decide if you can rectify that by moving him up, or risk that he will be bored. Think long term, and there's your answer. If you move him up, I'd do it pronto, don't want him to be behind if you move him later.

As the mother of the youngest boy in our upper elementary grade, it's fine, he's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't "hold him back". He has a LATE Sept birthday (end of the month) and would have been the youngest kid in the entire class AND school b/c anyone after Sept 1 had to "test in". My son and 2 others were tested and my son "passed" and the other 2 didn't. So, we decided to wait and let him grow socially and here he is in kindergarten. There is no perfect answer in these cases. I could have sent him "early" and then he would have been the YOUNGEST and might have been unprepared...

Thanks to those with HELPFUL advice. Those that were rude - really? Where did that get you?

If your son passed, you held him back. Which is fine, but that's the point of the assessment: it's a placement test. He was placed in kindergarten and you put him in pre-K again. Which is your choice, of course, but nobody is attacking you by accurately describing what you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC had a child in kindergarten held back with a birthday in April!! He is now in 2nd grade this year. I don't know what they were thinking.

That's right you have no idea. You should not judge. Sometimes holding back is for a darn good reason (not sports oriented or anything like that). Some kids actually NEED it. It does do some children some good. You don't have any right to judge. Worry about your own child. And no, I do not have a dog in this fight.

Oh, come on. When a child does two years of kindergarten and then is placed in 2nd grade, yes, people wonder what the factors were. When a child does two years of kindergarten and then is placed in first grade, nobody wonders. Why would they? Let's not get our panties in a bunch about normal human curiosity.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear ya. I am in the opposite situation. My DS just started kinder this week via early entrance and is the youngest in his class. He is turning 5 next week while others are turning 6! It is not an easy decision at all. If we had let him go on time I think we would be in your shoes. Instead, we chose to try it out and I am having the opposite worries about if we made the right decision. Are we setting him up with a disadvantage? Is his emotional immaturity going to affect his entire academic career? etc. I think we can't win for losing you know? All we can do is try out best and we will always wonder if we made the right decision. At least we are loving parents who are trying to do what is right for our kids.

I also know of another mom in your shoes. Her son passed early entrance too with a Sept bday. She chose to not let him start kinder and had him do an additional year of pre K. Well, when he got to kinder his reading was so advanced they moved him to 1st anways. I spoke with her and she still worries about the decision to move him to 1st grade now since he is the youngest and more immature, etc. I swear there is not a perfect answer to this dilemma except to not have kids in Sept!!

Maybe when they graduate we should all have a glass of wine and share war stories Good luck to you. Maybe you can challenged him with additional reading etc at home, or after school programs in addition to speaking with his teacher. Best of luck!!

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that a year of review can't hurt. Even if he did learn some of the material last year, he probably doesn't remember ALL of it. And kindergarten is the foundation for all other grades, so if he leaves the year knowing the stuff cold, he is in good shape. Plus, children don't know to be bored in kindergarten; the curriculum is full of manipulative-based activity which can easily be modified at this age to accommodate advanced learners, and any teacher worth her salt knows how to do this. This is a good time for him to develop friendships and further his social skills, and perhaps being a bit older could promote a sense of leadership that he may not get in first grade. Trust me, I worked in a K class a few years ago and taught 4th grade math most recently, and K is waaaay more exciting, probably the most "fun" grade I have taught. Don't push him to grow up too fast; let him enjoy this neat year. It's all business after this.

[Anonymous]

I have a child with an Oct. birthday and school is very easy for him, but we had no choice but to hold him back unless we wanted to pay for private and push the school to accept him into a higher grade. I see the benefits that he can be with kids in his class for sports and excel without being overly athletic, have a little more time to develop his interests and abilities, and hopefully won't be overwhelmed when he gets into high school. The first several years though are not very challenging. I think he could have gone either way socially. Since I don't have a choice, I try to just accept it.

[Anonymous]

OP -- ignore the haters. You did what you thought was best.

I'm a former (1st grade) teacher. Here is my advice:

Talk to the teacher about your concerns. You'll most likely find that there are other kids who are light years ahead of others. They (most likely) do tiered reading groups and extra enrichment for those who are ahead of others.

It's not like when we parents were in school where the "smart kid" sat bored all day. Teachers and schools are used to the differences, especially since they now learn in K what they used to learn in 1st grade.

The first week (up to the first month) is for review anyway.

I think you'll be surprised at how much your DS learns this year.

[Anonymous]

Oh you people! You should have timed your pregnancies better so you avoid this whole issue. Slackers!!

[Anonymous]

Oct. birthday mom. You may not have a lot of differentiation in kindergarten. It isn't known as a huge year for it. It's more what you want in the long run. There will definitely be many kids at most schools who can handle more than the typical curriculum so your DS won't be the only one at that level. Whether they teach to that level in kindergarten though is another matter. Since there was a test I'm guessing this is private though and most people hold their Sept. kids back.

[Anonymous]

I would have done the same thing, OP. I think boys in general need more time to develop socially anyway. There is some good advice on the thread. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Let me re-frame kinder for you. So your son walked in knowing how to read, write, and do basic math with manipulatives.

This is a year for him to simply gain reading comprehension, get better handwriting, do math without manipulatives and bigger numbers. Plus learn to navigate more complex friendships with less hand-holding from adults. Learn his way around the school. Work on his problem-solving and leadership skills among classmates. If you focus on that stuff instead of the fact that he's already read the book they're reading and seems bored, you and he will get much more out of this year.

[Anonymous]

16:44 Yes, having a child in the middle of the school year was the top thing on my mind after it taking 3 years to conceive a child.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could think of it ithis way. Yes, your DS is older and could possibly be ahead of the acedemics in his kindegarten class but maybe he will gain the important social skills he needs to do really well in school. You may have unknowingly done your son a big favor.