Anger towards twice exceptional kids getting benefits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those 2E parents out there-how is AAP working for you? I have a second grader in the pool, has combined type ADHD and IEP and doing really well on meds this year. We saw DC's AAP file recently and an acceptance seems likely based on the teacher recs.

I want DC to stay engaged and do well without being overwhelmed-currently DC is advanced in math buT has had reading struggles, currently at grade level. For those in a similar position, did your child do well at the center? Where did you experience difficulty?

My 2E kid is doing great in the Center with a 504 (vs. an IEP) although she is advanced in math and in reading. She had issues with spelling, however, and has finally caught up with her classmates (especially thanks to Caesar's English).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those 2E parents out there-how is AAP working for you? I have a second grader in the pool, has combined type ADHD and IEP and doing really well on meds this year. We saw DC's AAP file recently and an acceptance seems likely based on the teacher recs.

I want DC to stay engaged and do well without being overwhelmed-currently DC is advanced in math but has had reading struggles, currently at grade level. For those in a similar position, did your child do well at the center? Where did you experience difficulty?

I have a 4th grader in AAP who has ADHD combined type. His academics were always very strong in both reading and math though. He is thriving academically (all A's in academics so far this year). They recently finished the Caesars English workbook (I loved this), which may be a challenge if you have reading issues., but perhaps this different way of learning things might be helpful.

For us, the difficulties are the same as they have always been, with organization, impulsivity (not aggressive), and attention/focus. We are working through some medication trials right now...so far, have not found any magic ticket. My son is in a LLIV, and I am seriously contemplating the center for next year, hoping that these teachers may have more experience and techniques for working with children with ADHD. His teacher and I talk frequently (he has a 504 plan) and though he often seems to be unfocused, or reading when he is supposed to be paying attention, she said he always knows the answer when she calls on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: benefits is a poor choice of words. Yes, they are services but some non IEP parents seem to consider them benefits!

neuro typical - when you've seen psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, they use this term and thats were we learned it. It means normal children.

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just learned that some parents get very annoyed with children who are in AAP and have IEP's. But they don't seem to get as annoyed with children who aren't in AAP but have IEP's. I wondered why. I can't ask them directly without really picking a fight so I thought an anonymous forum is a better place to get the answer.

And the issue requiring the IEP is inattentiveness.

Then let's just use that phrase. We're not psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, so to pepper conversations about SN kids with phrases like "neuro typical" is just ... not normal. In fact, it feels like a contortion.

Yeah OP, I think you're being a bit obnoxious. "twice exceptional" and "neuro-typical"? Maybe the problem is the other parents just don't like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: benefits is a poor choice of words. Yes, they are services but some non IEP parents seem to consider them benefits!

neuro typical - when you've seen psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, they use this term and thats were we learned it. It means normal children.

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just learned that some parents get very annoyed with children who are in AAP and have IEP's. But they don't seem to get as annoyed with children who aren't in AAP but have IEP's. I wondered why. I can't ask them directly without really picking a fight so I thought an anonymous forum is a better place to get the answer.

And the issue requiring the IEP is inattentiveness.

Then let's just use that phrase. We're not psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, so to pepper conversations about SN kids with phrases like "neuro typical" is just ... not normal. In fact, it feels like a contortion.

Yeah OP, I think you're being a bit obnoxious. "twice exceptional" and "neuro-typical"? Maybe the problem is the other parents just don't like you.

Not the OP but 'neuro-typical' really doesn't mean 'normal'. It means the child doesn't have neurological conditions - ADHD, ASD, etc are neurological conditions. There are lots of other ways of being weird or bitchy but still be neurotypical. You don't have to be a psychiatrist, neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician to use it. Just because you don't know what it means, lots of other people do. Same thing with 'twice exceptional'. It's not like it's a compliment. Calling the OP obnoxious is uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: benefits is a poor choice of words. Yes, they are services but some non IEP parents seem to consider them benefits!

neuro typical - when you've seen psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, they use this term and thats were we learned it. It means normal children.

I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just learned that some parents get very annoyed with children who are in AAP and have IEP's. But they don't seem to get as annoyed with children who aren't in AAP but have IEP's. I wondered why. I can't ask them directly without really picking a fight so I thought an anonymous forum is a better place to get the answer.

And the issue requiring the IEP is inattentiveness.

Then let's just use that phrase. We're not psychiatrists or neuropsychologists, so to pepper conversations about SN kids with phrases like "neuro typical" is just ... not normal. In fact, it feels like a contortion.

Yeah OP, I think you're being a bit obnoxious. "twice exceptional" and "neuro-typical"? Maybe the problem is the other parents just don't like you.

OP here. I'm so used to using 'neurotypical' which is why I used it here. If it upsets people that much, no big deal, I'll use the word 'normal' instead. I didn't use it to come across as obnoxious, it's a habit of both DH and mine after hearing it so many times. Yes kids can also be weird and bitchy but the kind of problems that seem to warrant the IEP is the neurological problems.

[Anonymous]

This whole issue is going to become increasingly annoying and frustrating as my kids get older.

I believe there are many neurological issues where children need extra service but from what I see a lot of them just need plain ole' discipline, routines, and some time to mature. Some of it is personality and the kids need to learn to control their behaviors in certain situations. My mother swears I would have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, had that term been around back then, but I didn't receive any services except constant redirection and discipline with these issues. Guess what? As I got older I learned through discipline what was acceptable and what was not or I lost out on privileges or was disciplined in other ways if I could not control myself.

I didn't get straight A's in school but once I learned how to recognize my behaviors and control them I did a lot better. No one made EXCUSES for me and I developing coping techniques that worked for me. My parents were also not determined that I get straight A’s any way possible!

As an adult I am still very talkative, I still get distracted easily, and I have a gazillion thoughts in my head at one time. I have also earned advanced science degrees and hold a fairly senior position at work for my age. I also know that if I want to continue to succeed at work and balance family life I will always have to check in with myself to make sure I am on task, I will always be obsessed with list (I have lists of list that I need to make), and most importantly I know that my behavior is my responsibility.

The real world will not be as accommodating as the schools are and I think it’s a lesson kids should learn early so they can develop true life skills. Their jobs will not give them exceptions and alternative plans for their workday because they have ADHD. It’s also along the lines that everyone gets a trophy and is always a winner.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 12:57. "neuro-typical" is the standard phrase used by almost every professional we've come across to describe a kid who does not have neurological issues/ disabilities. It's becoming as common a phrase as "special needs." It's really not obnoxious to say it. I'm sure you'll hear it a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole issue is going to become increasingly annoying and frustrating as my kids get older.

I believe there are many neurological issues where children need extra service but from what I see a lot of them just need plain ole' discipline, routines, and some time to mature. Some of it is personality and the kids need to learn to control their behaviors in certain situations. My mother swears I would have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, had that term been around back then, but I didn't receive any services except constant redirection and discipline with these issues. Guess what? As I got older I learned through discipline what was acceptable and what was not or I lost out on privileges or was disciplined in other ways if I could not control myself.

I didn't get straight A's in school but once I learned how to recognize my behaviors and control them I did a lot better. No one made EXCUSES for me and I developing coping techniques that worked for me. My parents were also not determined that I get straight A’s any way possible!

As an adult I am still very talkative, I still get distracted easily, and I have a gazillion thoughts in my head at one time. I have also earned advanced science degrees and hold a fairly senior position at work for my age. I also know that if I want to continue to succeed at work and balance family life I will always have to check in with myself to make sure I am on task, I will always be obsessed with list (I have lists of list that I need to make), and most importantly I know that my behavior is my responsibility.

The real world will not be as accommodating as the schools are and I think it’s a lesson kids should learn early so they can develop true life skills. Their jobs will not give them exceptions and alternative plans for their workday because they have ADHD. It’s also along the lines that everyone gets a trophy and is always a winner.

I know what you mean! When my dad was in the military, there was no such thing as PTSD. Yeah, war is hell but you did your duty, came home and got on with your life. Nowadays, all these soldiers are coming home, claiming they're impaired because of PTSD when really they just need to buck up and show a little mental fortitude. It's gotten so much easier for them to claim PTSD disability and then not have to get a job because they get disability benefits. Why all of a sudden these claims? Why don't they develop some coping strategies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole issue is going to become increasingly annoying and frustrating as my kids get older.

I believe there are many neurological issues where children need extra service but from what I see a lot of them just need plain ole' discipline, routines, and some time to mature. Some of it is personality and the kids need to learn to control their behaviors in certain situations. My mother swears I would have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, had that term been around back then, but I didn't receive any services except constant redirection and discipline with these issues. Guess what? As I got older I learned through discipline what was acceptable and what was not or I lost out on privileges or was disciplined in other ways if I could not control myself.

I didn't get straight A's in school but once I learned how to recognize my behaviors and control them I did a lot better. No one made EXCUSES for me and I developing coping techniques that worked for me. My parents were also not determined that I get straight A’s any way possible!

As an adult I am still very talkative, I still get distracted easily, and I have a gazillion thoughts in my head at one time. I have also earned advanced science degrees and hold a fairly senior position at work for my age. I also know that if I want to continue to succeed at work and balance family life I will always have to check in with myself to make sure I am on task, I will always be obsessed with list (I have lists of list that I need to make), and most importantly I know that my behavior is my responsibility.

The real world will not be as accommodating as the schools are and I think it’s a lesson kids should learn early so they can develop true life skills. Their jobs will not give them exceptions and alternative plans for their workday because they have ADHD. It’s also along the lines that everyone gets a trophy and is always a winner.

I know what you mean! When my dad was in the military, there was no such thing as PTSD. Yeah, war is hell but you did your duty, came home and got on with your life. Nowadays, all these soldiers are coming home, claiming they're impaired because of PTSD when really they just need to buck up and show a little mental fortitude. It's gotten so much easier for them to claim PTSD disability and then not have to get a job because they get disability benefits. Why all of a sudden these claims? Why don't they develop some coping strategies?

People aren't all cookie cutter in terms of their coping strategies, which is why some people buckle under the strain and stress of war and killing and others don't and which is also why some kids can learn quite well in a busy classroom with 30 children and others just can't. What was before described as immaturity is now better understood to be neurological immaturity, not a failure to receive a kick in the butt or enough disciplinary measures. Some children, no matter how much you discipline them, can not learn well. Disciplining a child for problems that are neurological and that he truly can't help could make for an angry frustrated child. I had ADHD as a child too but was never dx with it. I learned to cope too. But I wish I had someone teaching me coping skills much earlier on rather than trying to figure it out by myself and getting bad grades while I was trying to figure it all out alone.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you would be in AAP though if you had been able to cope better? I'm afraid of AAP now after hearing about all the twice exceptional children there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with 12:57. "neuro-typical" is the standard phrase used by almost every professional we've come across to describe a kid who does not have neurological issues/ disabilities. It's becoming as common a phrase as "special needs." It's really not obnoxious to say it. I'm sure you'll hear it a lot more.

Oh Lord.

Let's keep the language plain, shall we?

You have normal children and children who don't behave normally.

The "neuro-typical" label is a deliberate exercise in PC language policing by parents who think the inverse of "normal" is "abnormal" and don't like to think of their children as "abnormal" so they cling to the clincial terminology.

That's my $0.02.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm afraid of AAP now after hearing about all the twice exceptional children there.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this thread is unbelieveable. First the criticism of usage of terms that are constantly used right here on DCUM (albeit on the Special Needs board). You would think parents would appreciate learning new terminology that might help them better understand children who are different than theirs. Next, the parents who are sure that all ADHD issues are due to parents being neglectful of discipline (I wish it was that simple, but good to know you are a developmental pediatrician or psychiatrist), but best of all, the parents who are afraid of children with special needs and do not want their special snowflakes in class with anyone except perfect little robots. Stay away from AAP if you like, it will make the class size smaller. In the meantime, my ds earned his spot just like anyone else, though perhaps not, since I did not have to pay for a WISC to get him in. His teachers (and test scores) recogized his potential, in spite of his neurological issues.

[Anonymous]

Smart, creative kids are often different types of learners and need the GT services the most.....the curriculum is as much of the problem as the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: they don't take away anything the neuro typical children need.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by this? Special education spending consumed a large portion of the increase in education funding, I;ve seen estimates as high as 40 percent of the increase. So spending on these programs do crowd out spending in other areas.