Dh against Botox

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH hates it. I don't tell him until after the fact. Whenever I go, there is always a joke about how NO husbands know. I told the receptionist that my husband would die if he knew how much I spent, she just laughed and said that I sounded like everyone. You are not going to look like you just had a facelift. I had filler and botox and my husband could not tell the difference. Mostly because the changes are so subtle.

Right. Because botox never, ever goes badly....

[Anonymous]

I'd hate it if my husband got an unnecessary cosmetic procedure after I expressed that I was against it.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for sharing your views. A few clarifications: (1) cost is not the issue (and my income is much higher than DH's); (2) he says it's crazy to be injecting a type of poison in your face; (3) he doesn't understand why I want to do it, thinks my face looks great as-is.

The reason I am hesitating to do it without his approval is that DH is the most laid-back and supportive husband ever. He rarely expresses such strong views. So when he does, I feel I need to consider them seriously.

[Anonymous]

Honey, you are actually going to get older. AND it will show---don't be ridiculous trying to pretend you look younger, because you don't..

[Anonymous]

My problem is that with Botox and with most cosmetic anti-aging procedures there is a very fine line between looking great and looking like Joan Rivers. It seems lime people don't know when to stop. And believe me the moment you cross that line EVERYONE knows.
For the record, I am not opposed to it but it were me I would take my husbands opinion into consideration. I would like his support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for sharing your views. A few clarifications: (1) cost is not the issue (and my income is much higher than DH's); (2) he says it's crazy to be injecting a type of poison in your face; (3) he doesn't understand why I want to do it, thinks my face looks great as-is.

The reason I am hesitating to do it without his approval is that DH is the most laid-back and supportive husband ever. He rarely expresses such strong views. So when he does, I feel I need to consider them seriously.

This is your answer. It's not about Botox or your looks. It's about working together as partners who take each other's feelings, opinions and wants into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd consider his opinion but would still do it if I felt strongly. I plan to do it before I turn 30.

Did you mean to say 40 or 50? I cannot imagine you would need it in your 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to know?

right - b/c he'll NEVER see the difference

Wow, she looks great!

[Anonymous]

OP, my husband doesn't want me doing anything like that either, but mostly because he thinks I'll end up looking like people who have gone way too far and have an immobile, strangely puffy face. A very good derm or plastic surgeon can inject a small amount in the right place and he likely won't notice (it is gradual, usually).

For me, DH is against my getting thermage or IPL, but I have a lot of sun damage that is aging my skin. He says he loves my freckles, but there's so much more. I think he's just worried I'll look strange and not just like the person I am, only a bit younger/fresher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for sharing your views. A few clarifications: (1) cost is not the issue (and my income is much higher than DH's); (2) he says it's crazy to be injecting a type of poison in your face; (3) he doesn't understand why I want to do it, thinks my face looks great as-is.

The reason I am hesitating to do it without his approval is that DH is the most laid-back and supportive husband ever. He rarely expresses such strong views. So when he does, I feel I need to consider them seriously.

I would hope your relationship is more important to you than a few wrinkles. Take him seriously, and don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for sharing your views. A few clarifications: (1) cost is not the issue (and my income is much higher than DH's); (2) he says it's crazy to be injecting a type of poison in your face; (3) he doesn't understand why I want to do it, thinks my face looks great as-is.

The reason I am hesitating to do it without his approval is that DH is the most laid-back and supportive husband ever. He rarely expresses such strong views. So when he does, I feel I need to consider them seriously.

You'll look great! Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to know?

right - b/c he'll NEVER see the difference

Wow, she looks great!

I know.

like a different persons

[Anonymous]

The key to botox is the right injector. I have used both a well-repected dermatologist and a plastic surgeon. The surgeon did a much better job--very subtle and refreshed. The thing with botox (or cosmetic surgery)--you can always spot work, but you can't spot the good ones. Get recommendations. Keep in mind the results only last 3-6 months (most people 3 months) so even if you don't like it you are stuck with the results forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he against it? Cost or some other reason?

If it's cost, you have to respect his wishes.

I'm not comfortable with "respect his wishes." Marriage is a partnership. They need to make financial decisions together. The cost may be a very legitimate concern for their family. I was wondering if he has medical concerns which may also be very legitimate. We're not talking about dh being opposed to you choosing a certain nail polish color. This is about injecting something into your face.

I don't care if you're comfortable with it or not. That's a stupid thing to waste money on. And if that's his problem with it, she should have some respect for it. Her vanity doesn't trump his wishes to not spend money so frivolously.

[Anonymous]

Ahhh.....because you declare it a stupid waste of money then it must be true. We all have to make decisions about how to spend our disposable income. If the botox makes her feel better about herself, this attitude will carry over to all aspects of her life--marriage, motherhood, work, etc. and is not a waste of money. When I look good, I feel better about myself. When I feel better about myself, I am happier. When I am happier, that happiness spills out in to every aspect of my life. A few hundred for botox is money well spent.