Anyone else can't bear to read reports?
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Anonymous
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I have cried through reports. I have put off reading reports for months. I have had heart palpatations just receiving reports.
These days I am OK, but that could change tomorrow or in a year. My attitude lately is I don't care if I agree with the report, this better get me the services I want. I don't care as much if the examiner screwed up or if professionals out there think my kid has the ability of a turnip and the personality of an avocado. I don't care if they think a wild monkey can sit still better than he can. I'll worry about that stuff down the line-I just want my free services and I want my insurance to reimburse for services I get outside the school sytem. I think I've deluded myself into assuming one day after my SN child graduates from college I will tell the story at his graduation celebration about how during his early intervention and elementary school years they thought he had the IQ of a rodent and the attention span of a flea but we persevered and got services and he proved them all wrong. |
Anonymous
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I have felt and continue to feel same OP.
Recommend Xanax. |
Anonymous
| 18:22 again...as pp poster noted a xanex can help or a glass of wine, just don't mix the 2. I try to avoid xanex unless it's an emergency, usually a glass of wine does the trick and perhaps helps me delude myself into thinking it will all go away. |
Anonymous
| I also avoid xanax, but have found they are helpful before iep meetings. |
Anonymous
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I hate reading a report that I paid huge sums of money for and finding it to be relatively ineffective or inaccurate or does not leave enough information so that a therapist can carry out a treatment plan. Examples -- reports that include recommendations for specific types of therapies that are unsupported by the scientific literature or controversial, reports that don't include clear recommendations about what kind of special instruction is necessary, reports which come without enough data for a therapist to formulate a treatment plan, reports that include recommendations that teachers read certain books (that's not gonna happen and it doesn't translate into an academic plan).
I'm not anxious about my child's disorders. It is what it is. But, it makes me crazy the amount of money that people feel comfortable taking for product that is not all that helpful. Shame on them. |
Anonymous
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I really dislike the reports that candidly state how it is ad rate my son on a scale. The medical reports, the state testing reports, etc. They are hard to read. They are like smack of reality. I cried when the doctor went over the neurospysch evaluation on my son last year. He was so kind, but the results were what they were.
However, this is information we have to have in order to plan and yes, I'll say it even though I'll probably get accused of setting my son up for failure, to set reasonable expectations for us and him. |
Anonymous
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18:22: I have similar delusions. Probably thanks to all those heartwarming TV shows, news segments, and anecdotal I hear from well-intentioned colleagues, friends and family about the child that everybody labeled some way or the doctors said would never do X, yet becomes a brain surgeon.
I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. |
Anonymous
Edline is a constant reminder to me that the teachers at my kid's middle school could give a rat's ass if my kid learns anything at school. They seem to get a sadistic glee out of sending a big fat F into your mail box on Friday and Saturday afternoon when you have no way of contacting them for a clarification of how your kid can improve his grade. If a smart child is failing, they don't seem to get that it the teacher's failure as well. They ignore my kid or assume he is doing nothing--yet when I go into class and actually force them to examine what he has done, 9 times out of 10 he has done the work but gotten caught up in some minor protocol problem--failed to follow through with some control freak type rule. I hate having to force teachers to be accountable for what they are (or in most cases are not) teaching my son. |
Anonymous
Ohhhh yeah! There are a lot of "shame on them" worthy people. I try to focus on all the helpful professionals for my own sanity, but there are quite a few professionals who I think take advantage. |
Anonymous
| I don't mean for this to sound disturbing, but I feel so much better after reading this thread. I thought I was the only one who avoids reading reports and report cards. It just feels like a kick in the gut when I do. I just feel weak, but sometimes I just can't do it. |
Anonymous
I'm really sorry for you PP. My MS experience is just the opposite. It is the first time that anyone made an effort to understand his needs and they went over and above what he was entitled to with services and supports to make him successful. and, the guidance staff has been invaluable with helping my son follow through with turning in his work. For me, I can finally let go. |
Anonymous
OMG. Can I just say that I feel this way with my oldest even though she is a good student w/o any disabilities? I hate Edline. Teachers have posted incorrect grades or don't post grades in forever or lose papers and then give my child a zero or they downgrade for not doing something that wasn't on the rubric. Thankfully, the rest of her grades are good, so she can survive an E here or there, but in the meanwhile, she is freaking out until she can figure out what happened and make up for it. In general, at her middle school magnet, we have found most of the teachers to be passive-aggressive control freaks who seem to confuse being a tough teacher with being a nit-picking drill sargent. Teachers are constantly checking for ridiculous things. Why are there 7 different paper setup formats (margins, type font, type size, etc.)? Is that really necessary? Why give grading rubrics out if they are not followed? Why not post homework assignments on Edline regularly? Why give my child crap about making up an assignment when I've sent a note in that she was ill? Why have random binder checks worth points to see if all children are carrying all handouts and assignments from the entire year? WTF? It's June -- does my child really need to have the Sept. 14th English quiz in her binder? If you gave a due date for a permission slip, why engage in public humiliation of each student every day until it's turned in? I could go on and on. In general, I find teachers who substitute form or process-based strictness are generally trying to make up for a lack of substance. Yes, kids need to follow the rules, but the rules and consequences also need to be necessary and social/emotionally appropriate. I fear middle school for my youngest child who is ADD-inattentive and has other issues. If even a straight-A, rules following genius can be dragged down emotionally by the petty dictatorship of middle school, I can't imagine how our youngest will be make it through with his self-esteem intact let alone good grades. FWIW, I try to keep in mind both of my brothers, who both probably had different kinds of disabilities, who both did crappy in school, and both of whom became independent successful contributing members of society .... |
Anonymous
My DS is at a DCPS MS--a well regarded one, too. @ of his teachers have gone above and beyond while 2 others have made my life and his a swirling hell of disappointment and recriminations. They act as though his dx is a minor handicap and they are just annoyed with him. I cry my eyes out and I feel like such a sh*t heel every time I get into it with them or him. It is an endless, relentless cycle. Sorry to hijack. |
Anonymous
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Thank you all so much. We are new to LD/dyslexia and ADD with 1st grader. (Other child is high performing academically.) Reports have been a rollercoaster. So many positive comments about our DC's lovely disposition and engaging personality. (He's always been a charmer.) But the constant testing, data "inconsistencies" and conflicting assessments are confusing and frustrating.
DC has become a pro at testing. He'll do anything for a sticker or lollipop. I can recite the boilerplate copied from report to report by heart. Then there's the "previous scores are inconsistent with this provider's scores because I have a PhD blah blah blah". Enough! I'm going on a report strike. |
Anonymous
| So, as a psychologist who does testing and writes those reports, what would you have me do differently. I try to focus on strengths as well as weaknesses, and to explain the patterns within those inconsistencies. But if a child has real issues, they have to be explained. And, if I focus too hard on strengths, I'm decreasing the chances that the school will come through with services. Is there an answer, or is it just how it is? |