Daycare Instituting a "Traffic Light" Punishment System

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - sorry - we just clarified with another parent that it is special "treats" not the daily afternoon snack that would be withheld. It sounds like there are equally split views here. Thanks for everyone's feedback.

I still wouldn't be okay with it.

[Anonymous]

PP who said "welcome to school" - do you believe 2.5 year olds should have the same discipline system as 6 year olds? It just doesn't make developmental sense to me. Plus I have a son like the other PPs', who would spend the entire day panicked about losing his green, never mind that he never has gotten in trouble at school before. And so he would hate school and not learn, because he would be focusing on protecting his green. It just doesn't work for some kids...though I acknowledge that no system will work perfectly for all kids. But since this one would suck for my kid I don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is the reason they are doing it is BECAUSE many public schools use this system, and it is part of the academicazation of day care and preschool. I hate the shaming aspect of it (although kids won't understand that their friends parents see it, I don't think) but most hate making everything be about getting ready for school. 2.5 year olds should just be 2.5.

I agree that this is typical in elementary school, so on the plus side, your kid will be pro when they reach kindergarten. I suggest seeing how it plays out before the rush to judgment. In my experience, there are ways to make it age appropriate. Also, most teachers my kids had made sure that kids understood that if they moved into the "yellow" zone during the course of the day, they had a chance to show positive behavior and get back up to green by the end of the day. The reality is that the majority of kids the majority of the time were in the "green" zone. Hopefully the director and the teachers will be very proactive in explaining how this system will be used, giving good hypothetical examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - sorry - we just clarified with another parent that it is special "treats" not the daily afternoon snack that would be withheld. It sounds like there are equally split views here. Thanks for everyone's feedback.

I still wouldn't be okay with it.

I agree. I don't think it matters whether it's "special treats" or a regular snack. Food as a reward/punishment would be a day care dealbreaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I don't think it matters whether it's "special treats" or a regular snack. Food as a reward/punishment would be a day care dealbreaker for me.

Oh please, like you've never said your child can't have a sweet because they did something they shouldn't? It's not about the food, it's about taking away something the child wants. They are not being malnourished, they are seeing a consequence to their action, and most likely one they don't like, and thus are less likely to do the negative action again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree. I don't think it matters whether it's "special treats" or a regular snack. Food as a reward/punishment would be a day care dealbreaker for me.

Oh please, like you've never said your child can't have a sweet because they did something they shouldn't? It's not about the food, it's about taking away something the child wants. They are not being malnourished, they are seeing a consequence to their action, and most likely one they don't like, and thus are less likely to do the negative action again.

'

Absolutely not. We will have to agree to disagree - I just don't like the idea of loading food with emotional baggage.

[Anonymous]

The idea of my child's caretakers/teachers, the people I pay to help teach and nurture my child, telling all the other parents that he's been a bad kid at the end of the day makes me feel awful. I imagine going to pick him up at the end of the day and feeling publicly shamed . . . I'd feel badly for both of us. I think if he were always getting a good review, I'd probably be less sensitive, but I know my child and he can sometimes act up. And if he got a lot of bad marks, it would make me question whether his caregivers have decided they don't like my little guy or have pigeonholed him as a behavior problem. Maybe this is a good system for some, but it offends my instincts as a parent and I'd probably seek out other arrangements. And the idea of withholding snacks - so while I'm at work wondering how my kid's day is going, I get to worry whether he's being intentionally excluded and singled out BY THE TEACHERS as the bad kid. Great.

[Anonymous]

Is this daycare for real? No food as punishment? And on top of that, we are talking about a 2.5 year old! Not that this is appropriate at any age...
Where is this daycare, please? London, 1800s???

[Anonymous]

And if he got a lot of bad marks, it would make me question whether his caregivers have decided they don't like my little guy or have pigeonholed him as a behavior problem.

I agree with everything you said. The unfortunate thing, however, is that they system would only be drawing your attention to the fact that the teachers may have pigeonholed him as a behavior problem. Teachers definitely do this with or without the system. I can tell by the tone of my son's teacher's voice when she speaks to certain children that she isn't as fond of them as other kids. When we went in for parent teacher conferences, she said at the beginning, "this should be easy because your son is not a problem kid," indicating that she felt others were.

[Anonymous]

I was pretty shocked to read this. I forwarded the link to a friend who is a preschool director for the same agegroup as the OP's child. Her response - Gasp, what a wildly developmentally inappropriate approach!

I'd be looking for a new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And if he got a lot of bad marks, it would make me question whether his caregivers have decided they don't like my little guy or have pigeonholed him as a behavior problem.

I agree with everything you said. The unfortunate thing, however, is that they system would only be drawing your attention to the fact that the teachers may have pigeonholed him as a behavior problem. Teachers definitely do this with or without the system. I can tell by the tone of my son's teacher's voice when she speaks to certain children that she isn't as fond of them as other kids. When we went in for parent teacher conferences, she said at the beginning, "this should be easy because your son is not a problem kid," indicating that she felt others were.

I think you're right - it's human nature to prefer one kid over another, and a problem child is probably not going to be a teacher's favorite. That said, I'm definitely not comfortable having that preference widely advertised to other parents, and if my child needs extra incentive to behave better, that should be a private conversation between me, my child, and the teacher. Other parents may not pay attention to the bad marks, and the other kids may not care too much that my kid is being denied snacks, but it would make ME feel awful and it would almost certainly make MY CHILD feel awful, so the fact that other parents don't really care is not particularly comforting (although you're probably right - although I'd probably be a little nosey and glace at the marks other kids were getting - that, too, is human nature).

[Anonymous]

When my oldest was about 4 yo, I really wished his daycare had some card or traffic light system. He was having some behavior problems and a color coded card would've allowed us to easily know what his day was like and if we needed to talk with his teacher. Ideally, I think I would've rather seen cards put in a cubby than posted on wall. But I understand kids need visual reminders. I wanted the cards more for dealing out my own consequences (rather than the school imposing them).

But, 2-3 yo maybe too young for a traffic light system. My youngest is almost 3 and I don't think it would work at all for him as an incentive/disincentive. (But maybe I'm not giving him enough credit.)

[Anonymous]

My DD goes to a preschool (it happens to be Montessori) where discipline is done very, very well. There are consequences for poor behavior, but usually it involves a "chill out" during which time the child is removed from the situation and brings him/herself to calm. Children are taught to explain and reason about how they feel and what they do. The teachers are warm, but they are very clear that their task -- and the task of the young children -- is to learn to be effective and polite members of a group.

There is no "traffic light" system in place. There is no public behavior chart or humuliation. The idea is that children have a limited but expanding set of coping, self regulation and socilization skills, and teachers are to be sensitive to that (create environments that aren't too taxing for kids) and to help children develop skills they need.

If a child is going through a particularly challenging phase (as all kids eventually will, often several times) the Ts will communicate this with the parents and talk about how it's being handled. For example, my DD was having trouble respective other people's space, hugging too hard and too often. Another child was/is very shy and withdrawn in big groups, although he is socially functional one on one. A third child is extremely bright and a bit bossy, interrupting other children as they are figuring things out she already understands.

Not a big fan of public behavior indicators.

[Anonymous]

It seems like people object to the public display of their child's behavior. Don't send your child to public schools because many of them have some form of this system for anyone to see. I agree that it shouldn't be used for this age group and food (or withholding it) should never be part of it.

[Anonymous]

I think the age is too young for these kind of consequences, and food shouldn't be leveraged as punishment. At 2.5 - 3, kids are struggling with impulse control and this kind of discipline isn't effective.