Destination Wedding Etiquette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am invited to a destination wedding in July in fort lauderdale Fl -- I am not able to go as we have another wedding the same weekend. (4th of july) Neither the bride nor groom have family there. Just wanted sometype of destination.

The bride (who lives here) Also wants a destination Bachelorette party since the groom is going to Vegas and decided to have it in fort lauderdale as well. 2 weeks before the wedding.

The same group of people are invited to both (all from DC/NYC) but most cannot make both trips. The Bride told us if we couldn't come to the wedding don't come to the bachelorette.... but then when she realized that many people fell into that catagory and said oh nevermind... come to that too. (she wants a big party)

I think its crazy she expects us all to drop lots of money, twice in less than 3 weeks! Sorry for the vent.

I've been invited to a wedding in the Carribean this summer on a WEDNESDAY. Bride is planning a bachelorette for herself in Florida. Bride is not happy that so many people are declining both events. Does not understand why everyone would not want to take a fun vacation to celebrate her. Bride has also requested a specific (expensive) menu for the shower I am co-hosting and sent over a guest list of almost 100 people. Some of these people are not invited to the wedding at all.

We are not going to the wedding or bach party and she can stuff it. I also told her what out budget was for the shower and that she was welcome to supplement it if she chooses, but if not, she is getting the menu we can afford.

[Anonymous]

I am the fort lauderdale poster.... Another former roommate of mine is holding her wedding in Costa Rica this weekend at a 5 star ($450/night) hotel. When several of us said we were coming but staying a a less expensive hotel in town she told us the the resort requires guests not staying on property to pay $25 fee which she would not cover. We said fine and paid her.

Then she told us that we had to stay at the resort because she promised them a min. of 15 rooms that weekend and if we don't she doesnt get her room or her ceremony for free. And there is a 3 night min. Needless to say, the 10 of us who were planning to attend are now not going-- and are out our $25 property fee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I are out our $25 property fee.

Money well spent: You learned what kind of person the bride is, and you bought your freedom (better than chewing off your paw).

[Anonymous]

Wow, 10:52, that's just tacky. I was a bridesmaid in a local wedding and was told that I had to pay the hair and makeup artist (a fee of $120, which was a lot for me at the time) because she needed a minimum of 6 girls. My thought is that if YOU are going to commit to a minimum, YOU better make sure you have the cash to cover the minimum. Basically, in the Costa Rica case, she is asking you not only to travel there but to pay for her wedding by meeting the hotel's minimums. Why would you chose a destination wedding if you can't afford it? Awful.

My biggest problem with destination weddings is, why would you want your entire wedding guest list to be around you ALL the time, especially if you are honeymooning in the same destination? Isn't the point to have the big party and then get away as a couple to have some alone time?