1st year on exec pta and my child got assigned the "worst" teacher in grad

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for all the advice. Spoke to the principal today and was very nice and polite and did NOT ask for her to be switched. I just simply said that I did not think this was a good fit for my child. And the principal was very nice in the response and agreed to stay on top of the situation as much as possible, but ultiimately thought the structure and strictness would be good for a child with ADD. So I will try and start the year off on the right foot, but there is not much solace in knowing that once the year is underway that there is no way out. Except homeschooling. LOL.

[Anonymous]

OP I would schedule a 504 or IEP meeting as soon as possible and push to get your child changed. The principal is going to try to say no but you can continue to push politely. A strict and structured teacher often isn't always the best fit for ADD kids. I don't why school administrators think this. A teacher who is too strict and has a harsh tone can be a a terrible fit for an ADD kid who already has esteem issues and thinks s/he is "bad" and doesn't understand why he can't sit still, remember all the directions, or complete tasks. ADD kids need someone who will keep on top of them but also redirect them appropriately not scold them. They also need a teacher who will not force all tasks to be completed if the child has already mastered the concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for all the advice. Spoke to the principal today and was very nice and polite and did NOT ask for her to be switched. I just simply said that I did not think this was a good fit for my child. And the principal was very nice in the response and agreed to stay on top of the situation as much as possible, but ultiimately thought the structure and strictness would be good for a child with ADD. So I will try and start the year off on the right foot, but there is not much solace in knowing that once the year is underway that there is no way out. Except homeschooling. LOL.

This is absolutely true for my son with ADD! He was lucky enough to have a wonderful preschool Montessori teacher that was stricter than most (some parents were not happy with her!) - and he managed to learn how to follow directions, how to read and count to a thousand despite his significant attention issues.

That teacher had to be replaced for a few months for a medical issue: lo and behold, the replacement could. not. make. my son do anything in class, and he started having behavior issues as well, which he had never had before - she was too much of a softie (which was great for some of the other kids!). As soon as the permanent teacher returned, the negative behaviors disappeared.

On the other hand, stricter should not mean narrow-minded: I hope the teacher will understand and follow all the accommodations required under your child's IEP (maybe you should get one if she does not have one). For my son, that means getting a front seat facing the blackboard, away from the window, it means the teacher repeats instructions to him as needed, and agrees with him on a way to recall him to class proceedings, such as a discreet rap on his desk. For an older child, it could mean getting extra time on tests, etc...

Wait and see, OP.

[Anonymous]

Advocate now for your child and have him switched. I have learnt from past mistakes. Do not let sleeping dogs lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would schedule a 504 or IEP meeting as soon as possible and push to get your child changed. The principal is going to try to say no but you can continue to push politely. A strict and structured teacher often isn't always the best fit for ADD kids. I don't why school administrators think this. A teacher who is too strict and has a harsh tone can be a a terrible fit for an ADD kid who already has esteem issues and thinks s/he is "bad" and doesn't understand why he can't sit still, remember all the directions, or complete tasks. ADD kids need someone who will keep on top of them but also redirect them appropriately not scold them. They also need a teacher who will not force all tasks to be completed if the child has already mastered the concept.

This type of teacher was a disaster for my ADHD kid. Completely lost his confidence, hated going to school. We were in private and had to pull him out of the school because of it. Learned a big lesson which is teachers that yell and are strict have the opposite effect on my child.

[Anonymous]

I'm always so skeptical of these types of rumors. They run rampant at our school and pretty much every conversation with a group of moms over the summer involves how they are going to game the system and get the best teachers. It is pretty disturbing consider this is a PUBLIC school and if the teachers are that bad, then they simply shouldn't be teaching (I know, easier said then done).

I have decided to just not play in these games (i.e., talking to the principal, writing long letters detailing which teacher my child should have, etc.). Generally, I think they are unfair (if successful) but more likely futile.

Also, in the grand scheme of things, bad teachers generally do NOT harm your child or hinder their education. We all have had bad teachers in the past. Learning to deal with them is also an important part of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm always so skeptical of these types of rumors. They run rampant at our school and pretty much every conversation with a group of moms over the summer involves how they are going to game the system and get the best teachers. It is pretty disturbing consider this is a PUBLIC school and if the teachers are that bad, then they simply shouldn't be teaching (I know, easier said then done).

I have decided to just not play in these games (i.e., talking to the principal, writing long letters detailing which teacher my child should have, etc.). Generally, I think they are unfair (if successful) but more likely futile.

Also, in the grand scheme of things, bad teachers generally do NOT harm your child or hinder their education. We all have had bad teachers in the past. Learning to deal with them is also an important part of school.

here, here

[Anonymous]

PP, id be curious if you still feel that way if your kid does get a damaging teacher. My kid had a mean teacher that two years later, he still has not recovered from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would schedule a 504 or IEP meeting as soon as possible and push to get your child changed. The principal is going to try to say no but you can continue to push politely. A strict and structured teacher often isn't always the best fit for ADD kids. I don't why school administrators think this. A teacher who is too strict and has a harsh tone can be a a terrible fit for an ADD kid who already has esteem issues and thinks s/he is "bad" and doesn't understand why he can't sit still, remember all the directions, or complete tasks. ADD kids need someone who will keep on top of them but also redirect them appropriately not scold them. They also need a teacher who will not force all tasks to be completed if the child has already mastered the concept.

I could have written this post. My DS ended up with a very strict teacher. She was new to the school, so we had no preconceived notions. For years, despite amazing grades, we had been working through various behavior charts, etc. to help DS with his attention and impulsivity. Because his academics were going well, we did not see the need to delve further into what was going on. Well, last year, after the first day, DS who LOVED school before this, came home crying (4th grade mind you), and saying he was never going back to school. It turned out that the teacher had had to call him out on his inattention many times, to the point that she even admitted she felt she was picking on him. After some time in her class, and DS coming home, feeling he was "stupid" despite getting all A's, we sought the help of a dev. ped, who indeed found DS more than met the criteria for ADHD combined type. Even though we worked through some medication trials and a 504 with accomodations, and I found that his teacher's patience was better once we knew what was going on, having a very rigid/inflexible teacher was tough for him. DS is a very sweet/non-agressive boy who has a really hard time with directions/attention/impulsivity. His best years in school have been with teachers who are less strict, and more flexible and willing to think outside the box. Now that it is on the principal's radar, you should also be sure to put it on the teacher's radar. I think knowing what issues a child may be facing, will help a teacher know the issues go beyond a child who is being willful or deliberate in their inattention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would schedule a 504 or IEP meeting as soon as possible and push to get your child changed. The principal is going to try to say no but you can continue to push politely. A strict and structured teacher often isn't always the best fit for ADD kids. I don't why school administrators think this. A teacher who is too strict and has a harsh tone can be a a terrible fit for an ADD kid who already has esteem issues and thinks s/he is "bad" and doesn't understand why he can't sit still, remember all the directions, or complete tasks. ADD kids need someone who will keep on top of them but also redirect them appropriately not scold them. They also need a teacher who will not force all tasks to be completed if the child has already mastered the concept.

This type of teacher was a disaster for my ADHD kid. Completely lost his confidence, hated going to school. We were in private and had to pull him out of the school because of it. Learned a big lesson which is teachers that yell and are strict have the opposite effect on my child.

A teacher who runs a tight ship is not necessarily one who yells all the time. A confident teacher has command of the classroom and students know not to cross him/her. I'm not sure what the perceptions are of this teacher specifically, but remember that this profession is a labor of love for those who undertake it. Try another approach toward this teacher, such as offering classroom support or expressing your appreciation. Teachers have more demands than non-teachers can even fathom, and they vary from year, so are impossible to totally plan for. A little encouragement and rapport go a long way. -A former teacher

[Anonymous]

Also remember that the teachers who the parents love aren't necessarily those that the students love, or learn the most from. My sensitive, active son had a tough first-grade teacher two years ago - she was extremely particular and rigorous and not at all warm and fuzzy. She scared ME, and I could tell a lot of other parents found her to be a PITA. But the kids loved her - she was very clear, the rules were always enforced without exception, and she was extremely engaging in the classroom. Maybe it's coincidence but my son made huge strides that year - basically went from being a kid who could barely read to one who was reading way above grade level. My son looks back on the year fondly, I'm sure I would have heard unpleasant rumors about this teacher if I were well integrated into the mommy network at my kid's school, but they might not have told the whole story.

[Anonymous]

So all the kids who don't have connections, don't have active parents in the school should get the lousy teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Also, in the grand scheme of things, bad teachers generally do NOT harm your child or hinder their education. We all have had bad teachers in the past. Learning to deal with them is also an important part of school.

here, here

Sounds good until you come across a teacher who is just a total disaster for one of your kids. We got to HS before this happened, and it's only happened once, but we got to the point where we told the school counselors that either they would transfer our son to a different teacher or we would pull him out of the school the following week - and not hesitate to let people in the community know why.

I'm sure that sounds very helicopter, but this teacher was beyond horrible. She was an ugly, nasty person and a totally ineffective teacher. I'm not sure why people fail to realize that the mental abuse that some female teachers inflict on their students can be damaging like the physical abuse inflicted by a Jerry Sandusky. In each case, the natural tendency of school administrators seems to be to deny there is a problem and just hope the abuser and abused will go away, so they can maintain the school's image.

Obviously, that may not be relevant to the OP's situation. It could, in fact, be the case that the teacher that she's worried about will be fine for her child. One of our other kids actually had an ES teacher twice that other parents tried to make sure that their kids did not get, because they thought she was too strict and demanding. Our assessment was that she was not warm and fuzzy, but that she knew her stuff and wanted all of her kids to learn, so we were fine with her style. Our experience with the HS teacher was different; she did whatever she wanted to in class; ridiculed some students while giving others (invariably girls) pet nicknames; failed to keep office hours after school; failed to provide students with any resources to review what she had "taught" in class; and ignored whatever feedback the administration and parents had given her that her teaching methods did not work for a significant portion of her students.

[Anonymous]

PP, I think you make an excellent case for why the OP does not need to immediately demand a transfer, but instead wait and see what the actual classroom experience is like for OP's child. You excellent descriptions show that sometimes the teacher with a "tough" teacher can be just fine, but sometimes there is a truly bad teacher that calls for drastic intervention.

[Anonymous]

I always have wondered if this is how it works. PTA=all the best teachers. I am catching on OP, thanks.