Retaining a child in first grade - turned out good/bad for your child? please help

[Anonymous]

Ok - slightly different perspective. Our DS was behind in first grade relative to other kids, although it was mainly reading. reading is in math word problems too - so that impacted math. DS had some medical issues in K , 1st, where he missed some large chunks of school too. Socially he was fine, tested as very bright, etc. we never considered retaining, but we did make a big concerted effort to work with DS to make sure he was on track. we took a long view of being on track by 3rd grade which is when they switch from learning to read to reading to learn. we were upfront with him that he had a lot of talents, but some of his talents made it harder in other areas and he would need to do extra work.

summer vacation and breaks were a great time to do catch up at a relaxed pace - lots of reading and reading things DS liked. He made leaps and loved the one on one time. easy to get math facts down. we didn't do tutors - would have hated that, but I did research and experimented with what worked for him. we didn't really get him fully on grade level (relative to peers in this area where everyone is ahead)- until 2nd grade summer. fast forward, end of 3rd grade, slightly above reading level (but we still work at it) - but a great student with very good study habits. DS very proud of the work he has done and very goal oriented. I don't think this would work for every personality, but his sense of pride, self-awareness, and willing to work hard seems to be a good life lesson.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

I would switch er to private school..even for a year or two and them go back to public in the adjusted grade.

[Anonymous]

It somewhat depends on what you have time and/or money for. My DC had motor delays and it took 2 years to straighten out, but I'm glad we didn't hold back. Now everything is great. If she's bright, she'll catch up. Lots of kids study harder and are then way above the curve.

[Anonymous]

20:59. Sorry, I forgot which book I read, I read a dozen books last year regarding the twice exceptional kids (like my son). It might be:"Why bright kids get low grade" but I am not sure. It basically says: K is too basic to repeat, while 1st grade will give the kids real foundation and if repeat, repeat the 1st grade. That is what the book says, personally, each parent makes different decision.

[Anonymous]

Don't retain. Get an IEP if she is falling behind academically. The school will help her. But with someone socially aware, holding back could be a huge problem.
Get an IEP! Work on those issues that Children's hospital found and write them up. Share the report with the school.

[Anonymous]

My nephew has been in the hospital most of his life missing sometimes a third of the school year with a heart transplant and so forth and still manages to keep up in school and is graduating just about on time (over the summer instead of in May). I wouldn't think one year would be a huge problem over the course of her entire schooling.

[Anonymous]

I would retain her and give her the gift of time. It is so difficult to catch up sometimes and so stressful. much better she is on the top of her class and likes learning than being at the bottom and not like school. I totally relate to you because we are going through the same thing with our summer first grader now. it was such a hard decision but we will retain. best wishes for you

[Anonymous]

(Former) teacher here--- I have retained very very very few kids in my years if teaching. I have recommended it very few times, too. But, when I do recommend it, and the child is actually held back (with hugeeeee parental support), it always winds up being a godsend for the child, it's amazing. If u and the teacher think its right, you make sure it happens! If ur not sure, or hesitant, don't do it! But if its needed, the difference for the child is wonderful!

[Anonymous]

Ps-- I taught first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would retain her and give her the gift of time. It is so difficult to catch up sometimes and so stressful. much better she is on the top of her class and likes learning than being at the bottom and not like school. I totally relate to you because we are going through the same thing with our summer first grader now. it was such a hard decision but we will retain. best wishes for you

This thread is over a year old. It seems like this boat has sailed one way or the other. Why bring up these old threads?