do you really need to try 1 whole year before getting help?

[Anonymous]

OP here- we've actually been trying to have a baby for more than a year, but had a miscarriage in there too. So the current attempt at trying has been 7 months. and the miscarriage just makes me feel even more strongly that something must be wrong. and with the periods being so irregular after the miscarriage I just don't know what's going on.

[Anonymous]

OP, there's no harm in seeing an RE. It doesn't commit you to doing anything...just getting information from someone who specializes in this. Some ppl would say that since you've been pregnant before that means nothing's wrong...but my SIL had a miscarriage and then did not conceive until 3 years later via IVF.

I would be firm with your OB and ask for a referral if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Or go to a different gyn and get your referral or a family doc can do them too.

[Anonymous]

Id go earlier, esp. if you have been trying in a timed way. Esp. because your periods are wacky - to me, I'd be concerned maybe you are pregnant early. Taking Charge of your Fertility generally says something like 3 months.

One idea is to try baby aspirin- google it.

[Anonymous]

It looks like I'm in the minority here but I think you need to wait. As someone with an actual fertility issue, I find it terrible that you would take up my doctor's time because you are impatient. Impatience is not an infertility diagnosis, and there are plenty of people who truly need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you tell your ob you've been trying for a year, then you've been trying for a year. Get my point?

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks like I'm in the minority here but I think you need to wait. As someone with an actual fertility issue, I find it terrible that you would take up my doctor's time because you are impatient. Impatience is not an infertility diagnosis, and there are plenty of people who truly need help.

So your advice to OP is to wait - not because that's best for her - but because that would be the best outcome for you?

[Anonymous]

I find it terrible that you would take up my doctor's time because you are impatient.

That's not logical. She's not taking up time that belongs to you, unless she's barging in in the middle of your appointment and tossing you out of the room. It's the doctor who has the right to determine how to schedule his or her time, not you. Her waiting five months or forever will not result in your doctor giving you more time. The doctor will just schedule someone else.

[Anonymous]

Also, you're making a judgment that she does not have a "legitimate fertility issue." That's something none of us know, yet.

[Anonymous]

OP, your story is a little odd. First you write a post saying you've tried for 7 months and then you say you've tried for over a year. No mention of miscarriage in original post when it's definitely important to your TTC history. I think you are talking yourself into RE treatments when it sounds like you are completely within the range of normal. DH and I tried for a little more than a year before we conceived and we were completely normal (age 32). We would have paid for a ton of unnecessary interventions had we gotten impatient. In fact, we ended up using a Clearblue easy monitor and got pregnant right away (have you tried that? some women have weird ovulation schedules, I do -- and I have never, ever had a "regular" period -- it ranges each and every month, as I think it does for some women, again in the range of normal).

Sometimes it really DOES take a while for normally fertile couples to conceive -- there are a lot of reasons for this: sometimes there's a chromosomal issue between the sperm and egg, sometimes you don't ovulate but have a period anyway, sometimes the timing is off even when you think it was perfect. There is a reason they say to wait 1 year if you're not AMA.

[Anonymous]

I might wait out the full year only because:

(a) Your age doesn't suggest you need to rush.
(b) Once you start, there isn't much going back and it can be a tough road with lots of time and money invested.
(c) You did get pregnant once before.

If it was me, I would take the next 3 months to try but not invest a lot in the trying. Give yourself this time "off" to just wait it out and have lots of fun sex around the middle of your cycle (or whenever you usually ovulate) but - maybe - leave the OPKs aside. I say this only because so many times I hear that people were surprised by success when they were taking a break and not worrying. You have the perfect situation in which you can take that break and know in three months you'll do something, so why not try?

[Anonymous]

One year is pretty standard if you are under 35 - it's not just your OB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might wait out the full year only because:

(a) Your age doesn't suggest you need to rush.
(b) Once you start, there isn't much going back and it can be a tough road with lots of time and money invested.
(c) You did get pregnant once before.

If it was me, I would take the next 3 months to try but not invest a lot in the trying. Give yourself this time "off" to just wait it out and have lots of fun sex around the middle of your cycle (or whenever you usually ovulate) but - maybe - leave the OPKs aside. I say this only because so many times I hear that people were surprised by success when they were taking a break and not worrying. You have the perfect situation in which you can take that break and know in three months you'll do something, so why not try?

People "go back" all the time. Nobody is forced to show up in the office on the first day of period or whatever.

[Anonymous]

No! If you think you have an issue, just go to the doctor and get checked out. And have your partner checked, too! It can't hurt and waiting can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might wait out the full year only because:

(a) Your age doesn't suggest you need to rush.
(b) Once you start, there isn't much going back and it can be a tough road with lots of time and money invested.
(c) You did get pregnant once before.

If it was me, I would take the next 3 months to try but not invest a lot in the trying. Give yourself this time "off" to just wait it out and have lots of fun sex around the middle of your cycle (or whenever you usually ovulate) but - maybe - leave the OPKs aside. I say this only because so many times I hear that people were surprised by success when they were taking a break and not worrying. You have the perfect situation in which you can take that break and know in three months you'll do something, so why not try?

People "go back" all the time. Nobody is forced to show up in the office on the first day of period or whatever.

I think PP is referring to the fact that if you start on the medications for IUI or IVF, it preempts your natural hormones. It's not easy to go back to trying TTC naturally, you have to wait for all the drugs to get out of your system, similar to waiting after a miscarriage. If there's not a real fertility issue, then all you've done is cost yourself a lot of money for nothing. And the only way to tell if it's an issue is to wait a year and try.

OP, have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Are you using a monitor or OPKs? Are you temping? Are you charting? I think you should examine your TTC journey more before diving into further treatments. Sometimes you can even diagnose issues yourself (like a short luteal phase) which will be helpful if you DO eventually need to go to an RE.

I guess I don't understand your panic in waiting. You're only 33. You can't want like 6 kids, right? You have PLENTY of time to try for 5 more months and then go to an RE if necessary. I'm with your husband on this one, it doesn't make sense that you're in such a hurry. I know TTC is an emotional roller coaster ride, but try to take a step back and ask yourself what harm waiting 5 months would do. Even if there is a problem, you will only be 5 months older when you get to the end of the year. You're not 38, or 40, or 42. Seriously, give it some time. You may be amazed and find yourself pregnant in a few months.