How do I get child's father involved?

[Anonymous]

Call Maury and see if he can help you out.

[Anonymous]

First things first - prove who IS the father. You know sperm can live in the body for almost five days. You may be stressing over the wrong issue (daddy).

The daddy may want to be involved.

[Anonymous]

There really is nothing the courts can do to make your child's father be involved. When I was in court for cs and custody, I asked the judge to order ex dh to help with school pick-up, a regular visitation schedule, etc. The judge told me that even if she put it in the order, there really was nothing she could do to enforce it. She also could read my ex dh pretty well and told me that rather than try to rely on him to help, I needed to make other arrangements that were reliable. I know it sucks but try to make sure your male family members take an interest in your db and spend time with him. Maybe one day when db older, dad will come around and want to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

If it is in fact the same person, you said in the other legal forum that your new man, who you plan to marry soon would like to adopt your son.
I would think, since your "friend" doesn't want anything to do with you and your child, he would be ok with it.
Though first you'd have to prove paternity, I guess.
And why would you want him involved on your child's life if he clearly doesn't wait to be. Your child will notice in some way that he's not interested.
Just have your new man, who you say is taking over the daddy part adopt your child and give him a stable family. Unless its about the money from the cs and not the best interest of the child...

[Anonymous]

Yes. F him. Get that $. And rely on the real man in your life.

[Anonymous]

Probably the new relationship is not as great as to take care of financial issues

[Anonymous]

sounds like it's just all about the money. the harassing and trying to get him involved is just a foot in the door to try to get him to just give her money without going to court. maybe hoping to get together so he can support her too. her new relationship probably isn't producing the money she wanted. so when that didnt work she files for cs. figures.

[Anonymous]

OP - Aren't you afraid that if the father becomes involved he could hold your behavior with several men at one time against your ability to parent to gain custody?

[Anonymous]

You don't get your child's father involved. You move on. Children aren't meal tickets and some men want zero involvement--c'est la vie.

You need to figure out a way to make money and be stable for your child. The sooner you realize that you are better off if it's all on you, the better. Making your child's life one full of love and comfort can only ever assuredly come from you.

I understand where you are... I have wigged out about child support in the past. Then I accepted the fact that my ex will lie about his income; based upon my similar declared income, I will get next to nothing. I now count on nothing. I literally don't ever expect a check, I have to be able to support our entire lifestyle FULLY without his money. The rest is fluff.



Signed,

A Single Mom Who Begged For More Child Support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Aren't you afraid that if the father becomes involved he could hold your behavior with several men at one time against your ability to parent to gain custody?

She wasn't with several men at one time, geez. And, a woman/man can sleep with 100 people and still be a good parent, but I guess to someone as narrow minded as you, that concept is unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sounds like it's just all about the money. the harassing and trying to get him involved is just a foot in the door to try to get him to just give her money without going to court. maybe hoping to get together so he can support her too. her new relationship probably isn't producing the money she wanted. so when that didnt work she files for cs. figures.

You for got to sign- bitter cheated on GF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't get your child's father involved. You move on. Children aren't meal tickets and some men want zero involvement--c'est la vie.

You need to figure out a way to make money and be stable for your child. The sooner you realize that you are better off if it's all on you, the better. Making your child's life one full of love and comfort can only ever assuredly come from you.

I understand where you are... I have wigged out about child support in the past. Then I accepted the fact that my ex will lie about his income; based upon my similar declared income, I will get next to nothing. I now count on nothing. I literally don't ever expect a check, I have to be able to support our entire lifestyle FULLY without his money. The rest is fluff.



Signed,

A Single Mom Who Begged For More Child Support

Ignore above. Get the order and let them haul him to jail if he doesn't pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sounds like it's just all about the money. the harassing and trying to get him involved is just a foot in the door to try to get him to just give her money without going to court. maybe hoping to get together so he can support her too. her new relationship probably isn't producing the money she wanted. so when that didnt work she files for cs. figures.

You for got to sign- bitter cheated on GF

uh nope, not me! I'm just calling it like I see it. This chickie is a greedy, needy, drama addicted ho. I feel bad for all the kids involved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't get your child's father involved. You move on. Children aren't meal tickets and some men want zero involvement--c'est la vie.

You need to figure out a way to make money and be stable for your child. The sooner you realize that you are better off if it's all on you, the better. Making your child's life one full of love and comfort can only ever assuredly come from you.

I understand where you are... I have wigged out about child support in the past. Then I accepted the fact that my ex will lie about his income; based upon my similar declared income, I will get next to nothing. I now count on nothing. I literally don't ever expect a check, I have to be able to support our entire lifestyle FULLY without his money. The rest is fluff.



Signed,

A Single Mom Who Begged For More Child Support

Ignore above. Get the order and let them haul him to jail if he doesn't pay.

Hahahahahahaha! If only it actually worked that way.

File for CS, but don't EVER count on it. Esp if the father doesn't want anything to do with DC or if he's unreliable at all. Figure out how to make it work on your own.

I get CS, but I only get it about 50% of the time. My XH (we were married, not just a one-night-stand) refused to pay for over a year and racked up almost $10K in arrears before child support enforcement caught up to him. He paid for a year, and recently stopped again. Enforcement wouldn't do a thing until he was 3mo behind, which he knew, so the 4th month (after getting a letter from them), he sent in a check. Then nothing again.

I've learned to not rely on any money from him (and yes, I do need it). When I get it, it goes towards savings or debt. XH is also in and out of DC's life, appearing every 2-6mo or so for a weekend or a month of normal visits. To be perfectly honest, the half-in-half-out is horrible. It screws DC up. I wish he'd either step up or step out. Just be consistent.

Anyway, you cannot force him to be an involved father and while you can get an order for him to pay, be aware that there are ways to game the system. If he's going to be unreliable, you need to look at him as an 'extra' for your child, not someone to be depended on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Aren't you afraid that if the father becomes involved he could hold your behavior with several men at one time against your ability to parent to gain custody?

Silly PP unless she exposes the kid to these men that can't even be mentioned in court. Face facts you troll . This man needs to pay support!