how long after delivery did you wait to start having sex again - and was it painful?

[Anonymous]

I'd say 8-10 weeks after my first. It was awful at first--but I had a tear that was just shy of 4th degree. It got better over time, but it definitely took time. It went from pain to discomfort over a couple of months. The first several times, DH only got a few minutes of not-even-fin. After DC #2, less tearing (2nd degree), started at about the same time, not nearly as painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say 8-10 weeks after my first. It was awful at first--but I had a tear that was just shy of 4th degree. It got better over time, but it definitely took time. It went from pain to discomfort over a couple of months. The first several times, DH only got a few minutes of not-even-fin. After DC #2, less tearing (2nd degree), started at about the same time, not nearly as painful.

...uh, that was "fun", not fin (lest your imaginations were running places they needed go!).

[Anonymous]

My understanding is that most women don't experience the same kind of natural lubrication when they are still breastfeeding - hence the advice on all the help in that department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone doesn't mind saying, what is it about sex while nursing that, even with lots of lubrication, causes pain?

Sex while nursing is not automatically painful! I am one of the PPs talking about lube, and I didn't mean to imply that at all. But as another PP said, something about the hormones can make you have less natural lubrication, thus the need for more artificial lube. *Especially* when you are first getting back into having sex. But for me it was never *painful*, just a little... I dunno, tender? And soon it felt great again, and I kept nursing for many months after that.

So nursing + good sex = totally possible!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My understanding is that most women don't experience the same kind of natural lubrication when they are still breastfeeding - hence the advice on all the help in that department.

Right, but that doesn't explain why people are having pain after they use sufficient lubrication.

[Anonymous]

In response to the PP...For a lot of women who nurse, the hormones cause dryness and low sex drive so while lubricant can help (and is all a lot of women need), sex can still be painful or not as enjoyable because your body isn't revved up for it, if you will. I think there's a big range of how sex is for nursing moms, but this was my experience until I got my period back at about 10 mos. PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone doesn't mind saying, what is it about sex while nursing that, even with lots of lubrication, causes pain?

The hormones. The increased levels of hormones dries you out and makes it uber painful...even w/lube.

As soon as I weaned, it was MUCH better.

[Anonymous]

I nursed my daughter for almost 2 years and got my period back when she was 12 1/2 months old. I found that once I got my period back, it was MUCH better. Before that, no amount of lube made it comfortable for me!