My child is marrying a looser

[Anonymous]

Why are you paying for the wedding? You are still a parent--don't encourage your child to do something you think will be detrimental to their well-being. They can still get married. My husband and I paid for our own wedding and are still married 25 years later. Your daughter and her fiance need to own their decision. What better way than to pay for their own wedding?

[Anonymous]

I hope you don't have loser grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

WTF is a "looser"?

[Anonymous]

Someone with a degree in early childhood development, working with disabled children as a teacher, or a botanist/horticulturist, or a police officer, or caught up in the army.

[Anonymous]

^^^ that is not my definition of a loser. A loser is someone who is not ambitious and does not treat my child with respect.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others. You don't have to finance the wedding. I also agree with your idea to not try to convince her to break up. You can share your thoughts, but I would also say whatever she decided you are behind her.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others, pull the finances. If he really is a loser then they won't "be able" to get married and things will fizzle.

[Anonymous]

Felt the same 15 yrs ago. Was advised then to keep mouth shut. She's the earner, he's never made a good living, but her job requires extensive travel and pays well into 6 figures and he's a great househusband and father with our grandsons Wife & I still think of him as numnuts but it works for them

[Anonymous]

if you can't spell "loser" then you can't credibly rag on your daughter's BF IMO. ...

[Anonymous]

Depends on your definition of loser.
If he is disrespectful to her, or worse, then yes, pull the funding
If by loser, you mean he went to junior college and isn't a doctor or lawyer, then no, don't pull the funding.
My parents thought my bf was a pot smoking loser, 15 years later we have 2 kids and are very happy and he is successful

[Anonymous]

You are not the one marrying the looser so back off and let your daughter suffer the consequences or live happily ever after. Sadly you already lived your life, and you can not live your daughters life.

[Anonymous]

OP, DO NOT pay for the wedding. I have no plans to pay for my children's wedding even if they marry nice people...but you should also not pay for any more kids' weddings.

[Anonymous]

My daughter's fiancé is on disability for mental illness and they live with his parents! I thought getting married meant you were ready to stand on your own two feet. So I voiced my concerns and now I'll keep my mouth shut, grin and bear it, but I don't know if I'll help with wedding expenses. My father's parting words when he died: "Do not enable your children." OK, Dad, you were right. ---sad Texas mom

[Anonymous]

Depends on your definition of loser.

If he is disrespectful to her, or worse, then yes, pull the funding
If by loser, you mean he went to junior college and isn't a doctor or lawyer, then no, don't pull the funding.

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[Anonymous]

I know. It's so sad when a child only wants to marry someone just like their parents.