If you are unattractive by Western standards

[Anonymous]

This is interesting to me because I'm curious about what it means to be unattractive. I find the vast majority of people attractive in some way or another, if not just generally attractive. Really. Had this conversation with a male friend of mine who is nearing 40 and still single because he doesn't find himself attracted to many women. Those that are unattractive to me are usually obviously not taking care of themselves or seem to have nasty personalities (although some nasty people are still outwardly attractive, at first).

As for me, I think I'm attractive too. Of course, there are things that I'd improve if I could, but I'm generally happy with the way I look. I haven't compared myself to others for as long as I can remember-- maybe college? The other day I joked to my DD that I was going to get my hair done so I could look beautiful and she said, "But Mommy, you're always beautiful." This warmed my heart so much! Not because it made me feel great about my hair or the shape of my boobs, but because my 4 YO looks past all those things-- the wrinkles under my eyes, my small breasts, thinning hair, etc. and probably just thinks I'm beautiful because I'm her Mom.

[Anonymous]

Think like the French. They have a term: jolie laide (i think) ptetty yet ugly = fascinating. Ellen Barkin type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll bite. I am not attractive by Western standards. When I was younger, it made me very sad and insecure. I was incredibly jealous of attractive people, though never mean to anyone. I am now approaching 40 and generally far too tired to think of how I look on a relative scale. I make sure I am dressed appropriately for the occasion, and I focus on my heath and feeling my best. I am trying to pass that feeling along to my daughters.

By whose standards are you attractive? Beauty is actually measured by facial symmetry, regardless of race or ethnicity--this has been pretty widely reported/studied.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I meet the typical western standard of beauty. Short, asymmetrical face, curvy. Whatever. I've still had my share of admirers and stalkers, western and otherwise. Not everyone is attracted to the same things. I prefer men with squishy butts myself.

[Anonymous]

I think I know what the op means. For example, a couple of decades ago (not as much today) DC women who were thin, preppy and blonde were the ultimate "beauty standard." I on the otherhand, was brunette and attractive in a more mediterranean fashion. People always thought I was greek, italian or even arab. So, even though by some standards I was considered very attractive I felt insecure by the D.C. "standards."

Fast forward, I am comfortable in my own skin and I still look pretty good. Which is more than I can say for some of those D.C. women from the past who look like time ran over them with a freight train i.e. Your classic dried up teabagger lady! yeah, those women get under my skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know it, and how does it make you feel? Are you mean to good looking people? DC is supposed to be Hollywood for ugly people.

You're an idiot.

http://maddieruud.hubpages.com/hub/Standards_of_Beauty_An_Illustrated_Timeline

[Anonymous]

17:09 - ITA. The black and white JL hair only gets them so far. Looking too waspish is only appealing to certain people, and those are not who I would care to attract. Mostly because they will leave your a** for the next young waspy JL type when the time comes. No thanks. They always seem to have a smug look at me face which makes them even less appealing to most people I know.