Wondering if others have chosen not to do paid activities with their toddler?

[Anonymous]

it is ourkids.com - sorry!

[Anonymous]

one last try, since I can't figure out how to delete my previous post.

our-kids.com

there...

[Anonymous]

why anyone would spend this much money or time on all of these "organized" activities for kids this age is beyond me....

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to chime in and say that when my ds reaches toddler age I won't be paying for activities. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to come up with plenty of activities on my own, and I will make a concerted effort to make sure he has opportunities to play with other little kids. If that puts him at a disadvantage, so be it.

[Anonymous]

I did quite a few classes with my first but did not do any with my second (now 22 months). I think with my first I did not know what to do to fill the time! I also did not know the words to many of songs, what books were age appropriate etc. so doing those classes were helpful to me, and I made friends with other new moms which was also great. Now I am more resourceful and more relaxed about letting both kids entertain themselves. We also have a house full of truly educational toys: puzzles, blocks, TONS of arts and crafts supplies, musical instruments, water table, and enough books to open my own library!!!. I went to a preschool supply store and got those big mats for tumbling on to put in the rec. room (cost a little more than one 6 week session!) and we all have a blast with it! A tunnel for crawling through at Ikea is $20. I am basically providing a much richer environment than I did when my older kid was same age. (Hmm I think at that point our family room still had glass coffee table in center of room now we have a train table!) My younger kid also learns a lot from big sib. so all in all I feel her life is very "enriched" and I don't feel she is missing out by not going to these classes. Some weeks, we do story time at the library which is, of course, free - that is helping her learn to sit still and listen, and I have started to let her help more with cooking which she loves, so she is learning to follow instructions there. Today she helped me pair the socks after laundry - we had a blast - I never did that with my eldest.

[Anonymous]

I'm not into the paid thing, yet. My kid's 6 months old. Those do seem like such a racket.

[Anonymous]

I start paid type lessons around age 3 or 3.5 - that's when I feel they can get something out of them. Before that, I think it's as much as for mom as for kid (which is fine) but mom usually needs it less with more kids as they are busy with older activties.

[Anonymous]

The only $$$ activity my son has done is swimming through Fairfax County. We go to the pool every weekend-he goes to the park everyday. He seems like he's doing ok!

[Anonymous]

I had a teacher who used to say to his struggling physics students, "The reason you don't understand this stuff is that you had a misspent youth. You should have been running around the railroad tracks. Then the laws of physics would be obvious to you."

Children can learn any environment where they are free to explore and have the opportunity to meet and interact with others. You do what you want to do. Just make sure they get exposed to new things and lots of children and grownups.

[Anonymous]

Paid activities? Besides a church preschool two mornings a week, we never bothered with any of that crap. At first I thought I was "depriving" my son somehow, and then I realized that I had a happy kid who knew how to amuse himself. Plus, I couldn't STAND gymboree. My son liked it well enough, but I'm too old to sing silly songs with a bunch of women I don't know.

[Anonymous]

Similar to several PPs, I did a lot with my son (first born), as did our nanny at the time. Now that I am home with him, and our daughter (now a toddler) I don't do the classes. We are busy with other things, she gets a lot of socialization with play dates, and is starting 3 morning a week preschool this fall (2.5 years old). I would not sweat it.

[Anonymous]

I've never even considered doing any paid classes with my twins.
We go to a few regular playgroups and spend the rest of our time just exploring the world around us!

[Anonymous]

I am actually a very recent convernt to the "paid" classes -- just started a gym and music class this summer with my almost 3 y.o. Up until then we were "do it yourselfers" and I was a skeptic of such classes. But you know he loves both classes and as a bonus the music class lets me bring my younger one (almost 1) for free and she loves it too! (I was surprised by this and figured it would be a wash for her). It's just 2 hours a week but I also like it as it's something planned (and easy for me) for us to look forward to.

I sang songs all the live long day to my son for the last 3 years -- he has never shown any interest in music and I've never heard him sing -- ever -- started to think in fact he must be tone deaf. Three weeks into this music class and he is singing the songs from class. The fact is he just paying way more attention to that music teacher than he would pay to mommy doing the same exact thing.

Anyway OP - certainly you don't need to feel guilty about not taking your younger one to the classes but if your older one is already doing organized activities my suggestion would be to look into a class that both your kids can attend together -- even if it's a little advanced for her you may be surprised by what she will get out of it. There are lots of such "sibling" classes out there and usually at a discount for two. It can be a bonding experience for the siblings as well.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a big difference between doing a ton of classes for one child and then none for the other. I am bringing this up as I have noticed friends who seem to do everything for the first and then say --well the second one really doesn't need it. It doesn't seem fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paid activities? Besides a church preschool two mornings a week, we never bothered with any of that crap. At first I thought I was "depriving" my son somehow, and then I realized that I had a happy kid who knew how to amuse himself. Plus, I couldn't STAND gymboree. My son liked it well enough, but I'm too old to sing silly songs with a bunch of women I don't know.

LOL. If I can be honest on an anonymous board - I kind of felt like this poster too. I often had flashbacks to the scene on the Addams Family Movie with the kids are at summer camp and put in the happy room to watch Disney movies all day.

That said - personally, at 20 months I don't think you need paid activities. Part of the allure in living in this crazy expensive area is that "there are so many things to do" . Many of them are free and lowcost. Also in a way, for me anyway, part of the joy of kids is that trying to come up with silly games and songs, or trying to teach them tennis (when really I have no clue how) is it brings me back to the joy of being a kid. It's not the same when it is with a group of people I don't know and organized rather than something with just us and spur of the moment.

That said, I think when your youngest is 3 and up - you may need to be aware of the equity thing. It will never totally be the same between the oldest and youngest but it doesn't seem fair to have the oldest in soccer camps etc. and say oh the youngest doesn't need anything and everything is around the oldest's schedule. I'm looking around for something for my youngest - maybe when she gets a little closer to 3 and just in thinking what class/activity she would really enjoy it forces me to think of her strengths and interests. My oldest is a pistol and is very verbal and in some ways it would be very easy for her to overshadow her sister. So when I stop to think - what would my youngest like - it makes me thinks of the things she does well or seems to enjoy - possibly different interests from her sister. I feel the youngest should have a chance for her light to shine too.