If you did it again, would you have the same number of kids?

[Anonymous]

Could only afford one. Case closed.

[Anonymous]

I have one child and found it incredibly exhausting when she was little (she is now 12). I know that the sleepless nights and the constant child-centered life would have killed me if we had had a second one. I was working part-time then.

Each of us can tolerate a different level of exhaustion. My threshold is very low, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids get MORE exhausting as they (and you!) get older. It's not just the exhaustion of the newborn stage. We stopped at 2 - the kids are now 11 and 13 - and I'm thrilled we didn't have another.

How do they get even more exhausting? Have one toddler and cant fathom it being harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids get MORE exhausting as they (and you!) get older. It's not just the exhaustion of the newborn stage. We stopped at 2 - the kids are now 11 and 13 - and I'm thrilled we didn't have another.

How do they get even more exhausting? Have one toddler and cant fathom it being harder.

They're out past curfew, driving alone for the first time, madly in love with a gothic druggie from 3 blocks over...

[Anonymous]

I had twins, one with severe autism. We decided not to have more since it was all we felt could handle at the time since we had no help and there was no guarantee that we wouldn't have another SN child. Now that they are almost adults, I do wish I had a neurotypical sibling for my son to share the ups and downs of our family's life with once we pass. My husband says he doesn't regret our decision since it allowed us to dedicate enough time and resources to each kid's very different needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had twins, one with severe autism. We decided not to have more since it was all we felt could handle at the time since we had no help and there was no guarantee that we wouldn't have another SN child. Now that they are almost adults, I do wish I had a neurotypical sibling for my son to share the ups and downs of our family's life with once we pass. My husband says he doesn't regret our decision since it allowed us to dedicate enough time and resources to each kid's very different needs.

For as difficult as it seems now for your other child, siblings of children with issues - ones I've known - are the most compassionate children/teens/adults I've met. Maybe I'm generalizing here, but it has been what I've seen in my lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had twins, one with severe autism. We decided not to have more since it was all we felt could handle at the time since we had no help and there was no guarantee that we wouldn't have another SN child. Now that they are almost adults, I do wish I had a neurotypical sibling for my son to share the ups and downs of our family's life with once we pass. My husband says he doesn't regret our decision since it allowed us to dedicate enough time and resources to each kid's very different needs.

For as difficult as it seems now for your other child, siblings of children with issues - ones I've known - are the most compassionate children/teens/adults I've met. Maybe I'm generalizing here, but it has been what I've seen in my lifetime.

Thanks, PP. It is true that my son is very compassionate and kind. I just wish he had someone to share things with growing up, like I did.

[Anonymous]

We have five. I would have loved to have had another. I had my first at 22 and my last at 34. The last pregnancy and delivery was much harder on my body than the earlier pregnancies were. I was concerned about my own health as well as the health of another baby past the age of 35. But I loved having a house full of kids! Three of them are away at college. We only have two left at home and one of those leaves next year.

[Anonymous]

Had 4. No private school but that wasn't our priority. There were days that were tiring but looking back now, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids get MORE exhausting as they (and you!) get older. It's not just the exhaustion of the newborn stage. We stopped at 2 - the kids are now 11 and 13 - and I'm thrilled we didn't have another.

How do they get even more exhausting? Have one toddler and cant fathom it being harder.

They're out past curfew, driving alone for the first time, madly in love with a gothic druggie from 3 blocks over...

Do they really start drugs and dating at 13?
Anyone here have their kids past age 40 and now suffering exhaustion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids get MORE exhausting as they (and you!) get older. It's not just the exhaustion of the newborn stage. We stopped at 2 - the kids are now 11 and 13 - and I'm thrilled we didn't have another.

How do they get even more exhausting? Have one toddler and cant fathom it being harder.

They're out past curfew, driving alone for the first time, madly in love with a gothic druggie from 3 blocks over...

Do they really start drugs and dating at 13?
Anyone here have their kids past age 40 and now suffering exhaustion?

I did, twins at 44, now 15. Insane. No, due to many exhausting hours spent with my DSs, they do not use drugs, yet. That I know of. Still need to get through the older teen cycle. Am pushing 60. Contemplating boarding school, but would miss them too much! Over protective -- seems just right to me.

[Anonymous]

I have two. Perfect. Could not have handled more. One wise friend told me once that each additional kid acts as a multiplier. 1 + 1 does not equal 2, it equals 3 squabbles. Add a third and now you have six squabbles going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 and trying to figure out whether or not to go for a 3rd kid. (We have a 5 yo and a 2.5 yo). I don't feel like I could handle a baby right now, but I wonder if I will look back with regret if I don't go for it (assuming, of course, we could have a #3). Looking for some wisdom from those who've already been there... If you did it again, would you have the same number of kids?

You will not regret having a 3rd child, and your two children will be forever grateful for another sibling. I love the number of kids I have and wouldn't trade it for the world. I have more than 3. It is definitely a financial sacrifice but worth it because of the love and family I have. I am rich in family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids get MORE exhausting as they (and you!) get older. It's not just the exhaustion of the newborn stage. We stopped at 2 - the kids are now 11 and 13 - and I'm thrilled we didn't have another.

How do they get even more exhausting? Have one toddler and cant fathom it being harder.

You have to worry about more than their physical safety and sleepless nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 and trying to figure out whether or not to go for a 3rd kid. (We have a 5 yo and a 2.5 yo). I don't feel like I could handle a baby right now, but I wonder if I will look back with regret if I don't go for it (assuming, of course, we could have a #3). Looking for some wisdom from those who've already been there... If you did it again, would you have the same number of kids?

You will not regret having a 3rd child, and your two children will be forever grateful for another sibling. I love the number of kids I have and wouldn't trade it for the world. I have more than 3. It is definitely a financial sacrifice but worth it because of the love and family I have. I am rich in family.

I disagree. We decided not to have a third so we could both continue our careers full time plus devote enough time and attention to the two we have, to our marriage and to ourselves.